Just an update.

AV-Stop listening to 'people'! Court has nothing to do with your illnesses. Don't talk with folks who are not supportive! I made this rule for myself many years ago. For whatever reasons, there are people in the world who just like to be sour, and look on the bad side of everything. Spending time with them is not going to help you.

Hope your new meds help with the pain. Also, keep on going with your phsyical therapy.

You KNOW that you need the emotional therapy, too. So, even though it's hard, bite the bullet and get going.

If you engage in defeatist thinking, then nobody can help you but yourself. Don't pre-judge, pre-decide, or assume. You control your self-talk. So, get going on that, please. That's your homework for tonight.

Good. Let me know tomorrow how it goes.

-makes mark in gradebook-

Sometimes people cannot help this--but sometimes it is just ignorance or maliciousness. At any rate, I have enough junk in my head without letting their stupidity in. Just my opinion, of course, and easier said than done.

My BF does tend to be negative. He is better about it when he is actively meditating. But, whenever he says something down, I say, "So, what's something good about this?" Mindfulness is hard work.

No matter what the outcome, continue to work on you. Don't let others influence your thoughts. This isn't going to be the easiest thing, but it isn't going to be that hard. I don't think you will go to jail. Let them know you can't work.

You are going to get through this, though I think you need to go to the pt and to therapy. Counseling could be helping you at a time like this. I really think it would be helpful for you.

Take care

Have a good night

Hugs, Karen

That makes me think of my something my daughter says. She calls breasts "bonbons". I have no idea how or why she came up with that. I've always taught them the anatomically correct terminology. Personally, I hate all the nicknames for private parts.

My sister taught my niece that her vagina is a cookie. Well, at school another kid was talking about cookies and my niece ended the conversation by exposing herself. She also walks around saying her cookie itches. I hate it!! I think my sister is setting her daughter up for some embarrassment if not worse.

She is 6. She says the craziest things. My sister and brother in law don't always watch what they say and she has said some crazy stuff. Her first word was such a funny, shocking thing. She was in a high chair at the table with dad and me sitting on opposite sides of her. My sister was at the sink. Aubree was eating crackers and she dropped one. She looked down for a minute and just screamed "crap!" Dad and I were shocked but then you just had to laugh.

My kids pick sarcasm up from me. Just little things that I don't think about. My son especially picks that stuff up. Mine also dance all the time. They have choreographed the "Gundam Style" dance as a partner routine. It's so funny.

I'm trying to not focus on the negativity. My son has been telling me jokes all night. He checked a joke book out of the library. He cracks himself up. Caitlyn is taking care of me. She's such a sweet kid. Even my grandmother, who is very old fashioned about kids, says that Caity is the most laid back and helpful kid.

Got a note from my dr faxed to court today. Contacted an organization that helps disabled people find jobs. My mom offered to let me come stay with her for a few days.

As much as I've fought and wanted this marriage to work its time to throw in the towel. I'm incredibly depressed at all times. He makes me feel like I'm the worst person ever. I've spent today getting everything ready for court and contacting lawyers. I'm hiring a lawyer to help with my disability circus. I've called a couple about divorce. I'm sure it will be uncontested so I'm looking for the best price. Of course, he will have to pay for it all so I have to discuss it with him. I moved into the my daughters room today. I can't keep going like this. I'll probably go to my moms on Saturday because I have pt tomorrow.

I am worried for my cats. I can't take them with me. I have no idea how long until I have a place of my own. I hate to leave them in any situation where they may not be taken care of. I hate to give them away. They are members of my family. I've raised hunter and mojo since they were babies and my kids adore them.

Yep, then it is time to go.

I am sorry it had to come to this. My thoughts for you, sweetie.

Perhaps he can pay for a hotel for you and the kids.