Things that I wish I could change

Hey MissJD,
Well to me, every problem whether it's minor or not there is still this nagging feeling where you feel like if only you could change the way that you wanted but even if it's long, we'd all would soon accept and learn on how to live with it. Nobody would always *grow out of it* but sometimes, we would just have to accept the fact.
You sound like a great caring mother to me because you express your worry about your son and that shows that you care about him and love him to bits. A mother's love is very powerful and you should know that.
Your body is now a part of you; when you're sad about it, think about your son. think about what you've created to the living; a wonderful human being. Sometimes, you just need to sacrifice some things in order to get something even better.
For your family, losing a family member is part of the process in life. Even though they're not there physically anymore but they would always be in your heart. They're in a better place now and that's what important.

Remember, you're a great mother and a great person. everyone always have their bad days and some are worse but everything's gonna be alright. (-:

I wish you a pleasant day!

Joanne

MissJD if it matters to you and is hurting you, them it isn't minor.

I will agree that your worry and concern for your son indicates how caring you are as a mom. Being a single parent must be extremely difficult, but your son is lucky to have you.

Regarding your divorces, it takes two to tango so to speak and you can't take all the blame on yourself.

Feeling unhappy with your body is a tough place to be. You can't avoid it and that is hard. Is there something about your body that you still love and can focus on? It made your son and that is pretty amazing, I'd say.

Hope you can find some moments of peace today and know that you are not a bad mother, daughter, sister, friend.

Hi MissJD, I hope you are ok. I understand what it's like to want to change certain aspects of your life, and for things to be more like one might have imagined.

I think, at least I know that...those many years ago, as a child, imagining what we, my sister and I, would be like when we were older, I guess I would have expected that by now I would have at least one child of my own. To be honest, that 'imagined' adulthood, was very vague, since I've often been the type of person who doesn't plan out there life so much 'vague', though I should have given up smoking cigarettes by age 30 (that was a plan, though it hasn't happened yet!!, it 'may' do soon, you never know).

I was an emotional child too, and probably 'sensitive' though I do have a thick skin as well now.

I like what Karen said about it becoming gradual (change). I have been getting despondant since change is not happening by itself as much as I want it to happen more positively, and I realise tonight that some of this is down to confidence, I've lost a lot of confidence, but that is something that 'can' be worked on, little steps, testing boundaries when talking to people (in my mind might work). Like I could spend an evening with people and feel like the one that doesn't know as much, doesn't work as hard, at the end of the day, I have something, and so does everyone else... I think it is important to see the good in you, and recognise your strengths, and the good that you do give :) I know it is hard sometimes, people are sometimes their own harshest critic.

Really wishing you feel better soon! HB :)

I wanted to thank you all for the kind words.

Change is very hard for me to do and connect with. I have always been this way. I do have to change for me and loose some of the weight as it puts exta pressure on my hips and back and is very painful everyday.

I always wanted to be a lawyer growing up but all the schooling is hard as I lack social skills and the mental balance to do school.

I would love to go to school though to learn Spanish and to become a vet tech or medical coding and billing specialist, I will have to see what I can do for that. Good night and thank you all again.