Depressed Wife Help!

 Time went on, and she became more distant. She told me she wasn't happy,and still couldn't get a reason for why. Tim went on, and she started to spend time with this boy outside of work. I for example had asked my wife to see a movie with me after I got off of work, and I got no response. I got home, and still heard nothing from her. I finally got a text from her, and it said I am at the movies with Mitch. I felt crushed, and was I not worth her time to talk to me and tell me her plans. I tried to tell me wife after that a married woman does not spend time with a single woman. Time went on, and one Night I got home from work to no wife. I tried to get a hold of her, and nothing. Finally at 3am her friends carry her in. She ended up drinking with a few of her friends. She laid on the floor asking good to kill her, because she felt so terrible. My wife was never a drinker. The next day I told her why'd you do that? I asked her why did you not answer my calls or texts to where you were, because I was worried. She seemed very saddened by her actions. She told me she was sorry, and that I deserved to be treated better than that. A few days went by, and she told me she was going to to a concert with her friend Mitch. I told her I couldn't support her actions, and that I refused to. She was like hes only a friend. I told her that it wasn't right. She told me she was going. The day of the concert came. I left her be for the most part, but when it was over I asked her when She would be home. Time passed for ever, and when She got home she was sitting in the car talking to Mitch. I begged her to come in, and spend some time with me. She gave me a sour face, and closed the car door. I went back out and opened it, and asked her to come in so I could see her. She said fine, and she gave him a hug and came in. She was pissed at me for what she thought was a scene. I begged her to tell me about her day. I tried to talk to her, but she refused. Once again I cried myself to sleep. The next day came, and she laid in bed all day. I tried to talk to her, and she refused. She kept saying she was worried about us. I tried to talk to her, and begged her to talk to me. She still refused, and I begged her until I had cried. I finally left her be, and from that moment on she had resentment for me. The next day my wife told me I know your going to be upset, but I don't like the man you have become.

 She says I don't love you either. I was devastated, and I asked her why. She told me, because you could just leave me be with my friend. You were constantly asking me where I was, and what I was doing. I told her that the her time with her guy friend was making me jealous, and it was hurting me. She told me to grow up, and that he was her friend that I had to accept. A week passed of her texting, and talking to me. Her friends told me that this kid was switching shifts to work with my wife. I found this odd, and asked her about it. She got upset, and said it was nothing. By now I am feeling very very crappy. She went on to say once again how she was fed up about how we were barely getting by, and how she hated her job, and was fed up with school. I tried to encourage her. I begged her to go see someone, and she told me it wasn't any of my business. She got angry, and I didn't know how to feel. My wife barely responded to my daily texts and calls, and became even more distant. We went to the store one night, and the whole time she texted Mitch, and she didn't pay attention to me at all. I told her that I wished shed tell Mitch to leave her be so she could spend time with me. She didn't want to. She said she wanted to talk to me. The whole ride home I begged my wife to talk to me, and she said about what. She said I don't want to talk to you. We got home, and out comes her phone to talk to Mitch. I asked her whats wrong, and she said that she had started to have feelings for Mitch. I asked her does your commitment to me mean nothing, and she said she was unhappy. She said she had been depressed about life for awhile. I told her that lately I have become her door mat, and I wish my wife would care about me. I told her that for the last few months I have felt like you don't care about me. She told me I love you as a friend, but I don't have feelings for you anymore. At this point I was at the lowest point in my life. She told me that she no longer wanted to try to make our relationship work. I begged her, and told her I would be the best husband you could ask for. The whole next week I tried to do everything I could for her to know I cared. This only made things worse, and I asked her to see a counselor with me. She refused, and said she didn't want to. I finally talked her in to letting our pastor come over. She put up a wall, and she refused to let listen to the things that were said. She denied her depression, and the fact she needed help. I begged her after the visit to get help she said no.

 She said she didn't care and there was nothing I could do about it. She told me that she was going to follow her heart, and at the time it didn't involve me. This put me over the edge, and my chest hurt so bad. When my wife was at work I drove my self to the hospital. I called my sister and told her I was going to the hospital. I told her not to call my wife at work. I was laying in the hospital bed when my wife walked in. The first words out of her mouth was thanks. I want to thank you for possibly ruining my friendship with Mitch. When He found out that our problems put you in the hospital with chest pains her refused to talk to me. She told me if you say one word about our problems I am going to leave you at the hospital. The whole time I laid there and cried about how mean, and careless my wife had become. I got discharged, and my wife told me on the way home that I wasted her time. I was shocked, and she told me that she was tired of the drama. She told me she was beyond done, and that I cost her Mitch when he found out what was happening. She became hateful, and mean. She took me home, and left me at the house only after reminding me of how she didn't love me anymore. I got out, and cried. I went in our house, and wrote her a letter telling her that she'd be better off without me. 

. I had in my hand a pic of us after I asked her to marry me. She got so angry at me, and told me that I needed to grow up. She told me that I needed to stop being a *****. I was in tears, and embarrassed for her finding me like that. She left me, and went to her friends. The next day she called me, and told me not to keep tabs on her, and that she was going to go hang with friends later that night but she'd be home late. I got off work, and she never came home like she promised. I eventually found her on a couch at her friends house with her friend Mitch. She was pissed at me when I found her. She was laying there on the couch with him, and I was crushed. She said I want this to all be over. She said she was over me, and that she was ready for me to be out of her life. I told her I wasn't going to be treated like this. I would no longer be her doormat I told her when I got home I'm grabbing my stuff, and staying at my sisters. She told me good, and so I came back a few days later. She was laying in our bed depressed, and had a bottle of pain killers next to her. She wasn't really with it, and their was a bottle of alcohol on night stand. I begged her to come with me to some counseling. She said no, and I begged for her to try. She layed there and said no.

 She says I wish I could love you, but I don't feel it anymore. You cant make me do something I don't want to do. She said then that she hated her whole life, and hows he wished she could start over again. I begged her to please get help. She that she had feelings for Mitch now. I couldn't believe it. At this point we have only been married 5 months. A few days go by and I finally got hold of my wife. I had this bad feeling that she was going to want a divorce. I asked her what she wanted to do. My worst fears were realized. She said she wanted a divorce as soon as possible. I said babe I'd do whatever it takes to make you happy again. She said its over, and I had to accept it. I told her that your just depressed, and that we can fix all of this. She said she was tired of the drama, and that it needed to be over. A week went by, and she told me to come over to the house. I got to our house, and waiting on the table was divorce papers. She said she needed them signed. Once again she was taking her pain pills, and trying to make herself feel better. At times when I talked to her I thought I was getting to her. She would then pull back, and tell me that I cant make her love me. She signed her parts of the documents. She laid there and went back to bed, and laid there depressed.

 She told me that her best friend was the only thing keeping her alive. I told her let me be here for you, and she told me no. She said I was never there for her, and that she hated me now. I Kissed her fore head, and told her I loved her. She cried, and told me to leave. I tried to text her, and she didn't respond. Her work called me looking for me, and She finally showed up 3 hours late. Her family tried to encourage her to save her marriage. She alienated her parents, and her sister. She told her dad off, and crushed him. Since then they have yet to talk. She told me that I was responsible for her unhappiness, and her depression. She said that she never meant to hurt me or ruin my life. I get the feeling like she regrets her actions at times and then changes her mind. I know after doing research I have seen others having similar experiences. Someone gets so depressed they try to find something to make themselves feel better. In this case it was her guy friend, and since then it's been all my fault. She went on to tell me that she had concerns before we got married that she was afraid of the commitment. I feel so ashamed, and depressed. I am completely devastated that the woman I love isn't with me. Our divorce is final at the first of the year. I have tried to talk to her but she is so mean. She treats me bad, and then asks me why she wastes her time talking to me. She got rid of every trace of me in our home.

 Threw away all of our wedding pics, and wedding stuff. She got rid of any sign of me. She told me she didn't want anything in our house to cause her emotional grief. She told me that she wants to forget me entirely. I have continuously begged her to give me a chance to help her. I have begged her to use my insurance to see a dr. to no avail. She just blames me for everything, and that I caused this for not being there. I know I did all I could but I feel so guilty still. I blame myself, and its affected my job. All I do is sleep, and I don't have any passion in life any more. I feel so alone, and all I dream about is my wife. I wish the woman I loved would come back, but I don't think its going to happen. I don't know what to do, and I am lost.......

Hi there, This is a long post, from now on please do not talk about self harm or suicide, it is against the rules.  And for these long posts, please try to use paragraphs.  It is very hard to read without...  I am going to try to make paragraphs for you if I can...  Thanks for understanding...

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 12/4/2013 3:12:02 AM (GMT-7)