To whitby78 .......
Without a doubt .... seek counseling. And if I might suggest, seek a female counselor. Affirmation is not your best goal at this point. You don't want a counselor who will slap you on the back and give you a "thata boy"!
Been there ... done that ... I mean avoiding that type of back-slapping counselor relationship!
I feel for you, and seriously, besides the medication, finding a good counselor to spend a good amount of time with will be such a value for you personally ... and some day, likely for someone else. It is most important that you feel GOOD about yourself first .......... then see what happens elsewhere.
Don't think you're on some kind of a time schedule for children. Frankly, I didn't feel like I had the mojo to be a Father until I hit 30 or slightly beyond. I was probably too much into myself ... and kids do take dedication and most importantly, your heart. In fact, we had out first when I was 33 and our last when I was 42 ... losing one in the middle during pregnancy.
As difficult as it may be ... try to accept what your wife wants ... or doesn't want. People do change ... tough to accept! Working on yourself cannot be conditional on anything else. Just put yourself first ... period. At least - for now. Later, let life take you on its journey.
Peace and tranquility ............. Rob
P.S. .......... once you feel better about yourself - then make a list of things that will make YOU feel better. Others will notice!