Anti-depressants and Mood Stablizers

Sean,

The Xanax just takes the edge off. It doesn't make me feel drugged at all. I take a low dose, .25mg, usually twice/day. I've been clipping a bit of the pill off at night bc thank God my sleep hasn't been affected. I USED to b a night owl before all of this. Now I'm asleep by 11pm & up around 5-6am. I used to drink a lot of coffee before this too. I'll occasionally have a diet soda w/caffeine but essentially I'm done w/it for now. (Btw, February is when all my crap happened too. Stupid February! ). I too have tried several meds to addon to the one I've taken for 6 yrs but it wasn't working so I'm almost exactly in the same boat in terms of timing with when it started AND the timing of us both starting of our meds. (June 16 for me).

My dear friend is 45 & just went on AD's for the first time ever for anxiety & the beginnings of depression. (She'd never had a panic attack before now, lucky girl)! Her NP put her on Lexapro and by day 4 she's was feeling so good already. I was happy but also sort of envious bc of her quick response to her med.

Anyway, like Thundercloud said, you ARE strong even tho it doesn't feel like it. The fact you're talking about and getting help and calling your doctor is huge. It just goes to show how much you want to get better and you will. Especially with that attitude.

Hope your night is going well. If I recall, you're in Great Britain? It's 8:42 pm where I live in Ft Wayne, Indiana.

Sending you peace and comfort.

Lisa

Hi Karen,

Yes I did the gig on Friday but felt so weird after it, even during it I felt weird too. I think the Lorazapam helps with the anxiety and that keeps depersonalization not as bad but I am just so tired of all this now and want an end. I keep seeing people doing happy things like getting married, going to parties, having babies and I am stuck here looking for a light that does not seem to exist anymore for me.

My biggest fear is just slipping into an unknown world in my mind and not being able to get back to the reality that I once had.

Fear is such a horrible thing x

I would like to live in the country or near the seaside because living in London for me is so stressful, there is too much crime, traffic, buildings and everything costs so much so it is no wonder people get depressed here lol

I kinda know I am not going crazy because I know what is going on and my thoughts are still the same to what they was before I had this relapse but its just this depersonlization that is having a bad effect on me because it makes me feel unreal and also like my thought process is alien to me even though it is still the same as it always was.

I have only been on 40 mg since last Monday so it has been a week now, it gives me hope that you say it took your friend a month to see the light because I perhaps have something to look forward to :)

I normally find it hard to watch movies because my attention keeps reverting back to how I am feeling and then I have anxiety from that so I dont pay attention to what is going on in the film but the one I watched last night was really nice because I am a Christian but I lack in faith and belief so that kinda helped me a bit.

I am 34 Lisa.....like you I dont look or feel old and have so much love to give and I just hope I get the chance to give it otherwise it will be such a waste of life. If I get through this, than I want to help people get through what we are going through because I do not wish for anyone to suffer when they don't have to.

Sean-

I have to correct you if I may- you already ARE helping others. Just by sharing your story and always taking time to ask others how they are, you already ARE not only helping yourself but others. When you get out of this blip on your map of life, you will be able to help other perhaps in the way you think is more helpful but please don't underestimate what you are doing now. It may not feel like you want it to right now but it will & you are already a step above the game by helping in the midst of your storm!

Blessings!!

Lisa

Aw thanks guys I really appreciate your help and advice, Karen I was doing mindfullness every for a bit but then the anxiety got too much and I could not force myself to do it.

Today does not seem such a bad day for anxiety and I am hoping that I am at the tail end of the side effects from the Prozac with any luck.

I want to to be able to help more people that are suffering with this, to look them in the eye and tell them everything is going to be okay because right now there is a lot of doctors out there that just don't seem to care.

I hope everyone is having a lovely weekend.

Kind regards

Sean

Oh by the way Lisa I am going to get a tattoo on my arm with the words - Hope - Peace - Love ...I was going to have comfort but opted for love instead lol

Hey Happy Turtle,

How you feeling today?

Sean

Hey Sean,

Love the idea of the tatoo!

How are you feeling today?

Y'know I am practicing mindfulness, quiet often my mind does not stay focused but I try to bring it back and keep on trying, got some books on it from the library, all very interesting.

Sean, out of great despair positive things have happened, people have gone on to become therapists so they can help others, I also see you as a teacher here, others will read your posts, feeling desperate and frightened but know they are not alone with all this.

I used to feel the same way watching movies, the movie would be playing but I'd drift off thinking about other things, now I can really focus and enjoy the movie so it will come for you too.

34 is young!! I actually felt my very best physically at age 35. You have lot's of time in front of you :)

Hope you are okay today.

Hi Karen!!

I need to get back to the mindfulness soon, today wasnt such a good day although I did go out and about and get a few things done which I would not have been able to do a while back. Feeling really anxious right now, that would be normal thought wouldnt it as my dose of Prozac was only doubled less than a week ago?