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How do I stop thinking I'm an objetc of laughter?

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Posted 10/26/2013 5:58 PM (GMT 0)
I think when we were children, we all got messages from our parents, mand I want to think not everyone got negative messages. BUt I did, lots and lots. Especially from mom.


Well, now, I'm struggling with all of that. One of the things that worries me the most is that I feel I will never be able to do something because I feel like I'm acting like an idiot trying to do it and that people will make fun of me.


An example, imagine that when you were a child you wanted to play the guitar, and then your mom comes and makes fun of you and says: are you crazy? why do you think you can do that? Then you start feeling sorry or shame of yourself, you leave the guitar and everytime you ant to take it, it comes that feeling and you don't want to feel like an idiot so you leave it.

And now that hyou are older, you feel exactly the same cry , like you don't even want to thuink about it because you will feel incapable and sorry for you. You want to do it, but you know you can't, you were not made for that and the fact of just trying results laugable for other people.


I know these voices are mine and that now I'm the one who says those things to myself but I cna't help feeling that way. And since I feel that way, I act weird or anything. What do I do to start stoppping this?S: anyone has any idea???
Posted 10/26/2013 9:00 PM (GMT 0)
WM,

Hello, this is Kitt and I have interacted with you in the A & P Forum.  I am sorry to read that you are having problems getting past all the negativity you Mother put on you when you were younger and that she continues to this day to make you feel bad about yourself.

Feelings of inadequacy often have their roots in childhood experiences, whether being subject to a critical parent, cruel peers, shaming authority figures, or, perhaps, having not had an opportunity to engage in positive, challenging experience in which a child can prove to herself her own competence and adequacy. I believe I shared with you that I felt much like you and until the past 10 years. I frequently felt I was not adequate, as good as or could ever accomplish something that took skill.

Therapy can help us to develop a more realistic image and more realistic expectations of ourselves. It can also help us discover activities, relationships and experiences that can build our sense of competence. Finally, it can help uncover childhood experiences that may underlie our negative feelings and help heal those experiences through the process of insight and catharsis. We have talked about therapy before and I do hope you remember that CBT therapy would be a great choice for you. 

Relationship inadequacy can be addressed by setting goals to feel empowered within the relationship. If you continue to  allow your Mother to verbally abuse you unhappiness will be part of your life. You must learn how to express your emotions and be more assertive. You have many great assets so identify  and expand upon them. The goal of therapy is to acknowledge your strengths and minimize your  weaknesses so that you  can feel confident and adequate, regardless of what anyone tells you.

Work on believing in you ! You can do this.

Kindly,

Kitt

 

Posted 10/26/2013 11:48 PM (GMT 0)
Waning Moon,

Kitt gave you some good information.

Positive self talk it one way to turn this situation around.

I completely understand, I have the same problem when I am cooking and I just tell myself "I can do this". I am in the middle of teaching myself how to play the piano, because once I was to stupid. I am learning that I am a lot smarting then I thought I was!

Challange those negative statements and thoughts each time you have them. You will be amazed at what will happen in your life!

Peace and courage
Trina
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