Having a rough day...

It's hard to accept the limitations that health issues can put on you. I struggle with it, too. I loved my work and had plans to become an advanced nursing practitioner. Now that just isn't a possible scenario.

You haven't just given up. I really admire how hard you have been working to find a way to have a career on your field despite health problems. It may not seem like it uti think you've accomplished a lot since your big move. Good teachers are getting harder to find and you obviously care about the students. You are still contributing.

Hi Myself,

I know that feeling too. We do grieve our past to an extent. But instead of looking at it as a door closing, look at it as a new chapter in your life. As ambitious as you are, you are going to find something even more fulfilling to enjoy and do. I have faith in that.

I still have yet to find something to make me feel worth while. I miss being able to do all the things that I use to. But I try not to think about it, though I have, and a lot. But I guess we have to dust out the cobwebs and put a new finish on things. Hang in there sweetie...

I hope that your day gets better.

I know I am forgetting something that I wanted to say and that bugs the crap out of me. Maybe I will think of it and can add to this post.

I found I was very good at secretarial work. It came to me. I love to type, but never wanted to have to sit behind a desk for 8 hours a day. And look at what I do now, and don't get paid for it. LOL... Life is strange...

Hugs, Karen...

Oh myself-

When I got moved three years ago from the general classroom to the special education dept, I went through these exact feelings. I wasn't living up to my potential, I had a lot of self doubt because my passion was ripped away from me. Unlike you, I was completely jealous of my co workers. I was in there classrooms everyday and they were the teachers-I wasn't anymore. Six times a day, I was slapped in the face as I moved each class period.

My depression hit an all time record low with me considering the worst. I was so angry at every one and every thing. Looking back, I literally went through every stage of the grieving process.

Now that I'm returning to the gen ed classroom, I've spent a lot if time reflecting. I didn't know it, but I needed the break. My life had to take other turns and twists. I had to learn and grow.

In retrospect, the last three years were the best of my life even though a lot of negative things occurred.

I will not be the same person when I step back into the classroom in the fall. I'm older, I have more health issues- heck I worry I won't have the stamina anymore. But the knowledge, wisdom and strengthen I've gained will make up for the other stuff.

What I read is that you don't feel like you are making a difference. I didn't think I was either.

Listen and listen good- you make a difference every single day when you enter the classroom. The impact you are making is so enormous. Ask my son who his favorite elementary school teacher is and he will say "mrs Robin". She was a sub that worked as often as she could.

You are gaining wisdom and knowledge and you will bring that with you no matter where you go. Don't doubt yourself or your future. You are strong and it is bright!!

I hoped this helped. Sending hugs!!

I worked for a few months a few years back. I loved it. But I couldn't do it all the time. Was thinking about working a little this summer to have Christmas money for the grandkids. I am a little scared that I couldn't do it, but I can always quit I guess.

You will learn the new you. You will turn a corner and things will be different. But it will be you. Hang in there, try not to have regrets, try not to worry. Things will work out, they always do...

Hugs, Karen...

Karen - can you possibly work online? And your hours could be flexible??

Just have to add, Karen -- I think you are "using your brain" a lot with your work here. Your brain and your heart. You may not be paid but the good you do is immeasurable.
Hope

Hello Myself ......

   It's time to admit that for 22+ years, my little business was the most important thing in my life. It is what I lived for. For much of that time, I had the typical joint parenting with my youngest - and for just a few years with my oldest.

   Both of my kids have seriously good work aspirations - thanks to their mother and to me both. Now ... back to business.

   I was lucky enough to do daily what i loved to do. As a one-person office of architecture, I never worked on any famous projects - but what i did daily, was to bring me to the table with a client - to review the needs (and every project was different) of that client. Then - to come up with a solution that "had to" usually satisfy the wife and the husband. It was a challenge I loved and was good at.

   Three hundred clients later, I was hospitalized for 14-days. During that time, I realized my business was over. Besides the horrible economy, that was annually chipping away at my needed cash flow for several years, it became apparent to me that I could no longer physically handle all of the stress and long hours.

   That was about 3-1/2 years ago. I still think about my former business often. I searched for most of those 3-1/2 years for something that would give me a sense of accomplishment.

   I tried hobbies that were on the back-burner for decades. There was some fun, but none of those hobbies could fill the hole left from my business - and one hobby after another was left or put back on the back-burner.

   When I first came here to HW, about a year ago, I wrote often about the need to "have a sense of purpose" in life. I still feel very strongly about that.

   Without offending anyone, I believe most of us reach a major decision time in our lives about "sense of purpose" by the time we reach our 40's! It certainly happened to my wife - and led to the divorce. And, it was in my 40's that I decided I didn't want anyone else (like a boss) to be in the position of determining my future - either growth or demise!

  

   I trust what you're going thru is the frustration of not being where you either were once - or expected to be by now. We all have our own paths to find .... and i certainly hope that you find internal peace with where you are. You certainly are trying to improve your own situation in finding an acceptable "sense of purpose" in life.

   Keep trying. It will come.

Peace and wellness

Rob & Gizmo