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Posted 4/9/2014 8:04 PM (GMT 0)
Hello. My name is Jimmy. I am 26 and have been working with depression and anxiety issues for 3 years. I take 20mg cetalopram nightly. I have been an alcoholic for about 2 years and most recently consume an average of 26oz a day. Bad I know. I have smoked weed since I was 16 and couldn't imagine a life without it. I have a B.Sc.Eng but after 2 years of work I quit and started a bad side business which failed quickly. I have tried two psychiatrists and could never really click with them; I am a stubborn guy.

I have recently moved back in with my parents, and being an introvert I don't open up to people and I spend about 90% of the time alone. Which I don't mind most of the time. I have also come across some legal issues which are pending.

My problem right now is I can't break my LAZY habit of sleeping in, getting drunk/, rinse and repeat. My parents are too worried to bring it up and care about me getting better; they don't know about my recent behavior and I don't want to hurt them bringing it to their attention. Loving parents but not very open.

I'm not sure what it is but I almost feel like a zombie. I feel content getting drunk all the time. I sleep about 10 hrs a day with dreams that make me feel worse and sleep longer.

How do I stop this spiral? I thought I already hit rock bottom but now I am back to my usual ways.

Hopefully someone has a similar situation. I figured this would be a good idea and maybe a push in the right direction.

Thanks everyone!
Jimmy

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 4/9/2014 7:00:15 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 4/9/2014 8:19 PM (GMT 0)
Welcome Jimmy!

Is seeing a therapist an option? I know you tried two before, but sometimes it takes time to find one who can help. If you do not want to go to your parents, you probably need to ask for help from someone.

As with any change, a manageable step is always good. Most people undermine themselves by trying to change too much too fast. One step at a time, and succeed at your new change. Then, make the next step.

Get up every morning, shower and get dressed first thing. It really does help with depression.
Posted 4/9/2014 9:05 PM (GMT 0)
Hello Jimmy .....

   You have said a lot in your post for a proclaimed introvert. You've also accepted the responsibility for your actions and maybe mistakes ... and not used the very convenient "my parents did it to me"! Hey man ... you deserve some congratulations!

   I assume when you said 26oz a day - you were talking about 80+ proof stuff! There is your starting point. You have to start with an abrupt change in the alcohol. Is it that you believe you are an alchoholic, did someone you repsect tell you that or was it a doctor who told you?

   You could very well be .... and if so, you need a serious redirection and professional help.

   I said "if you believe", because i once believed that for years myself. I ran my own small business and thought "maybe i am a functional alcoholic"! It certainly put my depression (from a divorce and death of close family) into deeper depression. I rarely consummed hard alcohol, but I would tyically go thru a case of Miller Lite every 4 to 5-days - just to get a little light-headed most nights!

   Somehow ... when i stopped smoking 3-1/2 years ago, my taste for booze reversed to almost nothing. My need for booze just stopped. I surprised myself. Now, I am a legitimate "social drinker" and average 2 to 3-drinks a month!

   At some point, I think you may want to bring your parents into the discussion. I think you should start taking the actions yourself with either a doctor or AA. I also think it would prove a great deal about you to your parents (and others) by taking that first step on your on.

   A therapist would be good to start with early too - and perhaps your parents would really want to help you financially with that - once they've seen you reach out yourself for the alcohol problem on your own.

   I would however try first a "talk psychologist" rather than a psychiatrist.

   I'll leave the weed alone and the bad business alone. Sometimes a bad business experience can be a great teacher or learning experience. One thing for certain ... starting and running even a very small business can create tons of problems. You need a sound mind (no binges) to deal with those little problems. Yep .... focus first on the booze!!!!

Peace and wellness

Rob & Gizmo

    

Posted 4/9/2014 9:51 PM (GMT 0)
Hi there,

We can't discuss marijuana here unless it is in a medical sense. I have a medical marijuana card, so I understand how it can help with depression, at least it does for me. The alcohol, I would try talking to your doctor or getting involved with AA. I think alcohol will depress you. It is a depressant. It sounds like you have a pretty good addiction to it.

In essence, we alter our moods basically because we don't like the way we are feeling when we are straight. So being straight is where we need to start. Work on liking yourself for who you are. I would talk to a therapist. Or your doctor. Get started. Alcohol can physically harm your liver and your brain. Try not to drink. Though you may have to taper off if you are drinking all day long. Kind of go slow like you would with medications. As alcohol is a drug.

I hope you feel better soon.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 4/9/2014 10:27 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Jimmy, welcome to this forum (:

okay, so i understand that you're in a tough situation but you gotta admit it; deep deeepp down in you there's this boy encouraging you to change each and everyday. that little boy's telling you to stop it but since you're 'addicted' to it, your mind ignores that little boy. the next time you get a bottle of alcohol, think for just a second. think about it before you do it. Rob's right, this IS your starting point. don't make a change for the worse but instead for the better.
when you pick up a bottle of whatever, just pour it in you back yard or something and resist the urge to have just the right amount that you're consuming now. if you go from go alcohol to no alcohol at all, that's a big joke. nobody will EVER and i mean EVERRR make it. instead, take small baby steps. one at a time. you'll be proud of yourself at what you've achieved after several months. trust me on this. (:



you can do this jimmy. there's more to live for. it's time to turn your life into a brand new fresh start. take one problem at a time and just slowly solve it one by one rather than taking a bunch of problems at once.

feel better,
joanne

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 4/9/2014 6:57:24 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 4/10/2014 6:08 AM (GMT 0)
Hey Jimmy,
well i don't have any experience with alcohol whatsoever but my dad is an alcohol addict and to be totally honest with you, i hate it. but either way, i can't do anything. you have to change yourself. other people will support you in this. i know i am supporting you in this.

i am not sure why your therapist said that. for me, i'd like to do things that are quite 'critical' as soon as possible so i can get off the hook and get out of that corner.

as i said before. let's start by sorting one thing at a time. it's like this, let's imagine if you're writing 2 copies of paper and in order to get it done faster, you decided to write with both of your hands. it'll never work out. you need to concentrate on each paper in order not to make any mistakes or you'll have to redo the whole darn paper again. (this scenario includes a strict boss).

feel free to email me anytime. you can find it in my profile. i hope you feel better.
P.S.- i believe everyone in this forum will not say "suck it up and just get over it."
Posted 4/10/2014 9:47 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Jimmy

Do you have any hobbies that could distract you without booze? Nothing fancy, reading is okay I think. I used to read all day when I was a teenager, it was my happy time because I could get out of this world and travel between stories and be other people in my head. It made me a little unrealistic but I never had my two foot on earth either way.

I'm depressed too, and it was a long journey (years) before I looked for help, now I'm seeing a psychologist and things are getting better I guess, at least I no longer feel alone and I like being alone too but there's a difference between appreciate time alone and feel "all alone", I hope you get it.

One thing that helped me a lot was my dog, I have since it was 1 month old (it has almost 10 months old now) and now I have a company that unlike humans, listens and respects me. It’s great but it's also a big responsability.

Good luck with your journey, don’t give up.
Posted 4/24/2014 2:51 AM (GMT 0)
Hello Jimmy,

UR asking the right questions. You are familiar with UR issues.

Any medications RX at this time? Anxiety,depression, ADHD....?

Alcohol addiction is a powerful mind altering disease. Alcohol literally trains the brain for the cravings. Once the chemical reaction is locked in the brain signals the rest of UR body to react in many ways. Even the mind thinks only for the next drink.

Google the alcoholic brain compared to normal brain.. MRI SCAN.

So many added behavior problems exist with alcohol addiction & persist ie; the legal issues u mentioned with no details. That will get worse, sleeping all day , nightmares, alcohol cravings, isolation behaviors, until u cannot hide it any longer. It will consume every thought .

Do u drink until u back out? Do u drink to medicate urself?

An evaluation needs to be a priority if u want to have a better life.
Your parents will find out about all UR issues, if they don't already know. Denial & suffering is not a life. Talk with UR parents ask for help is the best thing u can do to break the habits of despair, deep pain and all the behaviors that drives u deeper & deeper into the alcohol abyss.

JOIN AA. YOU know the drill.

Only u can fight the fight. Never give up a good cause... Yourself !

Last may my son was living on the streets, a full blown alcoholic for 25 yrs he drinks to medicate ( bipolar) . He was almost killed because of a black out ...he had no memory of what transpired, and as a parent I know I cannot help him.. He has to do it, he is the adult...he knows the drill.

He was young once now I hardly recognize him. He looks older than his parents. Absolutely took me down. I'll never be the same.

You can go on with taking the easy way drinking ... falling... Further....
Or you can take yourself to a life with no drugs or drink for escape. Feel life and learn the coping skills needed one day at a time.
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