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Did you have steps back w/ anxiety & depression when starting a new AD that eventually worked?
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Posted 7/9/2014 6:39 PM (GMT 0)
I posted this in the anxiety forum too-

I'm week 3 into Pristiq 50mg. I also take 15mg buspar/day & .25 Xanax prn.

Today I've been plagued by anxiety & agitation. Been crying all day bc I'm scared. I want Pristiq to work. I'd been having better days/moments than not. I'm scared with the "what if Pristiq isn't working/what if it's making me worse?" :(

Has anyone had this issue and with more time on their new med, turned a corner & got better? I see my Pdoc next week for 1 month follow up.

Thanks for listening! ( in therapy btw, yoga 2-3x's/week, practicing breathing exercises and trying mindfulness & meditation). I've got great support and am doing my work. Just a but frustrated & scared with today's step back.

-Lisa
Posted 7/9/2014 6:47 PM (GMT 0)
Sometimes three weeks isn't enough. I think if you have had some good days, that is a good sign. They say it is always darkest before the dawn. But when you see the doc, tell him you don't feel good as of yet. He may want you to give it a little more time.

Keep using your coping skills. They will help you when you practice them. Especially the breathing exercises. It helps a lot with anxiety. I do them at the slightest hint of anxiety coming on. Remember, in through the nose and out through the mouth. It really does calm a person down. Especially me... Lately...

Know you aren't alone, we have all gone through the anxiety with the depression. It is difficult I know. The therapy helps a lot. I go every other month now. I have been going over 20 years. Not to the same person though. I have had a few different therapists. I have been lucky, all but two were and are good. It really helps to have the support of a therapist. Yoga awesome!!! I do a lot of walking for exercise, it is relaxing too.

Keep working on you. Be good to yourself.

I hope you have a good day. I hope that your day gets better. That is more realistic to this situation today. Days often turn themselves around...

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 7/9/2014 7:03 PM (GMT 0)
I'm in the same boat. For years when I was low I took lexapro and things got better. Now I'm on 3 meds and I don't feel like I've turned the corner. I feel like in still stick in the hole and the meds are just helping with sleep, but not anxiety or depression. I've talked to my doctor, but he says it takes time. I've been on them for 2 months and just started the lexapro again. Hope something in them works because I also wonder when to try something new.
Posted 7/9/2014 7:27 PM (GMT 0)
Thank-you Karen for the pep talk. I took a Xanax and am feeling better..lol. I take one in the morning at at night before bed. I've not had to take any during the day for several weeks. I was kind to myself & told myself it was ok to take one bc technically I'm prescribed 3/day (.25mg each).

It felt good to bawl too. I like to cry. I'm a crier (happy and sad crier hehe) & it's therapeutic to me. Sometimes when I'm anxious or depressed, it's hard to cry so when it comes, I take full advantage :)

Hawk- what meds were you on before starting the Lexapro? This "go around" w/me has been different than my past bouts (I'd had 3 before this in the past 21 yrs) bc the other times, I took a med and was better noticibly in a few weeks. The "down side" to meds working quickly in my past, I didn't take the time to really work on me in terms of exercise, really doing the homework of therapy, etc... This go around has been more challenging yet, in my gut, feel it may be worth it bc I'm actually doing the work (albeit hard some days) to create better habits & coping skills.

Hawk, I empathize. What I DO know is that 100% of the time I've had down times, I've recovered 100% of the time. We all have I think so the odds are pretty perfect we will again. (With those odds I really should play the lottery)! :-)

What I keep reminding myself is not WHEN I'll get better but WHAT will I learn from this. I've already learned more now than ever. I wish you peace today too and recovery soon. xoxo

Lisa
Posted 7/9/2014 7:37 PM (GMT 0)
Lisa:

Thanks for the feedback. I started on Seroqual/quetapine and Mertazipine 2 months ago. They work spoty and I've had to increase the dosage a couple times. I was on lexapro generic at first, but it tripped me out. Last week started back on name brand lexapro since that has worked in past and the other two drugs are not getting it done.

I hope I see signs of recovery soon, because I wake up each day worried.
Posted 7/9/2014 7:54 PM (GMT 0)
Hawk- what's your diagnosis? Is this an acute bout of anxiety/depression for you or something you've struggled with for years? How long back on the name brand Lexapro?

Do you have a significant other or family/frirnds supporting you through this rough patch? In therapy?

I understand abt medicine blips. I switched from my trusty Cymbakta after 5.5 yrs in January to Zoloft. Zoloft tripped me out as you said generic Lexapro did you. That was disappointing bc I have a cpl friends on it and it works very well for them.

Is your Dr a family phys or psychiatrist? Do you work? I'm a homemaker so I don't work outside the home. They can be a blessing or a curse. After I get better, I'm looking for a part time job. Been a homemaker for several years. Was great in the beginning but I need something more to occupy my time and build my confidence back up. I've always felt best emotionally when I was working or in school.

Peace to you!

Lisa
Posted 7/9/2014 8:03 PM (GMT 0)
Lisa:

Doctor says I have either Bipolar 2 or severe depression. I've been back on name brand lexapro only a week now. Hope it kicks in. I've had depression on and off for 10 years.

I have family and a significant other supporting me, but I feel I don't have the strength to support myself. It sucks that I can't change my own mood or get myself to have energy. I lay around and just nap and rest.

I work, but am off for the summer. I need to get this depression handled ASAP because work awaits. It's hard and I want to kick it.

How long have your episodes been? Do they com at the same time of year? Mine are summer mostly.
Posted 7/9/2014 8:24 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Lisa,

I'm sorry that you had a bit of a step back today. I actually have a lot of anxiety around starting new meds, wondering if they will work and when and wondering about the side affects. I have never taken a AD that worked right away, it's always been a few weeks for me to start feeling any difference and the time in between that, I was scared and cried at times. I've been on a lot of different meds since a very young age so I've had a lot of ups and down with meds for my mental illness.

I'm going through an extremely low rough patch right now and hoping things will turn around soon. I like the fact that you said you're doing the work to create better habits and coping skills. That is a very positive outlook on things and you sound very strong. You're thinking about what you will learn from this, I never really thought about things like that. You realize when you've felt best emotionally and you're striving for that feeling again. That is such a good thing I'm happy for you that you are able to realize these things.

I'm hoping that your rough afternoon turns into a much better evening.
Posted 7/9/2014 8:33 PM (GMT 0)
Hawk:

Are you a teacher by chance?

My episodes are random! Oct 1993, Dec 1995, April 2008 & this time February 2014. Mine all have stemmed I believe, by poor coping skills/stuffing scary or sad feelings away. I was a happy child & teenager w/a good life. The majority of me being an adult has been happy too (even with bad/sad things happening), on meds or not except for these bouts. When I went on Cymbalta in 2008, I stayed on it. It was the first time I'd ever stayed long term on a med. I had never anticipated poop out so it caught me by surprise.

My dx is MDD & GAD. No one in my immediate family has had this. I'm the youngest of 5. One of my nieces struggles & is on meds as does an uncle who has never been on meds.

Try hard to re-frame your thoughts when you beat yourself up for not being able to "snap outta this." That's like beating yourself up if you had a bad flu for not being to run 10 miles with the flu! Nearly impossible! What you can do, even if it doesn't feel like it helps and feels foreign and like it can't or won't help, is to practice stopping your negative thought. It's called reframing the thought. Replace it with a positive mantra like "I'm getting better and better every day" or "this too shall pass". You may have to say the positive manyyyyyyy times during the day & that's ok. And good. Like I said tho, and I'm reminding myself too as I tell you, many times when we're in a pit, it feels absolutely foreign to say nice things in our head. Just like with a flu it feel foreign to eat or drink but we must. If you have trouble, I've even written out a positive statement over and over & took up 4 pages of notebook paper in my journal.

Peace,

Lisa
Posted 7/9/2014 8:45 PM (GMT 0)
Heartfeltone:

I empathize! I wish there were anxiety/depression support groups in cities like there are AA meetings. AA has meetings at all times during the day and nights, & different locations like 7 days/week! I tried an intensive outpatient support group once. I felt very foreign in there and didn't like it. Plus it's about 25 minutes from my home and I get anxious driving/going places I'm not familiar with. Sigh! I've joked with my therapist that they need AA for ppl like us!
Posted 7/9/2014 9:05 PM (GMT 0)
Lesweet:

Yes I am a teacher and hav done it for years, but this year, new school, new kids, new classes, got to me and triggered this. I am trying to heal this summer, but it's been a month now and still feeling down, depressed, and worried. I haven't really left my house all week/month. I go to treatment and to do errands, but little pleasure.

I'm hoping pills will help, but it ha had little help. Also talk therapy ha only helped a little. I guess I need to be more positive but it's hard. Today, slept in and haven't eatten. No appetite. Looking for help, from others, but more myself.
Posted 7/10/2014 12:32 AM (GMT 0)
Hawk:

I'd give your doc a call & maybe they can up the dose or add or change it. There are many options. Do you use Facebook? There is a wonderful page on there called Begin With Yes. I look forward to the posts bc they encourage me. Also Mind Body Green. It helps when I look at & read positive things. I know it's hard to be positive but you must try, if only one positive thing a day until you're feeling better.

Can you walk? I started walking when my stuff started. Around my neighborhood. It helps.

Small steps, you're gonna be well soon enough. Start some good habits now, small ones. Commit to at least one positive thing/day and that could be just getting showered and your teeth brushed!

You're going to be ok, I promise.

Lisa
Posted 7/10/2014 1:14 AM (GMT 0)
Don't give up on talk therapy even if you're not feeling it helping right now (unless you don't connect with the therapist- you can always try another one if that's the case). I've been told by my therapist and a therapist personal friend if mine that therapy is important even when you're in the pits & not feeling it help right now. I too questioned it bc I'm like what's the point if it's not helping right now but it IS. May not reap the benefits til you get a but more out of the funk.

The goal is to continue to do things even when we hate it, resist it. THAT is us doing positive things in the midst of the storm. I read somewhere just stepping out your front door to breathe in some fresh air, or walking to your yard in bare feet for a min then going back in is huge even tho it doesn't seem like it. I make sure to get out every day even when all I wanna do is hide.

You keep talking here and to your people. Check out some positive websites. My email is available too if you wanna email me. I made a friend here and she's also a teacher. She's been where you are and me. I have 3 teacher friends I've known for years in person who've also had our struggles. You aren't alone and you will pull through. You're reaching out to therapists, doctors and here- you're on the right path.

Lisa
Posted 7/10/2014 1:48 AM (GMT 0)
Hawk eye,

I'm the teacher she referred to. Summers are the hardest thing I go thru. My email is under my profile. Email me if you want. I'll be glad to listen.

Hugs!!
Michele
Posted 7/10/2014 2:37 AM (GMT 0)
Lisa:

Thank you so much for the kind words. It has been a very bad period. At night, like now, I feel somewhat normal. Some appetite, some energy, and I can think. Morning and during the day right now, I am paralyzed by worry and depression. Feel so down and helpless and want to just curl up into a ball.

I have written down some positive thoughts, and I will again tonight, and look at them in the morning to try to inspire me to feel better in the morning. I try to walk a bit each day, but its gotten shorter as I feel worse. I know you have to force yourself to do it, but it is a mountain when you feel blue.

I agree, that when your blue and your talking to your therapist, you don't see it working. I am going to try to find positives in it, but it might be hard. I am also going to try my Lexapro in the morning, vs evening, and take my other meds that I have been on, at night. Hope that makes my sleep better and the Lexapro makes my morning better. Don't know, but its worth a try.

As a teacher, I shouldn't hate homework, but the cognitive exercises feel like such homework. I know they can be useful, but they feel so useless sometimes. Well I hope I feel better tomorrow morning.
Posted 7/10/2014 3:33 AM (GMT 0)
The cognitive exercises are brutal many times during "mental flu", just as exercising would be during a real flu virus. When you feel terrible from depression, physically, mentally, disconnected, "out of it", it's hard to make sense outta the little things let alone big things. It's the nature of the affliction. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. And I'm serious. And there are terrible ppl out there & I still wouldn't wish this suffering on anyone. Maybe it's bc I'm empathetic but it's pretty much rotten when you're in a pit.

Do you have anxiety too? If so, do you have any anti anxiety meds to take as needed? I'm "lucky" & have both. eyes I take Xanax during rough anxiety. It helps me and doesn't make me feel drugged or weird. I guess I'm lucky I never picked up drinking or drugs bc I despise feeling "out of control" & that's what anxiety and depression make me feel like.

I made note cards with positive affirmations and prayers (I have 4), that I taped to my bathroom mirror. I'm forced to look at it many times/day. Just an idea.

Don't beat yourself up for having a hard time with your homework. It is what it is right now. Like I said, baby steps. You aren't be graded so one step at a time.

Do email Michele if you'd like teacher to teacher support. She's "been there and done that."

Lisa
Posted 7/10/2014 6:28 PM (GMT 0)
sending many healing thoughts.
Posted 7/10/2014 7:17 PM (GMT 0)
Lisa:

I hope that talk therapy will help, as the meds haven't shown to be improving things. How often do you see a therapist? I want to do it every other week, but the mental health hospital is swamped and also the talk therapy doesn't seem to be working.

Today I switched my lexapro to the morning, and took my usual dosage before bed time. Felt a little better as I woke up, but very little better. Guess any improvement is something. I did get out of the house today, and am out right now trying be out side and get stuff done. How long was your longest spell of depression? Does the recovery go up and down for you too?

Thanks for talking.
Posted 7/10/2014 7:42 PM (GMT 0)
Hawk:

Are you in the United States? I don't do my therapy through a hospital, rather a private therapist that my insurance covers. I go once/week.

This is my longest bout. It's different bc this time was the only time I experienced "poop out" on a med as I'd never stayed on a med more than 6 months-year. My past episodes were quick recoveries bc the meds worked right away (within 2-4 weeks). My issues started last year with hypochondria after my best friend moved away. But- it wasn't "acute" bc I was still happy and normal feeling.

At Christmas, I was up all night Christmas Eve worrying about a health condition and on Christmas I was really down and blah. That's when I said ok, time to see doc for med changes. They switched me from Cymbalta (which worked a solid 5+ yrs til it pooped out) to Zoloft. Zoloft made me worse. That was mid February. So they put me back on Cymbalta and upped the dose from 60mg to 90mg. It made no difference. So then back down to 60mg and added Abilify for a month. No real difference. So off Abilify and added Buspar to the Cymbalta. Still no difference.

Finally, June 16 they switched me from Cymbalta to Pristiq & I've continued with the Buspar and all through this, Xanax .25mg 2/day or PRN.

I think I'm getting better but not confident yet to say for sure. It's been 3.5 weeks on Pristiq. I feel I'm having better days/nights/moments than not

Are you having anxiety too? If so, taking anything for it? The Xanax takes the edge off and doesn't make me feel weird or loopy.
Posted 7/10/2014 8:04 PM (GMT 0)
Lisa:

yes in the US and my insurance is through the hospital, so the mental health facility is one of their centers. They are just swamped with the amount of people now with the Affordable Care Act increasing their patients.

I am sorry to hear that you have been on so many different meds without affect. Thats horrible. I have been taking meds again since the first week of April. First one, generic of Lexapro tripped me out for a week. It was so bad. Then went to Seroquil/Quetipine which helped a little. Then it started to not work, and so they upped the dosage, worked for a week, then didnt, so they added Mertazipine. That got me up to last week. It had been 2 months and 1 month of those meds and they weren't really working. So got the doc to special request the name brand Lexapro and have been on that for a week. Not much help, and maybe making things worse, but its hard to tell. I just decided to take the Lexapro in the morning, hoping it will help with the day time blues.

So thats my story. I wish I knew if the meds are/will help and which ones are helping and which ones are not. I hear they will have tests for this by looking at fluid from your brain/spine, but when that will happen who knows.

Thanks for the support and talk.
Hawk
Posted 7/10/2014 8:20 PM (GMT 0)
How many times have you had these episodes? Were you lucky in the past and your med "just worked?" Is this time similar to past times?

How old are you and when were you dx as bipolar 2/severed depression? Is your doc a psych or family practitioner? When do you see doc next?
Posted 7/10/2014 8:34 PM (GMT 0)
Lisa:

I have had depressive episodes about 1x a year or 1x every other year for 10 years. I went on and off the meds. I can remember having like maybe 5 really bad episodes, but this year has been the longest. Each time I took Lexapro for about 6 months and it took care of it. I could focus, anxiety lessened, depression became less, and I could move forward. The depression was never debilitating like it is now. I feel like paralyzed, extremely tired and no appetite. I also sacred to leave my house, or can't get myself to do it. This is by far the worst.

When I went to see my psychiatrist this spring, he said I had developed BiPolar II. Said I don't have manic ups, but I do have manic depressive episodes. I have seen him almost weekly for the past month. I also email him, and he is good about responding. He says I should just stay the course on the meds and they will kick in. But they haven't. And my better states are short lived, always at night, and not that great.

Hawk
Posted 7/10/2014 8:57 PM (GMT 0)
Hawk:

Do you mind me asking your age? I'm 43. I've had the same episodes but my psychiatrist has only ever dx me with major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder. I went 10 yrs without any meds and was great minus a few panic attacks but nothing that lingered or triggered depression.

In 2008 I decided to just stay on meds. I knew abt poop out but didn't worry abt it. I will be a lifetimer on on meds and I'm ok with that.

Are you in the Midwest or east coast by chance? We had a HORRID winter and u know at least 4 ppl personally affected by it with what we are going through and were put on meds or had to switch or add meds. This year, honestly, seems to be kinda sucky forant of us that are sensitive. Someone told me there are 4 planets alined right now and that that only happens every 84 years & a LOT of ppl are feeling effects of this with emotions. I think I believe it! (Well it'd be nice to find something to blame it on lol).

Hawk, follow your Dr'a advice but also don't be afraid to say "dude, I'm really suffering" either. They only know what we present with. You're doing the right steps though and that says to me that even in your pit, you are stronger than you know which will make recovery sooner. Keep chatting here. We're gonna get through this.
Posted 7/10/2014 9:13 PM (GMT 0)
I am 34 and live in California (so sunny or mostly sunny here year round). I used to live in Chicago, and my depression was usually in the summer, caused by not taking my meds and/or a stressful situation.

I am not going to stop taking my meds now, since its getting so bad. I know that I need them from now on. Even if I get better, I will take them because I don't want a relapse. I used to be self conscious about taking them, but now I know that it is something I need and something that I should not be ashamed of. I am afraid of poop out of the drugs. I didnt know that that existed, and hope that my Lexapro works now and from now on.

I just emailed my doctor an email. Its been about a week since he let me get back on name brand Lexapro. It is not working yet, but I hope that switching it to day time and eventually increasing the dosage to 10 mg or 20 mg will do the trick. I have nothing else to do right? I wish I knew what the answer was, so I could just do it. I am going to try to do physical fitness daily and try to do some of the positive cognitive homework assignments, but its hard to do them. Hard to face the depression head on.

Thanks for sharing in this struggle and working together to get out of it.
Posted 7/10/2014 10:22 PM (GMT 0)
Hawk-

I KNOW the challenge of physical or cognitive work when we are in the pits. I've been told time after time by many experts, some of which are friends or family, to do it anyway. It feels like swimming against a strong current, I know. I actually overwhelmed myself in the beginning bc I literally bought about 10 self help books. My psychologist told me to put them away for now bc I it was too overwhelming. So. I did. lol. I also started walking and doing yoga. The walking for me was easy bc my neighborhood has nice sidewalks. In the winter I went to our fitness center. I had the "luxury" of anxiety just as bad so the adrenaline did help actually to get started.

Even if you have to do it at nighttime when you're catching small break of feeling less in a pit, try it. It's proven to help, even if we don't feel it right away. I used to roll my eyes at runners, projecting my own inability to run so I was kinda judgmental. But now, I see them differently. They're prob on to something! There is a sense of physical and mental well being after even the slightest exercise.

Just remember baby steps. It may be once around your block or 50 ft and you say screw this, I wanna go back and hide. At least you got out! And you keep doing it.

It might help you to have a mantra too. When your mind wanders to negative, say "I will overcome this" or "this too shall pass" or "I'm going to be better than ever." Something positive and repeat it every day, every hour, every minute, even if it doesn't feel right.

Looking back, do you see things where you noticed you might be slipping or did it just hit immediately and out of the blue? I sure saw where I was struggling and don't you wish I could go back now and work super hard in therapy to have tried to sharpen my coping skills b4 I hit the pit. Also, unless necessary, I'll neverrrr switch meds in the middle of winter lol. Oops. I've now read if possible, switch during sunny months. Being in CA though, you don't have to worry about that.

Have you been to family doc to get bloodwork? Have your vitamins checked, thyroid etc? Men can have thyroid issues. Also your blood sugars, blood pressure etc. I did all of it bc this time I'm not screwing around. I'm working on physical health too!

Keep talking! I'm listening!

Lisa
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