Don't know

I woke up this morning crying, remembering my past and reliving it in a dream. I though I was over it and free, why does it still haunt me. I'm so tired of waking up and crying, I just want to be free of my past. Free of my brothers. In my real life I'm far away from them and I have a good life now and I have asked for forgiveness for them and for me to be able to forgive them. Will I ever be free...I would get hit and picked on at the bus stop by my older brother and when he left the neighbor kid kept it up and then when I graduated high school I though things would be over but then my young brothers started into it, I was almost killed once because I had to study for a tests and turned down the radio which my brother was blaring and he grabbed my neck and through me down the front door step, I just ran outta there...part of the reason I got married was to get away from all that and it's haunting me again, I can't type this without tears...I do not want to devote my time to these thoughts, help...help....

Hi Chartreux,

I so similar to Michele, I put up a mental stop sign, it makes the thoughts go away. I know how it feels to have a dream stick with you though. Don't give up. Keep trying, you will beat this...

Hugs, Karen...

I did have an opportunity in high school once: as I got called in because I fell on my knee on some ice, counsellor called me to his office and I just wasn't strong enough or had enough faith to say anything so I just kept quiet, always the quiet one.

I will try those mental block, my friends, thank you, Thank you.

Chartreux,

I understand, I was always quiet too, when I was young I hardly spoke and now I know it was from trauma.

Peace....

Thank you, I have a call out to my counsellor and hope to stop waking up crying soon...The past is gone and done, I need to move forwards...

Thundercloud it took me years trying to move on and I still have problems when around people, I tend to shy away from people as mostly guys still scare me, considering the heck my brother put me through...I've only ever met a few good guys. I still from time to time hide behind my husband and that's usually his cue to get me home...Went to "The Avengers" movie on opening weekend and it was almost too much for me...

Thank you Jamiee...

I had a bad childhood/young adulthood to put it mildly, so I understand.

I wish I had magic words for you. But I can say that I feel your pain and wish you strength.

Hugs.

So glad you are feeling a bit better. This sounds like a healthy pattern, crying, ruminating then seeing the brighter reality after some rest.

Peace and comfort
Trina

Had another nightmare last night and woke screaming "NO", except this time is was my brothers abusing me again and my husband was off, because of a military call up so I was alone with no one to help me against my brothers assaults, it was horrible and has left me shaken and so very tired...I just hope this'll end soon...2 doctor's appointments this week and a x-ray are on my schedule...gotta focus on something else...

Gonna try thinking on getting that spa I want and hope that'll keep my mind busy...My two choices are the Hot Springs NXT Jet Setter (they are running a sale on it) and The Sundance 880 series Capri...Both are 3 person spas and will fit me good and hubby so so...Will compile my pro and con's lists and hope 4th of July sales will be going on...these things are expensive....
Finger's crossed...

Thank you so much Karen- getting by, have a great week...

Thank you Chartreux. I hope you have a good week too. Awesome for the spa...

Hugs, Karen...

Thinking about the spa has given me a break from the nightmares...let's hope it's a long lasting break. Physical therapy started easy today, so we'll see how that goes, she was able to strech my neck okay, but the second things we had to stop because it caused me pain, so she said we'd have to work on that area to loosen it up. So I'm a little sore.
Thank you Thundercloud , gettingby and Happy Turtle/ Jamiee...your helping me and I thank you so much...

no worries mate. you are always there for me and others on the forum. keep strong. here for ya.