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Posted 7/1/2014 1:41 AM (GMT 0)
I'm feeling really down today. I saw one of my grown kids today and wasn't ready for her to decide she wanted to talk. She wants to know why I'm not putting on my "big girl panties" and getting a job (my therapist says I'm not ready to get a job). I'm having cognitive, physical and emotional issues. According to her, I should just research why I have depression (& fibromyalgia) and heal myself holistically (like she's trying to do with her depression). She thinks depression meds won't help and just make your body sicker.

I'd like to know where she got her professional mental license. My depression has gotten worse over time and it's hard to just get up. I feel so alone with all of this and the family situation just makes my depression worse. If I told her how bad my depression really is, I think she'd just get more angry. I try to use coping skills, but am having a really hard time in getting them to work.

I know I shouldn't be, but I'm embarrassed & feel guilty that I have depression, especially since I see it going thru the family, including her and her brother. I think it's still a taboo subject for people to have & talk about mental illness. Seems to me that people are talking about it sometimes just to be politically correct.

Just to make it worse, she brought up my past mistakes and isn't sure she wants to or how to proceed with mending our relationship. So I'm working harder on accepting this.

I'm going to try to get an appt. with my therapist this week, but he might be all booked up. Thanks for listening because I needed to get this out. I'm sorry we have depression, but I'm glad I'm not alone.

Post Edited (Kate S) : 6/30/2014 7:54:53 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 7/1/2014 6:21 AM (GMT 0)
I wanted to let you know that you are not alone in how you are feeling or what you are going through. I feel the same way you do, alone. I also feel a lot of guilt and embarrassment for having depression, anxiety & PTSD. I've had people tell me that I need to get over it or just let the past go or I've always heard a lot over the years that I want to be depressed because I don't do things to relax like drink alcohol or smoke.

I'm glad that you are trying to use your coping skills and going to try to get an appointment with your therapist this week those things will really help you. I don't always really know the best things to say but just in case it helps you to know that you are not alone I wanted to reply.
Posted 7/1/2014 9:40 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Kate,

I am sorry your family isn't supportive, but in reality, we only have ourselves to count on. I am so happy you are making that appointment.

You can work on coping skills in the meantime. Such as breathing exercises and mindfulness. These things along with medication and therapy really do help.

We have a book club, I don't know if you read that thread or not. We are reading a small book right now on mindfulness. It might help to get that book and join in. It really does start within ourselves. I hope you join us.

Take care and have a good day today...

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 7/1/2014 11:50 AM (GMT 0)
My "mother" and Father were the same way. One simply does not discuss mental health issues. Well, come to think of it, even physical issues were rather taboo to everyone, extended,....except my Father. (Which is why HIS history is the only family history I've been made aware of).

Some families are just secretive and it may have to do with what generation they were brought up in, or parents or grandparents, whoever or whatever influenced their lives....

I'm fortunate to have a Husband and in-laws who are wonderful...and I've learned (but it took me decades) that I need to rely on myself and not look to parents for acceptance or support. I chased that dream. It's a dead end.

Honest, medication and therapy, things like mindfulness and....FUN! Yes, humour plays a big part. Reaching out for your own friends, your own support circle.

The people we think *should* care, sometimes simply don't. We won't change them. We can only change our selves and our attitudes! :)






M.
Posted 7/1/2014 3:44 PM (GMT 0)
Kate,

Welcome to the forum.

you are not alone.

It takes time to learn and use skills. Please do not give up. give yourself time to make them part of your daily life.

The book we are currently reading is HOW TO TRAIN A WILD ELEPHANT. You can get a copy at your local library if you do not want to buy one. Although I find my copy a wonder reference when needing a mindful skill.

Family can be difficult and as you see, we all have some issues. My whole blood family has shunned me. So be it. You can not
change how people react to you. You can only change how you react to other people. Once you have that under control, it becomes much easier.

So glad you are reaching out to your therapist, good job.

Peace
Trina
Posted 7/1/2014 8:38 PM (GMT 0)
I'm sorry you're feeling this way.  Your daughter may still be idealistic in many ways and as she matures come to be much more understanding and gracious.  In the meantime, don't let her judgment of you or opinions get you down.  There are people out there who actually can treat their depression with holistic mean only, but that's just not true for everyone.  You know what you need, and your daughter will likely later come to understand you better and maybe even ask forgiveness for things she's said.  In the meantime, hang in there and continue getting better.  HUGS and blessings to you!
Posted 7/1/2014 10:47 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you all for your responses. It helps more than I had realized to post here. I saw my therapist today. He suggested I not sever ties with my kids. He also said what you said, that I shouldn't listen to her opinions of me.

Heartfelt, thank you for letting me know I’m not alone. You said just what I needed to hear.

I’m not sure about a book club right now. I have several books to read and can’t concentrate on any of them.

Thanks so much!

Post Edited (Kate S) : 7/2/2014 7:23:30 PM (GMT-6)

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