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My Husband Has Depression

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Depression
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Posted 7/29/2013 1:17 AM (GMT 0)
I have never posted before so I am new to this.
about a year ago my husband was diagnosed with depression. I have never been around anyone who suffered from this ailment. We have been together for almost 20years. So I did not notice the signs I think this was a gradually increasing situation.
We have always gotten along for the most part a typical relationship. Everyone has minor disagreements. We always did a lot together.
So I started noticing his mood changes and all of a sudden he was no longer happy with me was not sure if he loved me and was just very mean and everything that could be wrong was my fault.

So after he started having major panic attacks and anxiety he started missing work.
We went to a psychiatrist and he got the medication he needed.

about 4 months ago he stopped going to the psychiatrist and taking his medication.
He is now angry and depressed again. He also is not sure how he feels about me. He tells me it is hard for him to care about me when he does not care about anything.
I know I need to be supportive and I try but it does not make it easy when they hurt your feelings and blame everything on you It is almost like he likes to hurt me.

I love him and want be there for him I am working on getting him back on his medication.
I just need to know how other people deal with situations like this. I want to be as supportive as possible and make him feel better. It is really hard to watch how depression can completely change someone. It is very hard to focus at work because all I do is wonder if he is going to get mad and walk out of his job again or if he is going to snap at me or if he is going to be quiet.
Also my friends at work and outside of work do not understand how he can not control his feelings they just see how nervous and tired I am so there advise is not helpful just negative.
Posted 7/29/2013 1:33 AM (GMT 0)
Rink, welcome to the forum.

It is very difficult to deal with someone that is not compliant with their medication and therapy. What was the reason he went off his medication? IF it was for financial reasons, some of the manufactures of meds will send free medications if you contact them directly. Plus, there are lots of different medications to try, just have to hang in there til you find the right one or combo. Alot are generic which are very inexpensive.

You could try going to therapy or counceling yourself to learn how to deal with the situation better yourself. This does help in a lot of cases.

It sounds like your husband maybe bipolar on top of being depressed, although ONLY a doctor can tell you this.

If the situation becomes abusive to the point you feel you are in danger you can have him committed to a pysch unit at a hospital. Just call 911. They will keep him for up to 10 days and get him back on medications.

I wish you strength safety and peace
Trina
Posted 7/29/2013 3:39 AM (GMT 0)
sending healing prayers your way rink. keep posting, we are here for you.

with healing compassion,
the happy turtle,
jamie
Posted 7/29/2013 3:51 AM (GMT 0)
I'm in the same way. My husband is depressed but refuses to see a dr. He gets moods where he tells me he doesn't live me and that everything bad in his life is my fault.

I know how much that hurts. It's not fair. I have started standing up to him. I explained how all this bad came from his depression. He's trying harder to remember all I ever do is support and help him. I think our marriage is at its end. It's hard to live with some who will say they don't love you and they just change their mind. He goes through horrible moods. I don't feel like its a healthy relationship anymore. I have 2 kids that deserve stability. It's something you have decide.
Posted 7/29/2013 10:16 AM (GMT 0)
Welcome to the forum. I am sory you are going through this. You need some support for your self. I thin counseling would work. Just to give you strength for you.

Take care and keep posting. You have gotten some very good advice.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 7/29/2013 3:46 PM (GMT 0)
To rink176:

   Many years ago, I had a marriage that was probably typical with ups and downs - but I still remember at 15-years, it was still a good marriage. Shortly after that, it got real bad very gradually ... nothing violent ... lots of silence!!!

   Withdrawal was my punishment, I guess. We went thru our marriage for another 7-years ... too many of them just sort of living comfortably but without communicating. And there used to be a time that every day I came home from work, we would sit down at the DR table ... and talk@!!!!!!

   Many years now ... later removed ... I think her silence came at the same time she turned 40 years old. I do believe, that when something goes wrong, there is usually some kind of an event that started it in that direction.

   I wish there was some kind of a way you could get him to communicate with you ... and go back for counseling ... and likely medication. Whether or not that's possible, you do need some support - whether it's a support group or by a psycologist .... maybe even both.

  

Best wishes to you both.

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