My life is utterly dull, meaningless and worthless

Only you can change your way of thinking.

You are not worthless or a waste of space.

I am sorry you feel this way.

Hang in there, Your life will get better, but you have to put the effort into it by getting counseling or reading some self help books. Something to change the way that you are thinking.

Happiness isn't just a fleeting moment, nor is it over rated. It can be. But it takes work. I am happy most of the time, but if I thought about the things I wanted and didn't have (such as money), I would be depressed all the time. I make the most of what I have. I enjoy the simple things in life, things that you cannot buy with money. The happiness is there, you just got to let it out.

I hope that you can find what makes you happy. And quit beating yourself up mentally. You have helped others and don't even know it.

Hugs, Karen...

Keep Moving Forward said...
That post on UC depressed the hell out of me too.

That obvious, eh? And there I was, thinking nobody could possibly guess what I was (in large part) referring to... >.>

Anyway, here's how my gloriously internet-free day went today:

12pm - Get up. (I normally get up at 10 or 11 to be fair, but living at home I find it impossible to significantly change my schedule for reasons too long and boring to go into now.)
1pm - Do the Guardian Quick Crossword, get lunch.
2-4pm - Watch crap daytime TV
4-5pm - Watch episode 15 of S3 of TWD with my mum (I had downloaded it for her, 'cos she missed it when it was on TV).
5-6pm - Played Person 4 Golden. Had dinner.
7-10pm - More P4G.
10-12am - Intarwebz

By my standards that was probably a productive day. *shakes head*

Anyhow, my birthday is on the 19th January... :-/

JB1 said...
If you were socially inept , I would say you have Aspergers, but again you dont come across that way to me. Bottomline, I think your wasting your time with these assessments.

I have heard that Asperger's is being done away in favour of Autism Spectrum Disorder, or whatever; my appintment letters also referred to adult autism and not Asperger's. In 10 years' time, they'll probably change the name again anyhow.

Anyway, with all due respect, you don't know what I am like in real life, so I don't think you are qualified to judge me in that way. I don't know if I am mildly autistic or not; that's precisely what I want to find out.

JB1 said...
So what if your 39, have no job, and still living at home? That situation is more common than you think!!

I don't know anyone else in that position. I've never had a relationship, never lived away from home (apart from a couple of disastrous attempts to go to uni), and never had a proper job to speak of. That is not a normal situation and nobody can persuade me it is.

getting by said...
Happiness isn't just a fleeting moment, nor is it over rated. It can be. But it takes work. I am happy most of the time, but if I thought about the things I wanted and didn't have (such as money), I would be depressed all the time. I make the most of what I have. I enjoy the simple things in life, things that you cannot buy with money. The happiness is there, you just got to let it out.

I really don't think happiness is there inside me just waiting to be let out, I'm sorry.

I'm tired and weary. I have missed the boat at having a career (perhaps at being a doctor: with my utter lack of people skills, I'd fit in like a glove with most doctors) and getting married and/or having children (who I'd pass all my terrible genes onto, like the ones for depression and Crohn's).

Sorry folks. Still down... :-/

It takes all types to have a world these days. We can't all be brilliant, famous, rich, gorgeous, ya know. Some of us have to be smart and hide our frickin' lights under the bushel. Or, however that stupid proverb goes. Perhaps yours is hidden under the haystack, or at the bottom of the ocean, or in your parent's backroom. Whatever.

Seriously, 45, failed marriage, no kids and not wanting any, a degree with no practical use, failed career, student loans out the wazoo (whazo, wahzoo), a car falling to pieces, health problems.

I really only worry about one thing. Okay, two. My health and the fact that I am still looking for stimulation in my work that becomes hard to find.

Ohh, I've recently got hooked on athe Walking Dead. :)

Everyone's lives have difficulties. If you just looked at my facebook you'd think I just have a great life. I'm sure I'm not the only one hiding the horrible facts from everyone else. Try hard to not fall for that lie of perfection.

Something that may help is volunteer work. That helps me a lot. I enjoy helping others and you mentioning wanting in the medical field makes me think you do, too. I help at the local humane society, spend time at a nursing home doing whatever needs doing, and am involved in the local March of Dimes events as well as local Special Olympics. Nursing homes love having people come in and spend time with the residents. A lot of them have no family that visit.

Decide what is most important to you and go for it. It's better to try and failed than to never have tried at all. My best friend is 30 and he's never been in a relationship and he is just now moving out on his own. He's a great person! I'm sure you are, too. Life just hasn't been nice to you. So make your own happiness. You can do it !

Thank you, guys.

I made the mistake of going back to "that" thread today and being depressed anew by other people's perfect lives, hobbies, jobs, etc. I also wasted at least two hours trying to reproduce a fancy table that somebody had posted. I can do a bodge job of sorts, but not the beautifully formatted example that he posted: ******. *shakes head*

@AV - Well, at least you're honest about it! Most of my family aren't on Facebook, but I do have one aunt who absolutely cherry-picks the best parts of her life to put on display. As it so happens I know enough about her to know that her life is not as wonderful as it seems (family gossip FTW :p)

You mentioning volunteer work reminds me I talked about that at my last appointment. The guy gave me a few links to check out, which I just did: dunno what he was on about by voluntary work, 'cos none of them seemed to have any voluntary work. (By the way, might be some useful self help resources for people here: healthy minds)

My only qualm about doing voluntary work is that I'm dire at small talk and, indeed, medium and big talk as well. But still, my mum is right, I should really try to find something to do... :-/

@Bnot - I would wish you a happy belated birthday, but not if you don't really celebrate it... :-/

I found the piece you mentioned, I think: www.online-literature.com/yeats/celtic-twilight/19/

'Twas nice. I also liked this bit: It was peaceful like the faces of animals, or like
mountain pools at evening, so peaceful that it was a little sad.

Anyway, thank you and peace to you, too.

@Happy Bean - Cool beans :p

For whatever it is worth, I don't think there is a clear-cut dividing line between 'depression' and 'not depressed': it's not only the depressed who have the monopoly on being miserable! Likewise, even the gloomiest of depressives can sometimes cheer up for a bit. So don't worry about not being officially depressed, or whatever: like Trina said above, you are here for a reason <_<.

Free online courses are an excellent idea. I'll look at the open University website, see what they've got. Thanks
muchly; my best wishes to you too.

Edit: Why did you delete your post? There was nothing wrong with it! :-/

I don't want to disrupt the forum, just having a few internal things going on.....though it will fix itself, it always does :)

Health is so stupid. Been without insurance for the past four months, and paid through the nose for my meds. Started new insurance recently, a group that does really managed care... in-house everything and doctors following through. Getting the tests. Already got a callback on one, more gyno stupidity. Colonoscopy next month, as well as new bloodtests and another xray.

Fibro is bad alternately, but I am used to that. Kinda made my peace, so to speak.

CD is -enh- more a pain in the butt than anything. I am attempting to follow SCD, and do well, mostly. Still taking HD Asacol, and usually do not have problems. I will have three day flares with nausea and vomiting when I eat something I ought not. Food allergies runs in the family, and I ignored it for a long time.

What has really felled me was the depression last year. Bad job, hated where I lived, ailing long-distance relationship, crohns in a bad way before and after colonoscopy 1-13 discovered even more issues. After a long time time discussing it with therapist, I quit job and moved back with partner.

Quitting job was a burned bridge. I know it. I shan't find another job in that field again. I loved the field. But I was so Burned and depressed and over-worked there was no way to get another job elsewhere (meaning no time for the requisite research and publishing), and the admin at my school was in serious disarray.

So, working on relationship, check. Trying to get as healthy as I can get, check. Trying to find a job I can live with, check.

We all need a period of mourning. That period is highly variable. Being sad for what was or what might have been is normal. The danger lies in not moving on to what is and what can be now.

Cyber thoughts for you.

Oh and Happy Birthday :) :)

Happy Birthday!!!

BTW, find a goal. Make a list of what you want, and then find something to work towards. Present and future, not past.

You sound rudderless and unhappy, and that is a bad combination. Having something tangible to occupy your attention is a big thing. Use the bird-day as fresh start point.

Make it a good one.

Hi NCOT,

I think I have been at rock bottom with the fibromyalgia and depression. I know that feeling of not caring, and honestly it was a relief. It is an easy place to stay too. But as you do get better, the challenges become easier to deal with. so keep hanging in there...

I like Amazon too. I got a Kindle this year. Actually for my husband, but I love it. I got the kindle fire.

The only problem, is that it is just too easy to order things, so I have to watch myself. But I got Amazon Prime, and everything I order is free two day shipping. I love it.

When you do start to do things, remember to pace yourself. Do just a little, then rest. Or find something you enjoy to do. Reward yourself for the small things. You deserve it. I hope you are enjoying your birthday...

Hugs, Karen...

I've got a Nook hd. I love it! I read a lot and it's so much easier to carry my nook around then a bunch of books. They also do free books on Friday, which I never miss. I know a lot of people get them for other uses but for me the reading capability is best. I can adjust the type size and can read in bed without my glasses!! Yay!

I've been in that spot where I felt like nothing mattered. My depression and health issues have left me in a struggle in the last year. I've had so much negativity in my life that I let it overwhelm me. Now I'm trying to find a path that I enjoy and can physically handle. I'm taking steps to make the changes. It's scary and sometimes I want to give up. I just have to keep telling myself that today is a new day and a new chance. You'll get there. Just one day at a time.