No one shows me respect

I've been dealing with depression since I was around 14. Recently I've gotten a good hold on things, through the help of my doctor and medications. Even though I'm doing much better and my relationships with my children and my husband have never been better, I find myself leaving in tears whenever I'm around my mother or sister. I feel they don't respect me at all. They talk over me constantly, which makes me feel like they care nothing about what I have to say, they give unwanted and quite frankly very rude advice to me about things they think I should be doing or not doing. For instance, my sister who has no children will order me around about what to do with mine. I can plainly tell my sister does not think I'm a good mother because she thinks I should be doing typical things with them. I'm a stay-at-home mom,
Kindergarten room mother and pretty much everything I do is for my kids. I make healthy, homemade meals. I don't drink or do drugs. I take my kids to do family activities but she gets hung up on things like I haven't registered them for tee ball or things like that. My oldest is 5. He has plenty of time to get into organized sports.
Now my mother constantly makes me promises to help me do things, simple things like cleaning my house or going on a shopping trip to help me get the kids new clothes. With two young kids in tow, shopping by myself is pretty rough. It would also be nice to have some time with my mom. She never keeps her promises to me or follows through on her plans. Now it's gotten to the point where she isn't respecting my parenting. If I say my kids can't have ice cream because they didn't eat their dinner, she's gives it to them anyway. I tell them no, she says it's okay.
I feel in every aspect of my relationship with them they are blatantly rude to me. We spend a lot of time together so cutting them out of my life would be difficult. However I didn't go to our weekly family dinner the other night and it was the most enjoyable Thursday night I've had in 5 years! Any suggestions? I can't talk to them. I've tried. My mom pretty much laughs at me. My sister has said she'll try not to do such and such but after awhile she always regresses to her old behavior.
I'm really beginning to slip back into depression hard because I feel like they don't value or respect me.

You will have change you, you can not change other or expect to

There is a link under resources for DBT therapies. This would be a great thing for you to check out. Dialectiable behavior. does wonders for ourselves.

Peace
Trina

However I didn't go to our weekly family dinner the other night and it was the most enjoyable Thursday night I've had in 5 years! Any suggestions?

Yes. Don't go to the next family dinner. And the one after that, and the one after that, and so on.

Families produce some of the most poisonous dynamics on earth. It's not uncommon for one child to be designated as the black sheep, while the siblings are favoured. This rarely has anything to do with the child actually being a bad person; to the contrary, it seems to be the most conscientious ones who are more likely to be manipulated, and the selfish ones favoured by their indulgent, inconsistent parents.

It's virtually impossible to change family dynamics. The participants are usually in too much denial for it to happen. Some people are so screwed up they can't give any love or affection, they can only be controlling. It is not your fault. But I do think you ought to emotionally and physically distant yourself from your mother and sister, and stop seeing them so much. I wouldn't be entirely surprised if your mum and sister's relationship was based on mutual neediness and they actually loathed each deep down. I'd get a certain amount of satisfaction from just walking away and leaving them to get on with it.

Hang out with people who do actually care for you and have your best interests at heart instead.