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Just a question about "what makes you so depressed"? Here is my reason

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Posted 8/5/2005 10:22 AM (GMT 0)
Depression started when I was about 35 and escilated from there. At the moment, my depression hinges on my personal health issues, my MIL in end stages of cirrhoses and liver failure, the way I worry about my Grandchildren and their safety. (I pulled sex offenders and child molesters for their city and the area in which they live and E mailed it to them), I worry about my Mom who at 84 stills has the stamina to go-go-go but she lives alone and I worry about her falling. I worry about my husband and I am paranoid that something will happen to him and then I will lose my best friend. I get depressed if I listen to the news and hear of children being abducted. I get mad when I here that repeat molosters get out of prison and commit the same crime over again. I get depressed when I hear a child is missing or is found dead. I'm depressed about my physical limitations and the things I can't do that I want to. I hate taking 13 pills a day and sometimes I feel useless and a burden for my husband. Other than that, things couldn't be better!

 

Hugs

"Lefty"

Posted 8/5/2005 12:51 PM (GMT 0)
There is nothing specific that makes me depressed but through therapy I have learned that it may have been when I was molested as a child. I have anger issues and trust issues because of that which has made relationships very hard for me. I don't know how my hubby has stuck with me for 14 years through all of this stuff. It makes me realize that I take him for granted sometimes. Dont get me wrong, I have put up with a lot of his stuff too but he could have hit the road a long time ago. Back to the point. I think that it is different for a lot of people. That also makes treatment different for a lot of people also. I know that my health issues have a lot to do with my depression as well. Chronic health problems almost always harbors depression.
Posted 8/5/2005 4:22 PM (GMT 0)
I wish I knew. I found out I was depressed during my late teenage years, but in reality, looking back it started before that. Sometimes things seem to look up only to come down hard l8ter. I agree with Lefty about the news, both paper and television and no longer watch or read either. I see greedy and revolting acks when I look to those sources and can't stand thinking they're all around me. An annoying paradox that seems to drag me down, is this; I have my youth and yet for no reason (or maybe there is IDK) I am kept from enjoying the vast majority of it by feelings I do not understand. I've struggled through a few years of wayward self medication trying to make it go away and only messed my brain up more. I had a bad experience when trying doc prescribed meds so I ran from them into other "meds" and only ended up where I started. Of late I am frustrated because I can't find a job and desperately need one. I guess the answer to this post's question is, I don't know and its really frustrating.

As much as this all sucks, at least we can all relate! At least there are others who know how we all feel.
Posted 8/6/2005 4:01 PM (GMT 0)
I can't remember a time of not feeling depressed really. I grew up with a mother that suffers from mental illness. she's depressed, anxious, violent, and hooked on pain killers. A lot of crazy stuff happened to me when I was a kid. I was molested by a man that my mother was sleeping with. and when I told her about it, she accused me of lying. And I was forced to be around him after the fact. I was taken away from my mother at age 9, when she pulled a knife on me. She threatened to kill me because I didn't clean up pop that was spilled on a counter. Then I lived with my dad and he remarried a good woman. But a stern woman. She never wanted me around when she was "relaxing". And she always judged everything I did. Now I am living with my boyfriend and his family. My parents are always too busy working or building their cabin to talk to me. My boyfriend doesn't discuss his emotions. His parents are pissed that we are still there. I can't keep a job. I have a really hard time being close with people. I have little self esteem. I have violent tendencies myself. I have hospitalized twice for suicidal thoughts. And I am trying to figure out a way to survive everyday. there's more to the story probably. but I can't begin to even sort out my numerous thoughts right now.
Posted 8/22/2005 4:54 PM (GMT 0)
hmm their's nothing specific that makes me depressed their maybe several things that trigger my depression have really hit the nail on the head with that one yet. I know depression has followed me for a long time. I'm questioning my reasons for going to counseling only b/c i feel stabble right now but i know if i quit going to counseling something will happen and i'll spiral downward again. I don't want that to happen. the last time was so awful I missed two days of work because i was so down and scared about everything. I mean scared of what i might do to myself. i don't want to ever hit that point again. so i'm trying to remain positive about this counseling and continue moving forward but in the back of my mind I'm thinking god that's $25 every time I go. Luckily my counselor is really good about letting me pay every other visit. But still I know its for a good cause improving my well being but still i can't help but feel guilty for going, knowing we could use that money to put gas in the cars these days. I probably should voice my doubts to my counselor the next time I see her. I go back august 30th. I've been going once every two weeks. I just can't afford to go every week like I probably should be doing right now.
Posted 8/22/2005 5:54 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you all for your input.Some of you have suffered much more than I have and my heart goes out to you all. I guess it's true what they say, "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger".

 

Hugs

"Lefty"

Posted 8/23/2005 3:08 AM (GMT 0)
My depression and anxiety is because, my husband is ill due to cancer of the lungs. He has had so much chemo and radiation that he can verily walk. They say the cancer is gone (the second time), but it has caused him so many other health problems. I have help for him now.
I know I must keep thinking positive, but it is hard to do.
I take meds for both the depression and anxiety and it does help me cope. I lost my last husband to bladder cancer. So this is like a double whammy. Anyway I'm doing everything I can
to make things easier. Bless those people that come to your home and help. Dee
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