New relationship depressed and anxious girlfriend

First of all, bravo to you for being so kind and understanding to her. The world needs more people like yourself. Please don't ever change that!

Secondly, I am almost 99% certain this is NOT about you or your relationship, but mostly ALL about the depression. My husband is a saint but during my yuck days in my recent struggles, I feel 0 romance towards him. I love him so so much but feel 0 desire for kisses or any sort of intimacy. I read somewhere recently that depression makes many people feel like they don't love or care for their significant other anymore and a lot of folks break up or divorce during someone's depression...that's nearly 99.9% of the depression talking IMHO. I believe it but if you want this to work, you're going to have to meet her where she's at emotionally and try your hardest to remember this is most likely her depression NOT you. My guess would be she feels just as rotten not being able to return the affection...

I've said "I'm sorry" idk how many times to hubby for "not being myself." He says "I'm not worried. I know you're struggling and this won't last. I married you for in good times & bad."

Maybe you could talk to her/lift any burdens she might be feeling for not being receptive or reciprocal to your affections.

You don't know, this could be what makes her absolutely fall in love with you once she's outta this funk. Nothing more love worthy than a partner or future partner, sticking with you and supporting you through your darkest times...

Lastly, sounds like she may need to to talk to her Dr about increasing or changing her meds. Maybe time will get her back out by why waste time. Gently suggest to her &/or her mother about meds to help her through this rough patch.

Best Wishes!

Lisa

Is she going to counseling at this time? If not, she might want to go back. Have you talked to her about how she is acting different? I mean, really sit down and talk about it.

I would contact her a little less, but make sure you let her know that you are doing just that. Make sure she knows to contact you if she needs to and that you are there for her.

If she is acting standoffish, she is probably feeling a little pressure from everybody. And guilty for being laid up from the surgery. Ask her if she is feeling that way, or better yet, let her know she isn't a burden in any way.

With the surgery, feeling guilty, everybody looking after her, she is probably depressed pretty much. I would be too. Let her know you would give her space if she wanted. Think of what she is going through. That way you will understand more. Put yourself in her shoes. Know that it probably isn't personal. Depressed people tend to want to be alone. Take it one day at a time.

That is about all we can do is one day at a time.

Hugs, Karen...