relationships

Hey Michele ......

   A little victory is something. I understand patience is more than just difficult, but try to give it some kind of timeframe that's realistic. then try to get little victorys - even if it's just one at a time - before or by the timeframe .... then re-evaluate.

A short story:

   Back around 1984, things were getting very rough between me and my wife. One day, after coming home from work, we're sitting down at the DR table before dinner with a drink - and talking.

   I got out a yellow page directory and found a Marriage Counselor in Clearwater - just 6 or 7-miles away. I showed her the ad ... and she said "sure ... you want us to go see a man counselor"! I said "no - why don't you pick the counselor"!

   She looked at the yellow pages for a few seconds then said " you go to see the counselor, you're the one who needs it"!

  

   Well, besides the obvious denial that was present ... no marriage can have it's problems solved with only one person going ... and the other person sitting in "la-la land."

   We actually had a second child the very next year .... then separated in 1989. Not a very happy story ....... although, I am blessed with having that daughter that was born in 1985.

   Summary ..... give it a little time if you see some signs of improvement - but without him willing to go to a counselor, it really does not look good for the future. This is not an encouragement to separate or divorce ..... just a word of caution.

Wishing you the best.

   Rob & Gizzy

 

Don't get me wrong Carl, I haven't stopped crying since 5:30 this morning but I will rebound and be stronger. Now if I could just get this negative self talk out of my silly head. Why do we beat ourselves up so good?

Hi Michele,

First I want to say how sorry I am for what you are going through. It is a horrible feeling when your partner acts the way he is acting.

Secondly, this may be a point of your life for moving on. And that isn't always a bad thing. You could find life is very good to you even if you are without your partner. Things do change and good things happen. This could be a new beginning for you and I hope it is.

I don't blame you a bit for feeling like you do. A lack of communication can be so damaging to a relationship. And with him being silent, it is definitely a lack of communication. You have tried your best. You know that... Keep coming here for support. We are all in your corner.

It is so sad when a relationship seems to be ending. But I think you will find somebody that you will communicate well with, be it a friendship or a relationship. Life is not over for you....

We are all here for you Michele...

Hugs, Karen...

Hang in there Michele, you are going to be okay. It just kind of sucks right now...

You are strong. You are smart and pretty. I know the pretty doesn't matter, but you have things going for you... Just roll with things right now, once the holidays are over, you will be able to sort things out. Again, I am really sorry...

Love and hugs, Karen...

Well it's official....we are getting a divorce.....I've already cried my tears and dealt with the thoughts of being a failure.....

Honestly I feel relieved. I'm a bit scared to be alone but with my friends and kids, I'll never really be alone.

Relief.....

It would be 2 years this February. Of course he's blaming me and my depression (every time I take a new med my personality changes).

I understand it easier to blame others. I don't take that responsibility for the blame though. I actually think our situation caused even more depression for me. I'm not going to do anything stupid but I am going to ask my doc if we can lower my meds from 4 to 2 over the next few months.

I wish my sleep would improve. I sleep like an hour and wake up for an hour... Any suggestions?

What we talked about las night is that he had one month to literally get back on his feet. He's still recuperating from surgery. And let's face it, the man needs to make some money of his own! I plan on securing my accounts ASAP. And the house is mine so the kids and I get to stay where we are. I'm praying it doesn't get messy.

Thanks for your support!

One day at a time Michele, it will get you through. It sounds like you are financially secure in yourself. And I am glad that the house is yours. This wont be easy, but you will get through it. It hurts I know...

Yes, the man needs to work. He will feel better about himself if he does. Getting back on his feet might be a struggle for him, but that is no longer your problem... You got other fish to fry...

You will get through this... Keep posting and know we are here for you...

Luv and hugs, Karen...

It's always a shared responsibility, IMO. It bites, babe.

I take ambien and a half a muscle relaxer. It helps. Sleep is a necessity. If you don't have access to 'help', a hot bath and soothing music can also help.