HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

Just needing to talk about some things

Support Forums
>
Depression
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 2/22/2014 3:07 AM (GMT 0)
Hi I have been active in the anxiety forum for a little while but am currently experiencing depression. I was on paxil for a month but nausea and depression steadily got worse. I am now on Prozac to bring me out of this hole. Some very painful memories from about ten years ago have been coming up too. They were triggered by a movie I watched about cults. I wasn't in a cult but dealt with a lot of mind games and controlling behavior from a boyfriend and a group of his friends. I lost a lot of friends when they didn't understand a lot of what I was going through after. I had PTSD but didn't know why I had it. It took a long time to realize what had been going on and I usually can't remember a lot of it. I really don't like where I'm at right now mentally but am working through it. I am still very goal oriented and am sticking to them: exercising every day, meditating, drinking plenty of water, eating well.

I also have just created a lot of space between my mother and I so part of my support system is not available. This is because I need to protect myself from some of the things she is saying to me. I'm struggling with social anxiety...not being sure if someone is being kind or catty, judgmental or accepting. I feel hurt from some things that were said by in-law family over weekend but not sure if they meant to be hurtful or not. I'm not sure if I'm feeling pain from the family members or just from the past. I'm not sure if I'm reacting appropriately to the current situation or reacting to memory triggers.

I just really had to get that out. 

Posted 2/22/2014 9:11 AM (GMT 0)
You need to start believing that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are goal driven so start reaching another goal by saying to yourself and making it your priority to do so and say : THERE IS NONTHING WRONG WITH ME" You are normal just like anyone else. This is your healing and it is time to heal. What you think about yourself you will become so make it your goal to and start here to think positive if you don't know what is positive write them down and if your mom says negative you remember positive. Alright! Do this activity. If you place a glass of water in the palm of your hand and keep it there for a long time you wont be able to hold it anymore as you will become tired and it would put straign on you. Same as your past you will have to take the glass of water out of your hand. So take your past out of your mind, and your future same as you will take that glass of water out of your hand and keep focus as you don't want to put that water in your hand again! Take care of yourself **** A doctor once said to me use your will power not ***** so I am giving the same advice to you. Use your will power and you are worth it. You are valuable. You are strong. You are not afriad. May God be with you I pray.

Post Edited By Moderator (BnotAfraid) : 2/24/2014 2:32:06 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 2/22/2014 1:36 PM (GMT 0)
Showersami, it sounds like things are tough right now but it is awesome that you are goal driven and aiming to improve your life. If you need to take the Prozac right now, don't feel bad. It can be a helpful for some people and it is a personal decision between you and your doctor.

It is tough when you aren't sure what people mean by things and sometimes when I am at my most anxious I read in to things that aren't there. Are you seeing a therapist or someone you can talk to outside of family and friends? I think that you could benefit from some outside insight into the exact situations and statements from family and friends.

I hope you have a good day!
Posted 2/24/2014 8:21 PM (GMT 0)
you shouldn't give a crap about what people think,or say,you need "me" time,i love your determination & perseverance to get well.i can relate to what your saying about not knowing what people mean when they speak to you,that's why i get pretty defensive sometimes.anyway,i think you should focus more on improving yourself & how you feel,keep going,& if you ever need to talk to someone,we're all here.
Posted 2/24/2014 9:29 PM (GMT 0)
Shower, I am sorry that you are going through this. Know that your mind will not allow memories to come any faster than you can handle. I know this, because I am in my 3rd year of returning memories of child abuse. I am 53.

Shower, if a doctor has put you on medication stay on it unless you have discussed the matter with the doctor first.[ EMOTION we can not tell member to stop taking their medication.] You have rights, but you want to be safe about what you want to do.

DBT skills help deal with the churning emotions if used daily. There is a link in the "resources" thread at the top of this forum. I think it is on the 3rd page. Take some work, but is well worth the time.

Keep posting here, we listen and support the best we can.
Peace
Trina
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply