What can a psychologist actually *do*?

To NiceCupOfTea ...

   I have been to three different psycologists/counselors for three different issues and at different timeframes ... all in the past 18-years.

   I notice you separate a psychologist from a counselor. I probably would (or have) too ... but what would it be based on? In my case ... results!!!!! But, coincidentally, education also had something to do with my comparisons.

   My first Psycologist was a female with a doctorates degree in psycology. I had hidden guilt, that was placed upon me as I was growing up - and I wasn't even aware of it at the time I went to see this Doctor. I went to see her mostly because of depression - and many things going wrong in my life at the time - and the loss of my Father. She "dug" into my current issues and past life situations.

   I got to trust her so much, nothing couldn't be talked about! I think ... that's maybe what you want in a psycologist - the ability to trust him or her ... totally!!! And that's just the starting point!

   I went to see mine for many months weekly, then several months bi-weekly and then for a few months - monthly. I can't explain how many good things came of that.

   My third Psycologist is a male with a doctorates degree in psycology. I have only seen him twice so far - both thimes last year. I need to see him again. His field of expertise is handling terminal patients - but he is very good otherwise - as well.

   The second psycologist was a female with a masters degree - and she was called a counselor by title. Now - there's nothing shabby about a masters degree ... but this lady was just not as good as either of the other two. So .... simply .... some aren't so good!

   I think ... if you give a psycologist some time ... and you still honestly don't think that person is doing anything for you - find another one! It's far too important not to!!!

   I think the best thing a psychologist can do for you is to guide you thru some of the difficulties you're having. I think, in time, you can convince yourself you have a future. You just need a little guidance.

   Oh, by the way ..... you haven't failed at all ... at posting on this site - and I'm sure, many other things!

I have to hope you're both right and speaking to a psychologist is different somehow. Because venting online isn't even making a dent in this current woe-is-me depression.

This is pretty much a one-shot thing only. I think I have 12 sessions. I have to hope I click with the guy, too, because I can't change him.

NCOT

The doc in time will find a way to help you accept what cannot be changed. You will find a way to live at the very least contentedly with your operation and the aftermath. At best you will see your strengths and courage and share with other people and help them in the long run.

One baby step at a time. Your condition did not happen over night and you will not accept it over night. Be patient and loving with yourself as you go through this healing journey.

Peace
Trina

I will go. I've waited long enough for the appointment, there's absolutely no question of not going. I was just in such a bad frame of mind yesterday, I am not sure even a psychologist could have got through to me. I'll do any 'homework' I'm given, too. I'll try to make the best of my time with the guy, but in my experience one of two things tends to happen in one-to-one situations where I'm expected to do the bulk of the talking. I clam up or I become resistant.

The former I literally cannot help sometimes. I am always defensive. One counsellor I spoke to basically told me getting info out of me was like getting blood out of a stone: she obviously found it hard going. And I was actually trying to co-operate! But talking (as opposed to writing!) quite literally wears me out. I'm not actually used to talking a lot. At family gatherings, my family all talk loudly at the top of their voices, and I'm sitting mute on the sides. So I can't switch from being a rather quiet, uncommunicative sort to gabbling my innermost feelings at 100mph.

The latter - becoming resistant - again tends to be a kneejerk reaction. I don't like people trying to persuade me for example: I'm thinking of my dad here. He went through a period of thinking he had diagnosed what was wrong with me and trying to persuade me it was the truth. It never went down well with me: even if he was making a valid point, it literally would have been only 1% of the overall problem but he was making out like it was 100% of the poblem. And he's not the sort of guy who would have accepted that if I had told him.

I'm very suspicious of being persuaded or 'manipulated' into thinking a certain way.

However, hopefully I'll get along with the guy well enough to relax and overcome these mental blocks.

Thank you, folks! Sorry for the mini novel... :-/

Just try to keep an open mind. A good psychologist will get you to open up comfortably. They are trained in that. Sometimes when I am with mine, we just chit chat. Other times we go in depth. I am like you. I can write things out better than talk. I am quiet most of the time, but often, I just don't know what to talk about. I am use to being alone. I hate going to parties, where people get loud. I use to have some loud relatives too. It makes me cringe. You brought back me a memory too talking about that. So thank you. I have acknowledged it, and not it gets tossed away. Into a mental file I guess...

See you are helping others and don't even know it. I am glad you are posting. It does help.

Have a good day...

Hugs,Karen...

@Gizzy - Cheers. I'm glad you got over that hump. It's hard going being an introvert in a world full of loudmouths, particularly if you're affected by shyness or selfconsciousness as well. In fact it becomes a bit of a nightmare. I did partly get over it myself, with my family. I could never be a fraction as loud as they are, but I did start joining in the conversation more. However, since my operation I've been too tired to talk :/ Slowly getting over the post-op fatigue, but it is a slow process.

Anyway, thank you. I hope I have my psychologist is as helpful as yours was!

@getting by - No problem. I feel like you, really: quiet most of the time, don't know what to talk about, used to being alone, and don't like parties. My mum looked out at the neighbours today, having a garden party of some sort (nothing loud; they're middle-aged) and wishing she could join them. I had no desire to be there whatsoever. One definition of an extrovert is that they seem to come alive in company; I don't. Anyway, glad to have helped :p

@BeRock - Yeah, I'll tell the fellow that I'm more comfortable with writing than with speaking.

It's cool how smoothly the counsellor handed your panic attack! I guess that's what a good counsellor can do. I have no idea what the guy I'm seeing is like... :-/

Anyway, thanks all. Hope you are having a good day :p Mine was better than yesterday at least, although it would have been almost impossible for it to have been any worse... >_>.

So I saw the psychologist today... >.>

Not really sure what to make of it, tbh. It was neither a disaster nor a resounding success, but I suppose it was never likely to be either of those things after just one session. Which I managed to miss 20 minutes of by the way, thanks to some utterly appalling directions on the letter. I went to the right place the first time, but the receptionist didn't have a clue who I meant. So I end up getting redirected to another part of the hospital, where they didn't have a clue either. Urgh. Lost it a bit at that point and snapped at the two receptionists. Felt a bit guilty afterwards, but I wasn't prepared to go on another fruitless runaround. In the end, the psychologist guy came out to get me.

He was okay. First impressions were he was a bit bland, but otherwise pleasant. I didn't get any creepy or weirdo vibes, which was good. Anyway, I thought my GI was bland first time I met him, then he turned out to be a really good doctor, so...

Spent most of the session getting him up to speed with my situation, particularly the medical side of things. I wish I could have given a better account of my depression, as I'm not sure he took on board fully how depressed I really have been. I handed in two questionnaires, which I had filled in prior to the meeting, so maybe that'll show it better. I did get given 'homework': create a spreadsheet and provide an hour by hour account of a) what I have done and b) my mood, on a scale from 1-10. It's going to be a bit cringey, to be honest. I don't want to lie, but an account of most of my days is gonna look a bit like this:

12pm-6pm - Internet
6-7pm - Dinner
7-12pm - More internet

Or:

12pm-6pm - trying to get the hi-score in Knightmare Tower
6-7pm - Dinner
7-12pm - Internet

And so on, and so forth.

I actually ended up feeling quite depressed after the session; a bit hopeless, like this guy couldn't help me. But for reasons I really don't understand, I started cheering up this afternoon. Literally nothing had changed. But for the first time in weeks, the black cloud which had been following me around everywhere finally buggered off. Anyway, I suppose I had better go and create my spreadsheet and fill in for today so far, because if I don't do it soon, I'll be doing it in a rush at 2am instead.

Cheers, Karen :p

Managed to have a major meltdown over creating the spreadsheet. Thought I'd remember Excel well enough after 15 years enough to be able to knock up a table. I didn't. Asked my dad for help in the end... :-/

Filled it in, not very well. Even a few hours later, I manage to forget things :-/

Anyway, I got up early today so I'm gonna try to get an early night tonight. Hugs :p

I tend to leave sessions feeling awful, then feel better after a few hours. I think it takes a little while to let go of the associated anxiety.

Don't feel bad if your spreadsheet looks like you're spending all of your time on one thing. That will actually help the doctor get a better idea of your depression.

If the software gets too frustrating, I'm sure a nicely hand-drawn chart would work, unless there was some reason he wanted you to use the software. That's what he'd have to take from me - I don't have Excel. lol

Sorry you had such a frustrating arrival, but next time you'll know where you're headed.

Continuing to send you wishes of healing. :)

Give it a fair chance. Give it a few sessions. There is only so much that can be accomplished in an hour and it was your first session so there was probably time spent getting to know you. Getting the information that they needed to proceed to help you. Don't be negative about it. Don't quit before you start. There is hope. Remember that and have faith. You are trying and that means a lot. I wish you the best!!!

Hugs, Karen..

That is so awesome!!!

Best wishes!

Hugs,Karen...

Dear Cuppa

It takes us our whole lives to get to the wretched place we are now, so now we will have to be patient (which TOTALLY sux). Hang in luv-Iused to contribute here but have been busy trying to crawl out of my abyss of muck.

Keep at it!

Mags

Love that word "whinge"