Gizzy and Me .... #2

   I just got off of a Prostate Cancer Forum Post ... and the suggested next medication for me by my oncologist does not look good. The company is losing tons of money - because they can't sell enough of it.

   No wonder, the cost for the 4-week treatment is only $93,000. and that's not including the cost of the catheters or three infusions by the oncologists office.

   Well - it will be intersting to see what the second opinion is of the oncologist I'm seeing tomorrow ... and it my oncologist can get the cost either covered by insurance or donated by the Provenge company - and that's very highly unlikely!

   But ....... ah ain't a gonna let dis news screw up mah night!

   I had the second opinion today by a doctor I had neve seen before ... and I'm glad I did. Why do things have to be so complicated - sometimes?

  Anyhow ... I need at least a few days to think about whether I'm going to forget about the Provenge, and the oncologist I saw today knows my oncologist - and he said he'll to him about it and give his opinion.

   But ... the bottom line is the oncologist I saw today, who's very familiar with the Provenge treatment, does not believe I would benefit from it. I was really glad to hear that actually. I am getting kind of sick of the medical violations to my body.

   I mean, the reality of it is ... Advanced Prostate Cancer is NOT cureable! The idea is to control it, as the doctor will say ... or to get an extra year or two as the patient will say. No one can tell me how much longer I will likely have ... it's impossible to say.

   But .... I feel better .... and actually feel more confident that I will see at least another Summer and maybe more. So ... just maybe ... I can re-instate my "bucket list"! That would be nice. The past few weeks were not optimistic about the old "bucket list"!

   I'm looking forward to hearing what my oncologist will say when I tell him I'm not going to go on the Provenge treatment ... right now I'm about 90% there for that decision.

   Enough of the medical stuff ................. it looks like the time is coming soon for me to consider replacing my 5-year old computer. So many times it has frozen the past two weeks, and tonight it took me over 30-minutes to get on the internet. I don't know if that's my 4-day old modem or 5-year old computer or AT&T being too busy!

Say Karen .............

   I read all the "daily thread" a few minutes ago ..... there's some pretty funny stuff there. I mean, a couple of people had quite a sense of humor and about dental work - wow!!! It sure did sound like a medical and dental symposium - sort of!

   And ... Gizzy is back to himself today ... a relief! Maybe he just ate some unknown household thing yesterday ... and it passed thru his system by today! He says ... bye to Jazzy!

Rob

   My dog does some very curious things ... sometimes very un-dog-like ... and sometimes what you might expect from a little 8-pound lap dog ... and even yet other times like a 4-month old puppy!

   We have a daily routine in the early morning. He nearly always wakes up at the break of dawn ... and that's not so nice in June when it's before 5am! But now, it's pretty cool. It's around 6am or slightly past.

   The first thing he does is come up to me and places his head on my chest ... waiting for me to pet him. But he doesn't wait long. So within a few seconds he stands higher on his rear legs and puts his front legs (and weight) on my chest. Now ... that's not a nice way to wake up!!!

   Before he can do that, I usually either tell him "it's bedtime" or I pet him. But eventually, I do pet him - because he just doesn't give up. As I start to get up (to a sitting position) - he starts pacing back and forth - very fast. Then he does his howling thing ... like I'm another dog or something!

   Within an hour we'll be going out for our daily ride ... and when we get back, I'll have some coffee and a bagel or muffin. When I'm finished he usually sits down on the sofa - right between me and the TV - just like a window with closed blinds. Every time!!!!!

   When I finally talk him out of that, he'll lay down next to me ... and this morning for example, he like one of my arms around him. And he will pull it toward him while he's laying down.

   Here's the really weird part. He extends his nails - just like a cat - when he pulls my arm toward him. I didn't think dogs could do that. And when you think about a 42-pound dog pulling your arm with his extended nails .... ouch!!!!!

   Before we went for our drive this morning, he was keeping a little distance from me. Sure enough - he had something in his mouth. This time it was a very small (about 1 ounce) mixing jar for painting models. OMG ....... all I needed was for that jar to be lodged in his throat after he swallowed it. Hey ....... he's nearly 2-1/2 years old. When is this puppy s**t gonna stop?

   Just another morning with Gizzy.

Hey Karen - hope Jazzy doesn't do these things to you!!!

   That is a very scary one .... with broken glass. The one ounce jar I spoke about is slightly smaller than a shot glass, and it has a screw on metal cap.

   Gizzy's got a big bushy tail .... and when he gets excited - like ready to go for a ride or to go out, that tail starts flipping back and forth. Well, he did that a couple of nights ago, and stupid me ... had a carousel with a bunch of tiny paint jars, paint brushes, and very small hobby tools sitting on top of one of my floor speakers in the Living Room.

   Well, his tail sent everything flying ... it was night time ... and I thought I had all of the things picked up off the floor - put back in the carousel - then moved it somewhere else. I guess, I was wrong. Within two days, Giz found one of the empty tiny jars ... and later found the other one - probably under a piece of furniture.

   Oh, I forgot to mention in the daily thread ...... Giz and I went out for a drive last night ... kind of unusual ... but I wanted a big ice tea ... so Mickey D's is only a mile away and a different route. In just one mile, we spotted 5 dogs ... just as it's getting dark. Must be a good time for dog-walking!

   So ........ tell Jazzy shame on her ... for scaring her mommy so much! I've already talked to Gizzy ... he didn't pay attention though!

Have a good evening ...... and maybe baseball game.

Rob

   Yes, Gizzy's tail curls over his back ... unless he's being cautious or is afraid of something. Then it's straight down.

   Last night, being garbage night, I went thru the refrigerator and freezer to throw out things that were too old. And sure enough, Giz found, in the garbage, one of those Stouffer trays (for meat loaf and mashed potatoes) that was about 90% cleaned off ... but in the garbage.

   He took off with it ... playing a little game with me ... teasing me ... letting me come to within 3 feet of him, then he took off. It was like a game to him - around the coffeee table ... over and over. And all I wanted to do was to get all of the garbage out to the curb. Even four letter words didn't help!!!! Finally after I stopped chasing, then he brought it to me ... stinker!!!!

   Oh yeh, I remember the puppy breath - but with Bear - not Gizmo. Bear, my Elkhound was only 8-weeks old when I brought him home long ago. But Gizzy was over 12-weeks old when I brought him home - and I think he had just passed that phase. 

   Well, finally I made a call to the Wellness Place that my psychologist recommended. I left a message late yesterday for them. And I have an appointment with my psychologist for a week from Saturday and expect to schedule two more shortly after that one. I hope to be able to talk to my oncologist next week - but will be going in there on Monday for a blood draw (to check my kidneys) and for an Xcheva shot (for my bone structure). I think I'm going to give the Cancer Society a call by next week also. So ... I keep moving forward!

   Well ... yes ... the weather does change quickly doesn't it. A few days ago, it was stay cool. Now it's stay warm on those walks with Jazzy.

Rob and his mischevious furry friend

   I would normally have posted this on the Alzheimers Forum ... but it was too depressing ... so you guys got lucky!

   I was over to see Mom at the Home for Dementia this afternoon, a week before her birthday. I usually try to get there at 1pm, so everyone is finished with lunch ... but Mom was not quite finished. So I sat and watched her finish eating.

   Then after that, one of the caregivers (a new one in only her third day there) announced let's do your nails. So, of course, Mom wanted that - so she was one of the first two to get her nails done after the old nail polish was removed. So I sat there and watched that.

   Then after that, one of the volunteers came in from one of the other two buildings and said "let's play Bingo" in the first building. So I wheeled her over to the first building. Not many people for Bingo were there yet, so we waited ... and I listened to Mom complain about how cold it was in that building.

   Finally, they started to set-up the Bingo tables ... I wheeled Mom over to one of the tables ... the facilitator told me to seat her at the table we were in front of - which I did. Then Mom started complaining about how the facilitators are supposed to pick the table to be seated. I told her - she just did - and I seated you there. Mom didn't believe me.

   Then I asked the facilitator if she would please just seat my Mother. She did ... then Mom complained to her that she didn't want to sit there. She was moved to the table she wanted to sit at ... then Mom complained that she didn't move her wheelchairin far enough.

   At that point ..... after being there for 90-minutes without seeing one smile or hearing one kind word from Mother ..... I got the hell out of there. And on top of it, there is road construcion between my house and that Home for Dementia, so close to 3-hours of time was spent this afternoon ... all to be ignored and then yelled at.

   It is such as shame that this disease can be so cruel to the people who have to take the brunt of all of the negative vibes - and I mean the realtives normally. Mother is afraid to treat the caregivers in a mean way.

   I have NOW VENTED.

   One other thing though, it's a shame I didn't have Gizzy with me. While I was there, many animals came by - and some live there. One black Lab, one white Boxer, one Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, one Toy Poodle, one cocker spaniel/poodle mix, one black cat, one burmese (I think) cat, one guinee pig and (never seen there before) one Tibetan Terrier (really cut - looks like a mini version of an English Sheepdog with less hair).

   It saved the afternoon.

God Bless animals ...............................

   I am sorry to hear that you've gone thru the ordeal of having a close family member degenerate with either dementia or alzheimers. You know how difficult it can be as a surviving family member.

   My Mother has been in this Home for a year now, and I go to see her every week, and this past week was only about the third or fourth time she was nasty. It was not "sundowners" because it was right after lunch.

   I guess what bothers me the most is that I am the only person who goes to see her on a regular basis - and yet, my Mother says to me she "wishes she had a daughter because they are so good to their Mothers"! And that's not the dementia talking. I've been hearing that for at least 18-years now - and am totally sick of hearing it! In fact, she is the biggest reason I went to see a psychologist for the first time 18-years ago ... she had been laying guilt trips on me since I was a kid!

   My youngest daughter goes to see her (with me) about every other month. And one of my Mothers closest friends goes to see her about every other month. Nobody else goes to see her.

   My Mother keeps talking about how great her neighbor (across the street from her old house) is ... and I know (Mom told me) that she gave that neighbor a diamond pendant that was going to go to my oldest daughter. After going thru everything in her house this past Summer before her house was sold, I could not find any of my Mother's jewelry at all.

   And a very funny thing ........ that great neighbor across the street has not gone over to see my Mother once in the year she has been in that home. Is she guilty? I wonder!!!!

   Oh well .... the story gets to be like a Peyton Place - or worse - if I was to continue. So ... when it comes to the good old memories, there aren't many of them - sorry to say.

   I must say though ..... I feel proud ...... of breaking the cycle - if you know what I mean. I have never ever tried to say anything to hurt either one of my daughters - and I've tried to be as supportive as I could over all of the years to them both.

   My session this Saturday, with my psychologist, will undoubtedly have something to do with unfinished business with mamma.

Peace and happiness to you

Rob ...... and Gizzy too.

P.S. - Gizzy has gone nose-to-nose with a couple of the dogs over at the Dementia Home. Once with the black Lab and once with the white Boxer - and a couple of times with the toy poodle. Oh yeah - and once wwith the Burmese (I think) cat. Only the toy poodle tried to bit him once in the face. Gizzy was a perfect gent with them all.

   First .... hope all is well with Jazzy and there's nothing serious there. I found Giz chewing on a plastic container two days ago, took it away from him, and then couldn't find the few plastic pieces he chewed off. I can only guess it went into his stomach. His stomach is one big dumping ground of garbage it seems. It worries me at times.

   You have a very complicated family structure ... or at least did have. I have a half brother I never see ... sad situation but I heard he moved to Mississippi a couple of years ago after he got divorced and left 3 sons behind. My half brother is 11+ years younger than me.

   Not that it's any of my business ... but I think you did the right thing in thinking that your Grandmothers money was hers ... and for her support even if it was in a Nursing Home. It is too bad that "money" does tear apart too many families.

   I was so happy that my Mothers house sold as quickly as it did and without having to reduce the price. So now, she has enough money in the bank to keep her in that Home for Dementia patients for the next three years. If she's still alive by then, then she will be virtually out of money and will have to go on medicaid and into one of their facilities. By then, she probably won't know what's going on. She has lost a lot mentally just in this past year.

   Well ........ you have a good day. Again, hope whatever Jazzy has is very minor is well very soon.

Rob and Giz

   Hope Jazzy is OK .........

   I had an appointment at the Oncologist yesterday afternoon for a blood draw (they do a panel monthly to check my Kidneys) and for my monthly Xgeva shot (for my bone structure relative to the cancer). After those were done, my Nurse Practitioner walked by and asked me how I was doing.

   She is easier to talk to than the doctor. She seems to give as much time as I need also whenever I have an appointment with her. So I told her about the second opinion I got last week from the group of doctors she intitally recommended seeing to get info on the Provenge treatment.

   As I was talking to her, I realized I had made a 100% decision to not go on the Provenge treatments. We talked about it briefly ... and I now have an appointment with my Oncologist (her immediate boss I guess) this Friday to see what might be the next step.

   In the meantime though, I mentioned to Cindy (the Nurse P.) that I'm not happy with the loss of strength I've had ... and that I want to go back to the Wellness Center to start the excercise program I used to do three x a week.

   I'de like to be able to walk Giz for a mile or two daily .... not just the three blocks I walked him twice last week. And since I'm not going to be on any kind of a chemo treatment for a while, I want to increase my strength and stamina while I can. The chemo takes a lot out of you.

   She agreed ... so I'll give the hospital a call this week to see if I can re-start the program by October 1st.

   Then, early last night, I finally got a return call from the Wellness Place and got some info. I should be getting a call back today from the guy who heads the Prostate Cancer group ... and that there is a meeting of that group this Wendesday night. So ... I may start that. It's a local and very close to my house - support group for men. And I understand they get together for a breakfast monthly - that's more social than business - so to speak.

   So, even though yesterday wasn't a revelation ......... a few thing came together - mostly regarding direction, and that's needed by me at times.

   Well, since it was lightweight insulated jacket weather this morning around here today ..... I hope it wasn't too cold up by you. I feel much as you have stated before. I do kind of like cold weather down to around 20 or more - as long as the wind is light. But I prefer Fall weather ... and Spring weather ... in other words, light jacket weather.

   Hope you have a good day.

Gizzy and Rob

   It's great that Jazzy is better ... so depressing when our four-legged friends are having a problem. Gizzy was SO depend upon me last night because of the distant lightning ... a big lightning show in fact for a couple of hours. It's funny how he needs to cuddle up so bad when there's lightning and when there isn't ... he usually can be found laying down at either the front or the rear doors. Both are not close to me and my sofa at TV time - unless he's hungry. Then, believe it or not, he's starting to bring his s.s. bowl to me at the sofa. Yep ... he's trying to lay a guilt complex on me!!!!!

Hi Mags .......

   First, COPD can be a very manageable disease. It can't be cured, because the damage to the lungs is permanent ... but there are several things that do help at lot.

   Probably no surprise is the most important thing you can do for it is ... to stop smoking. It works ... it really works!!!! I started a pulmonary excercise class three years ago, and their first requirement was ... you have one week to stop smoking! Then the excercise sessions were under the supervision of about 3 or 4 RN's with a class size of about 20 people.

   The blood oxygen level is most important, so it was checked at least 3 or 4 times during the 80-minute sessions. Personally, I stopped them a year ago, but I made the decision to re-start (hopefully October 1) the excrcise sessions.

   I know very well the so-called trade-offs ...... you gain weight when you stop smoking. But, that doesn't have to happen. An excercise program can help that a lot.

   For medication ........ the albuterol is supposed to be used as a "rescue inhaler" or not on a regular basis for a long period of time. It is great stuff and it's reasonable in cost. If you have COPD, you will likely be put on a different inhaler for daily use.

   The Advair or the Spiriva are somewhat different - and I was on both for several years. Both are expensive ... but should be partly covered with insurance. The Advair, taken twice a day, does have a steroid and the Spiriva, taken once a day, does not. When I went on Prednisone (a steroid) for part of a cancer treatment, I was able to get off the Advair. It worked very nicely.

   I used to have deep chest congestion. The meds completely solved it and without side effects (except the cost)! I used to wheez at times - never do any more. Much of that is due to my stopping the smoking!

   I have been there. To stop smoking is a b*tch ......!!!! My Primary Doctor gave me a low cost prescription med that helped and I also went on the patch for about two months. There is a well advertised medication for stopping smoking that ends with "tix" ........ don't use it! My doctor refused to prescribe it. It makes you nuts ....... it plays with your head ...... stay away from it!

   I hope I have given some words of encouragement. I stopped cigarettes about 12-years ago right after a failed relationship - but that's another story!!!!!

   But I started smoking cigars instead ... and I enhaled them for nearly ten years. They nearly destroyed me!

   I think you said your husband smokes too. Please ... try for both of you to do this together. Some day, when you have grandkids, you'll be very glad you did.

No excuses Mags ....

Talk to you soon Karen .........