Posted 5/10/2014 8:32 PM (GMT 0)
WAS doing better. even showered and took out the garbage today. went for a short walk w/ my parents by the lake. then i came home.
"friend" just called. i didn't answer. why....just a lot of mixed up feelings i guess. still feel hurt that i was told that i'm basically the lowest, least trusted, least important friend of theirs. i know my friend was very sick at the time, but it still hurts. message left says they are doing better, but still not good. i feel pretty selfish too....i couldn't be bothered to leave my own depression to offer support to a friend. i really am a jerk. worthless and pathetic.
honestly not sure what to do. i am not a good person. even on here, all i do is bring other people down. people who are trying to help. i do want help, i do. but maybe it would be better if people just let me go.
gonna go try to sleep, just need to escape.