Posted 4/27/2014 4:15 AM (GMT 0)
**I'm a regular poster on the UC forum, but need to post here tonight**
I have a 60 year old dad who is a mess. I'm having to sell the business we run together because he is so withdrawn that I don't see any other outcome but sell or struggle. He is on zoloft, but only seems halfways normal when he also supplements with Trazadone. He has mild sleep apnea that he insists is much worse and that nothing helps (including the c-paps and mouthpiece things), and he does have horrible back pains which are justified... as his three brothers have all needed back surgery... and he probably does.
I just am at a loss of what to do. My mom and I tell him every day to take his Trazadone because we see such a huge difference in him when he's on it, but he says it doesn't help. He just kinda sits and looks distanced a lot of the time, although he is still active doing things. He'll lean on things, or complain, or I don't know... just essentially be a different person completely from the one we used to know.
It's so sad to me. I'm 29, just got married earlier this month... and am having to deal with dad on an almost daily basis at least until I move on from my business. Our industry is very stressful, so selling looks better to me than trying to buy dad out and go on. I just want a clean break from everything.
I just don't understand why my dad won't help himself. He says he isn't depressed. He stops medicines without any reason to, and then gets worse. He is such a burden on both my mom and I. I love him dearly, but once you start repeatedly seeing a loved one not help themselves it gets very discouraging.
I have a very good therapist that I see sometimes, and I'm going to start sessions dealing with this for me in a couple weeks. But I just can't hold this all inside. Every time my dad comes off as completely depressed I see myself fall into a depression too... because I'm so tied to him at the moment with our work.