Okay, so I've been sad for almost 6 months already, I haven't seeked a doctor or anything.. I just turned 19 on Christmas & I got kicked out of my house 4 months ago... I'm currently living with my boyfriend who I have 1 year & 9 months with... So, I guess I should get started??
Back then when I would get mad or very sad my side would hurt, left side from my stomach... & a few months ago that pain went away & now happens in my chest.. Now, around 2 weeks ago I got extremely aggravated & over the top sad... Then my chest pain came & I felt dizzy, I began breathing hard & my bf grabbed me & sat me down on the bed. Later then I began to clatter my teeth for 5 minutes straight, I had my eyes shut & then when I
opened them I saw that everything was green. I was scared so then I closed them... When I
opened them I felt like it was all a dream. I don't know how it happened, I just thought it wasn't happening. That had never happened to me before!! I felt weak afterwards & I went to bed... Now I'm here today, & I have around 4 days that I began seeing things. A dark shadow... about
3 days ago I felt something tickling my feet... I honestly thought it was my boyfriend messing with me, but it wasn't then I thought, "well maybe it's my chihuahua since he's so playful" but then how was that possible if he was sleeping right next to me on my shoulder? I didn't really want to worry about
that, so I left that in the past... But then, the next night something pinched me! Same thing I thought, but it was no possible way, the dog didn't sleep with us that night. He's tiny to even get on the bed... My boyfriend was on the other side of the bed!? That same day I called my dad & told him what was going on... He says that it runs in our family that we start seeing things at the age of 18 or 19... He told me to pray & ask my grandpa if he can protect me... He also told me to buy an all white candle... So, I did... I left it on the whole day & night...
I felt the room at peace.. I felt so much better. My dad the next day asked me to come over... I couldn't, so I went Yesterday (Sunday) he told me that the night that just passed he herd foot-steps in my old room... I was so afraid & scared.. I have a few days that I feel like something evil is inside me.... I feel like I want to laugh when people tell me to pray & all that holy stuff.. I want to hurt people sometimes, but I pray & I feel a bit better. I am able to control myself.. I really am, I have been crying though. My mother in law did that thing on the egg & put it all over my body, I had white balls on it when she broke it & put it on a cup full of water. I don't know how you call that, but it's a Hispanics tradition when something is wrong... She prayed all over my room as well... & now (Today) I feel as if it's still inside me.. It wants to break loose? I was reading a similar story but it says it has to do with depression.
I just need something to make me feel better. I know I have a tremendous family & all, but yet I still feel alone? I know I'm depressed, I can tell when I look at myself in the mirror, my mother in law tells my boyfriend, everyone see's it in my eyes... I cry most of my days... I'm just not the same anymore... I miss the old me, I miss the old days where I would laugh & smile at the world... I'd laugh for every little thing.
please help me... I need someone.
Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 1/6/2014 1:10:40 PM (GMT-7)