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Posted 7/26/2013 8:02 PM (GMT 0)
Hey first time really writing so sorry if its a little confusing and scattered.
I've been with this guy for a little over four years and still haven't took any steps forward with each other. I still live at my moms n him at his family's house and want to move out badly. Every time he comes to see me it's late night and in the morning he leaves. We usually dnt go anywhere much besides the movies. He promise it will get better soon but there's no progress. I'm ready to settle down start a family, progress and live my life which he agrees to but said its not time yet. So when is it? 4yrs and still not even one kid. It's like he is unsure about me or something.
We constantly argue with each other on a daily basis about minor things. I feel he has a lot of secrets because I constantly catch him in lies and everyday I find out something new that blows my mind about him and what he's really been doing.i dnt believe anything that comes out of his mouth anymore.
I no longer have any friends because of him n i agreed because i love him n thought we were starting new with each other but I recently found out that he still talks too and hangs out with all his friends behind my back and lie to me about it. Hes always chatting on the internet with new people and when i ask about it he says its noone important and refuse to give me his accounts and passwords. I'm stuck with no one to talk to or hang out so majority of my time I'm in my house feeling alone and depressed and he knows this. He was my only friend and companion. Is he cheating on me? Did he ever even love me? Why does he constantly try to drag me along if he no longer wants anything to do with me? I feel trapped and miserable and starting to loose it.i really don't know what to think or do from here because I have no one to turn too that has my back. How do I move on from this?
Posted 7/26/2013 9:29 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Luv21,

If a guy were lying to me, I wouldn't want to have kids with him. I think it is a good thing that you haven't yet. If he is coming in at night and leaving in the morning, that would put up a red flag, unless he is going to work. Is he working?

I was with my first husband 12 years before we got married. So waiting isn't a big thing. But don't make plans to commit to somebody if you can't trust them. And it sounds like you can't. Take it one day at a time. It almost sounds like he is using you for a place to sleep.

What about you? Do you work or go to school? You need to start planning what you are going to do in the future (besides having children). Can you support yourself? These are goals you should set for yourself. Go to college if you can.

I wish you the best.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 7/27/2013 12:15 AM (GMT 0)
I agree with Karen. More time may point out other flaws in him. You definitely don't want kids with someone who is lying to you or that you may grow to dislike. Remember, whoever fathers your child that person is in your life forever.

I think it would be great for you to move out on your own. The new independence would give you a chance to meet new friends. Or you can call your old friends and see if they are willing to be friends again if you break up with the boyfriend.
Posted 7/27/2013 12:49 AM (GMT 0)
Hey Karen,

Thanks for responding. :)
Ya he has no job. He keeps saying he's going to get one but never does.
I usually would never go for stuff like this but it's my first long term relationship and we've both had crushes on each other since middle school and been going on and off until 4yrs ago when we really went serious so there's so much history behind it that it's really hard to let go.
Maybe it's because of all the stories n dreams he tells me that I keep getting sucked right back in. I've tried moving on before but every time I try he just shows up with all these promises that I fall right back in his arms. I just love him so much and because I literally have no friends or anyone to talk too and he's there it's kinda hard to walk away. I know he takes advantage of being being depressed but I jst dnt know what else do.
:(
Thats why I'm glad I came up here because I feel like this is a step of getting help and moving forward.
Just ur response alone makes me feel like there's some hope left .. So thank u so mch :)
Posted 7/27/2013 10:45 AM (GMT 0)
Luv21,

I think if you go back and re-read you own post you will find your answers. This guy is a deadbeat at the moment. You deserve better than him.

Once you get rid of him, I am sure you could re connect with some of your old friends.

you are young and life is no where near over, but it is too precious to waste on someone like this. Count your blessings you 2 do not have a child together, and move on.

Peace
Trina
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