How do I deal with a toxic family?

Hi Kammi, welcome to the forum.

I can understand what you are going through.

Unfortunately, people who have not gone through depression do not know or understand the way we feel inside. Going to a wedding or whatever gathering brings up a lot of tension in us. What can be a party for some is a torture for someone else.

You are not a jerk, I would understand if my only brother would not come to my wedding. But to understand and accept this, people would have to know the distress it can cause us. It is so easy to judge if you have not walked in the other's boots.

Just know that I feel for you, as for advice, this is not my forte. Someone else will chime in and surely be of comfort.

Charlie

I've been in the same situation. I ended up cutting my toxic relatives out. I blocked their numbers and their emails. I also blocked them on Facebook.

They can still text me, unfortunately. I just don't answer. My family is the same as yours. They love to bash me. I've been called so many things. Heck, when my sister had her baby last year and he had to be flown out to Memphis, I stayed with her. I bought all of her food, new pjs, and I drove to Memphis when she was upset that her husband wasn't texting her enough. I bathed, fed, and changed the baby for the 3 days I was there so that my brother in law could sleep. I took lots of pictures and videos for her. When we left, I put in the car seat because he couldn't put it in properly. When we got back I stayed 2 nights at her house to help. The third day I got a huge migraine. She had a friend visiting. She offered to stay with my sister for the night. A few days ago my sister three that one night in my face. Saying I was selfish.

In the end, if people love you they are going to care about your feelings. Maybe giving them space will show them that you are serious about not being talked about or misused.

Thank you everyone for your support and advice. I've been pulling farther and farther away from my family for years now but they still manage to get to me. The worst person is my mother and as much as I love her she is the one person I can't cut out of my life entirely.

I do have to work harder on not letting things get to me. I do take things personally which only makes them win. I understand the theory but the practice is difficult. I'm sure you all are familiar with that.

Today is a new day and a new opportunity to enjoy life!