Depression after getting married?

My husband and I got married right after a grueling 9 month deployment. I was so excited to start our lives together. We were moving to a new state where he is stationed, getting a new apartment. I really thought that getting away from home was the best thing for me. But lately I have been feeling so depressed. There are a number of things that go through my head on a daily basis. I can't shake the feeling that he is going to be deployed again even though he isn't supposed to be. I just always feel like something is going to come between us. And after being away from him for so long I can't help but feel like I want to be around him all the time when he isn't at work. A big thing that we fight about is that he is always playing video games. It drives me crazy because I feel like that comes before me. He is an amazing guy. I know he loves me. But at this point he doesn't know what to do. Lately I have been crying all the time. At first it's just about something small but then I get more upset that I'm upset in the first place. Part of it could be that I haven't been able to find a job yet out here so I'm stuck in the house all day. I just feel like my mood swings are going to drive him away. I guess in the end my biggest fear is him not loving me anymore or me ever losing him.. I just don't know what to do. I want to be happy. I should be happy. But I'm having a really hard time with the whole transition. I need help....

Hi Chelle,

I am sorry for how you feel. Try taking things one day at a time. It is a lot easier that way. Try not to get upset about the video games. He doesn't love them more than he loves you. But they can become addicting. Have a talk with him about it but not when you are mad.

Hi Amy,

Welcome to the forum both of you.

Have a good day...

Hugs, Karen....

Also, you are in a new city, yes? Without your old support system?

This can be very anxiety-producing. I have moved a lot with my job, and going to a new place is exciting at first, but then awful.

Get out and learn your new place. Make a support system. Get out of the house. Volunteer. Go to a church, if that works for you. Go hang at the local coffee place or gym or park, or....

I don't tell him to stop. I play video games a lot too. All that I ask is that he doesnt play from the time he wakes up until the time we go to bed.

League of legends.. nerd game lol.

Lolzers, Somedude is now giving his own special brand of 'support' on the Depression board, I see :p

I like playing videogames myself, but if he is genuinely spending every waking hour every day playing them, that does sound excessive. I can't see the point of getting into a relationship if you barely spend any time with your other half - might as well just stay single and play videogames 18 hours a day minus the background sound of nagging.

On the other hand, I can't stand women (or men) who are overly possessive of their partner's free time either. It is a quite difficult balance to strike. Probably if I was in a relationship (yeah, right), I'd want to spend 3-4 days/evenings a week doing couple-y things, and the remaining days of the week we could each do whatever the f... we wanted. I don't have a clue, tbh. I'm just giving an example.

Anyway, not only can videogames be addictive, they are often deliberately designed to be that way, especially online games. It's possible your spouse may be a bit depressed himself and retreating into a videogame is his way of dealing with it. Maybe you could compromise? I.e. he spends x amount of time a week with you, videogame-free, and the rest of the time he can play his game in guaranteed peace. (Buy another console for you, if necessary :p)