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****complete MELTDOWN this morning****

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Posted 7/3/2014 4:41 PM (GMT 0)
I've been off Celexa for 3 months. I thought I was "fine", so after taking it for 4 years, I weaned myself off it. The last 2 months have been hell. I've struggled with getting out of bed and going to work. I can't focus at work, can't make a decision, can't think straight. Can't clean my house, can't decide what to cook for dinner... Couldn't go to sleep until 3 a.m. and then would have to wake up at 6 and do it all over again. I kept saying how proud I was of myself for getting off the meds, blah blah blah thinking that all the feelings of "blackness" would go away.

Last night, my husband told me that for the past 2 months he would rather be at work than at home. He told me I was not the person he married (this is the first time he's seen me off meds). He said he loved me and had no intentions of leaving me, but he told me he couldn't take the moodiness, anger and crying anymore and something had to change. He slept on the couch....

On the way to work this morning, I called him to just say how sorry I was for everything and that I'm getting back on my meds TODAY. During the course of that conversation (he was coming down on me for some horrible things I said to him last night), I had a complete MELTDOWN. I couldn't stop crying, I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown. I have no idea how I'm sitting in my office at work right now. I have done nothing but stare at the computer and move papers around for 4 hours.

I guess I'm just venting....thanks for reading.

Posted 7/3/2014 5:01 PM (GMT 0)
Well, I think you might want to call your doc and explain what happened and go in for an appointment. Just to be sure.

Going on and off meds can trigger all kinds of stuff. The doc may want to put you on a mood stabilizer for a bit, just to help you along.

I do hope you are feeling better soon.

Peace
Trina
Posted 7/3/2014 5:29 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Lei,

I have been on meds for probably 25 years. I know that when I feel good, it is the meds working. I did the same as you once and it was one of my worst decisions. I was back on them as soon as I could.

Talk to the doc. Like Trina said, maybe just a mood stabilizer is all you need. But if you need the medications, it isn't a bad thing. It is just the way that it is.

Keep posting, it helps.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 7/3/2014 6:05 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Lei,

I'm sorry that you are having a bad day and I'm so glad that you decided to go back on your meds today. This will be the best thing for you so you can feel better. Instead of being proud of yourself for getting off the meds, be proud of yourself for taking your meds and doing what you need to do to feel good. I won't lie I have done the same thing many, many times. I've been on meds since a very young age and there have been times when I was feeling pretty good but I didn't think it was because of he meds in my mind I thought it was because my major depression, anxiety and ptsd was gone and usually within a couple of months or when a holiday would come I would hit rock bottom and wind up in the hospital. I guess I was thinking that I've seen others get off meds so I thought I could too but I had to learn that everyone's illness is different.

I think you a very strong, you were able to still go in to work and you made the decision to get back on your meds on your own. I'm glad you have a husband that loves you and you were able to talk about your feelings with him and he was able to talk about his. There are a lot of positives going on and I'm hoping that you feel better soon.
Posted 7/3/2014 6:23 PM (GMT 0)
Lei - I mostly have anxiety with some depression. I was on Lexapro for about 2 years around 4 years ago. I weaned off and have taken Sam-E ever since. I changed careers last year and my current job is very high stress and added on top of that, I am working for family, which adds an extreme amount of stress to the situation. The Sam-E is not working as well as I was hoping. It helps with mood stability and depression but does nothing for my anxiety.

I am quick to anger, so stressed out, have no coping mechanisms and when I get into that space of overwhelmed, it is SO difficult for me to dig out. I was on vacation recently and a complete ball of anxiety the whole time.

So I went to the doc last week and asked to go back onto Lexapro. He also gave me .5 mg of Xanax that I have been taking for the last week. I have hesitated on starting the Lexapro. I really don't want to take it and am dreading the side effects, but I need to do what's right. So I'm in the same boat as you - have to do what you have to do. I hope that things work out and get better. Keep us updated.
Posted 7/3/2014 9:58 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Lei,

Definitely go see your Dr, I decided one time that I was doing so well so stopped my AD and went nuts, cried all the time, shouted, couldn't function at all, it was a nightmare, coming off them can do all kinds of things to you, not good.

I'd talk to your Dr and let him know what's happening, I so hope you feel better, it's just awful right now for you but will get better, please take good care of yourself.
Posted 7/4/2014 1:26 AM (GMT 0)
AubreyBear,

Just wanted to let you know from what I have read here, Lexapro kind of has the least amount of side effects. And the people that have taken it, well, most of them said it worked good for them. You may want to give it a try. Just a thought. I hope that the Xanax is working for you...

Hugs, Karen...
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