Daily Check In Thread For All!!! #94

I sent an email today. I decided instead of being passive aggressive I was going to just put it all out there. After none of my family showing up at the kids party (except my grandmother and my sisters kids), they never answer phone calls or texts, and for special holidays I have to call them to find out what the plans are, I'm feeling very unsupported and alone. I told them I wasn't trying to hurt anyones feelings or be accusatory. I feel unimportant.

One aunt said she has a busy life and wants to relax. She says she thinks I'm being silly. Then mentioned that I never showed up for a family reunion this weekend. I was never informed that there was a reunion. Another aunt says I should just keep calling that they will be there when ineed them. My uncle invited me over for dinner. His health is poor and he said most of the family never invites him anywhere because of his health. I feel bad for not checking on him more.

So, out of my mothers surviving 6 siblings I got 3 resonses. I don't know if I'm being silly. I have tried to reach out but they are too busy for me. At thus juncture I feel alone, uncared for, and belittled. Sorry, I've been trying to stay upbeat but I guess it all just bubbled up. I'll be back to regular programming tomorrow.

Hi All. I hope everybody enjoyed their extra long holiday weekend. I thought of all of you and your virtual party as I cut up a watermelon on Saturday morning.

I didn't do anything exciting for myself. I basically spent the week-end watching television, House episodes to be exact.

I hope you all have a wonderful evening.
Cass

Ok peeps, after much research I've discovered that not all men on farmersonly.com are actual cowboys!! Yes Rob looking for that boot wearing, wrangler wearing, truck driving cowboy. No I'm not ready to throw my hat in the ring yet. But I did chat with a few who posted pics of their boots, dogs and trucks. Must be real cowboys, right? ****

One thing I forgot to mention is that when I was on my way to trade in my car, I heard the perfect song- I've got one more problem without you, hmmm... Who was that referring to? Lol!

I used to listen to music all the time. All kinds. Tonight I rediscovered it. Music totally expresses my emotions. I've taken so many good memories down memory lane tonight.

I hope everyone has a great Monday!

Hello all of my friends,

Well I have been for some time. Things have been crazy busy for me. Well looks like I have missed a 4th party on here, dang!!!!

I am not sure who has what going on as my computer is being a booty head and the pop ups are killing the reading progress, so I hope that all is well and everyone gets and stays well.

The heat here in Cali has been killer and we have just started summer. 100+ all last week and this week will be just as hot.

I have been super busy with my sons baseball games and all so that keeps me tired as all get out.

the comp is acting up again I have to fix it more from me when I can

Good Morning Everyone,

I agree with you all. Music expresses emotions. There is quote that I'm sure you all heard, "Where words fail, music speaks."

MissJD: We missed you. Hope your comp get sorted out.

AV: I'm sorry for the way your family is acting. Sometimes, blood family are never there when you need them. I don't know why they behave this way at times. Nevertheless, you always have us.

Trina: Glad Alley is better.

Michele: I've never seen The Golden Girls. I will watch them soon. Only recently I heard about and watched That 70's Show.

Myself: Hope you had a nice grill meal.

Rob: I'm 5' 11''. I've never been call beanpole though. Those rude guys on the streets would just use 'Slim'.

Karen: Me too. I wonder if they're okay as well. Hope CHotti is ok.

JB, Wala, Jamie, Everyone-hello.

I might be taking one week vacation starting next Monday. Not looking forward to it. But I will like to sleep late though.

Wishing everyone a good day!

UA

Karen, since I was 13, everyone has been telling me that. My mother, aunts, cousins (including cousins from Canada who I only met once), co-workers, etc...).

Have a good day! Hope you get the laundry done.

UA

Music sure does have its emotions and ups and downs with them as well, so be careful what you listen to.

Doing better and have help with the nightmares, it'll take time I guess, but they are doing better, last night no nightmares...nice to actually get some rests...hope this takes a turn for the better...

Rob: Volleyball? Nope, never play volleyball in my life but it looks fun. I played lawn tennis, netball and cricket in school.

AV: Don't be jealous. Being tall has its disadvantages too. Sometimes you may hit your head in places if you don't duck. We have a walkway under a step at home that around 5' and some inches. I used to regularly hit my head there when I was younger.
Good Luck with the interview! Let us know how it goes.

UA

Karen, sing it loud, sing it proud- " I've got one less problem without you" put on those heels and shake it girl!!

I think if you look at all of our personalities, you'd see that we are all givers. Maybe that's part of our depression..... People screw us. Heck I don't know.

I'm obviously the type of people pleaser that instantly gives you respect. When you screw it up, well, heck, I'm so kind hearted that I'll give you a zillion more chances. That's what I'm working on. I don't want to change, just need to modify the edges.

It's only the first official day of summer and I'm worried. I need a schedule. No schedule for me equals likely chance of seeping into a depression...

Well, I'm off to have food (yes, Mexican Rob! Is there anything else?) and a couple of drinks..... With the girls! No cowboys yet! Lol

My love to all!

Hi Everyone.

Karen: The timing of your post that talks about standing up for ourselves and protecting ourselves; is a little ironic for me tonight. I had a therapy session after work today that was intense and it was about this very same topic. My therapist made it very clear that a choice I have made about letting a certain individual into my life was not the best as I could certainly be treated a lot better and with a lot more respect. She does not feel it will be healthy for me to associate with this person in the long run.

Standing up for myself has always been something that I have not been good at. I think like you and Michele have been discussing I like to be a people pleaser. How did you finally decide that your friend wasn't a true friend anymore and get up the courage to tell him/her?

Rob: I'm glad that you were able to eat a full meal of the lobster bisque. And I hope your appointment with your nurse practitioner goes well tomorrow.

Cass

Post Edited (CassandraLee) : 7/7/2014 8:31:05 PM (GMT-6)

Hi Everyone,

I don't usually post in the daily thread because I don't feel like I have anything really upbeat to share right now but I just wanted respond to a couple of posts.

Angelic_Victory: Your post really shows me how people can stand up for themselves and speak up for themselves. I thought that was so great the way you sent e-mails to your family telling them how you feel. I know how it feels to feel alone, uncared for and belittled. I also know what's it's like to be passive aggressive but you did the opposite of that and decided to speak up. I hope you are very proud of yourself that took a lot of strength.

Karen: I also liked your post my therapist has been talking to me about what she feels is a toxic friend and I guess I word it like that because I kinda know she's toxic but I'm always hoping she'll change and with me not having family sometimes it's really hard to cut off friendships. I think I tend to do a lot for others because I know what it feels like not to have anybody to help me or how it feels to be alone or need someone and no one is there. My therapist says she thinks I do way too many favors for people considering that I cannot get the same in return so that's where the little self esteem struggle also comes in a little. I've always had a big heart, I've always helped others, I do think maybe at times I do too much and I don't say no or stand up for myself. I just never want anyone to feel like I do so I don't mind helping others but at the end of the night it does hurt to get used or taken advantage of.

I would also love to know how did you decide that your friend was toxic? How long did you feel like this friend was toxic and how were you able to let go? Is it easier because you have other support/family/friends?

Nice to see u r all here for each other. What a great group ....

I am back been gone over a week and had to reset my password..

I guess u thought I'd gone fishin with Karen at the river fell in or something. In after thought I should have posted a "Out to Lunch" at the very least.
Sorry I didn't know I would be gone longer than a few days. I guess I owe y'all, my special friends a explanation. Not that interesting a story ...

I don't know where to start so I'll start in the middle. And as u all knows I'm a garden gal & a bit of a cowgirl...with brown scootin boots...nothin fancy? Great chaps though! Thats were I've been well sorta...

Forensic time line missing from last week of June till July 7...
Due to a short dry season here in my neck of the woods time to do repairs from long rainy soggy winters is short. Leaks in roofs, barn,home,shed...power wash everything that doesn't move. Just removing that ugly green gue moss that grows everywhere even between UR toes if u stand in one place long enough and mabe even an occasional dog.... hehe...if they dare to come within 20 yards. LOL ....Here in the Pacific NW the color green gets old really fast. I was mindful of removing all the moss with the pressure washer, "Like it was never there".. Does that count on the practice points in the how to train...book..on Mindfulness ....do not leave a trace it was anywhere....?
Even though I have help I still supervise. I still feel the buzz in my elbows from the power washer. Z-zzzz will it ever STOP?

Somewhere thru all of this a group of my garden club buddies r working diligently in my garden to make it presentable according to the RULE BOOK, for the yearly garden tour. more competition with other garden. ...Purpoise spelled on purpoise... To raise money for community projects. Ahhh .. Isn't that special...This was a organizing challenge. Trying to wrangle the weeders, the pickers, the dead headers, labelers & the clipperers , a lot ..."Like herding cats"... OMG! It's still a work in progress...Margaritas really helped.

July 4 th is a tradition we all haul the horses down to town for the..." 4th of July Parade". The preparation for this is well like herding cats! All the horses have to be squeaky clean , clean shaven no whiskers, in full gear & costume...riders too. Well mabe not the whiskers part in some cases... This is competition .. Serious stuff...we came in third only cuz we waited so long before we started the horses ate each other's flowers off the horses next to them.. That was minus 29 pts. Horses are vegetarians get bored easily have the attention span of a 2 yr. olds & always hungry. Then there was the issues with the &:%# Bag pipes band. Well let's just say bag pipe music in UR face literally and horses don't mix..
Lost another 15 pts. Horses balking at movin foreword...well hello a bag pipe band? I'd balk at the sound alone not to mention the scary men in skirts. Dear
Lordy ,Lordy...
We were a team & had on our matching red, white & blue stars & stripped shirts..with matching red chaps. OMG! That was a plus 54 points..it was a blast...F-15 fly over and all. Then Party if u can...

Hope everyone had a great 4th go July ..fireworks.. Hotdogs the whole 9 yards.
Then well Happy T , u too...think summer...Buttons can get right out for potty breaks...no waiting for rain breaks!

The night of the 4th a couple of my neighbors $20,000 Friesians got out with their 3 prized arabians. The dot com millionaires from the 90's in their Mc Mansion barns, fancy bred imported horses with fancy indoor arenas ... Fireworks the culprit blamed for their escape. Next morning I found them in my barn mooching out of the grain barrels, lids chewed off. Tore thru 500' of hot wire fencing posts & all. Got them all back home safely. However, I had to call the vet. One of the visiting moochers bit one of my horses 13 stitches later, my neighbor paid the vet.& for the fence ....gotta luv country folks.

Back to the barn ... Before the barn & the bitting incident..the first sign the hot fence was down in the pasture was at 6 am I was in the kitchen stumbling around at the coffee maker turned to the sink for water and there was Yankee, (Tennessee Walker), starring back at me thru my kitchen window. Gently peeking round humming bird feeders sporting his constant look that clearly said, "Get the heck out here where's my food...??? HE's 33 years old & quite the character. How a 1600 # horse walked under the gate arch to the front porch then without knocking over one of my prized flower pots, was short of having eyes in his well...rear.. A gentle giant ..maneuvering in a paper bag. Gotta luv it!

Then yesterday we spotted a cougar a young one trotting up the driveway in broad daylight..No doubt the fireworks proved the yearly usual scaring the wild life out of hiding.Then the wild life dept set up live traps to do a catch release . Far, far, away...up the Mtn release...

That's the short version. I tried to keep it simple.. There are still tons of Power washing, and repairs not to mention a sugar ant infestation that's driving me bonkers.

I have missed all of u very much. It's so nice to have comfort and support so easily approachable . Love this forum... so honestly I have not even come close to my I pad in several days. Thanks Karen for the head up.

I am still power washing trying to get the house ready for the painters. And hopefully and mindfully tomorrow my yellow covered pollen truck will be red again.. Pollen tornadoes , only in the NW.

Hope u r all well.. Happy ..and many blessing sent UR way...
((( hugs )))
Chotti

Thank you Chotti for posting...

You had a very interesting weekend indeed. How was the birthday???

I am so glad you captured the horses. Sounds kind of like one gave you a heads up anyway... lol...

I am still on my first cup of coffee. Will write more later...

Luv and hugs...

Karen...