This book will have a happy ending

Sean, I am not sure. Can you call your consultant and ask? How's your anxiety been? I keep reading where DP is part of anxiety disorder. I couldn't tell you for sure in my case bc I've had both depression & anxiety. My therapist explained it as your mind "zoning out" to protect itself from the anxiety. Does that make sense? Maybe even protect it from the depression.

I can't remember, was this your first experience with DP or had you had it before in your past bouts?

Have you tried to go back to therapy?

You should be increasing your Lamictal soon, yeah? It may have leveled and needs that higher dose to maintain and to give you more and more good weeks! Keep posting, stay busy & remember "I can handle it."

Hugs!

Lisa

Mine is feeling detached from my life & people and things that I love or even as a human. Like, a bad drug trip, questioning reality, questioning human functions like "OMG I have hands, hands are weird, eyes are weird, how does this work, who am I, what am I?" WEIRD crap like that!!!?? It's hard to explain, isn't it? But.... as I'm refocusing and staying busy and (knock on wood), feeling a bit better, it's lifting or I don't pay attention to it.

Does any of that make sense? For the record, I've never done any drugs but pot and that was over 20 yrs ago! I got a few panic attacks after smoking it so I stopped. I can panic on my owm, don't need recreational drugs to do it LOL

HUGS,

Lisa

You really should be proud of yourself Sean... You have come a long way. I think it takes a little time for the depersonalization to go away completely. But you definitely are having more good than bad days. Keep hanging in there and keep trying. Don't give up, keep moving forward...

Hi Lisa... I hope you are having a good day today...

Hugs, Karen...

Hey everyone,

Glad you had a good day Lisa even if it was spent up the hospital. Karen thank you for kind words which mean a lot.

I have been on 120 mg a day of Cymbalta for over a month now and I think they are just starting to kick in and from what I have heard, they can take longer to have a full effect and this is without the effects of the Lamictal being felt too so I have to keep hopeful for the future.

Depersonalization is actually the 3rd most common mental health issue after depression and anxiety but most people only get it on occasions of stress and stuff like that so they don't really know what it is.

I only have one gig this week on Sunday so I have some time to just rest really and catch up on some sleep, my friend is coming around with baby this afternoon so that will divert my attention for a while.

I really hope you all have a great weekend :)

Have you started the increased dose yet? I can tell you from experirnce, sitting around and waiting as an adult (bc as kids we had a million distractions lol), it's futile... I think they ARE working for you and the increase will really start to diminish the DP junk. But you have to try reallllly reallllly hard to stay busy. I KNOW it's hard but even going to the library, or asking your friend with the baby to come over more often, making a new food recipe, anythingggg that you used to like to do before this started.

Are you journaling? How about waking up every morning and proclaiming "there will be something good in today!" And keep a gratitude journal. What abt getting involved in a church? (I know we aren't supposed to discuss religion but I remember your beliefs ). There might even be a support group w/in churches around you.

Are there any parks near that you could walk through? Nature is healing. And talk to your creator. Every day. Pray, ask for healing, thank your creator for your health, etc. Pray for others. Anything to get your mind off of "it."

I'm just telling you what I've been doing. I KNOW it's challenging but it's imperative you stay busy. Clean the house, do your parents laundry, start shopping for nappy deals for your friends baby, anything!

And of course keep coming here for support!!! We are all friends here as you know and will support eachother through back to well being!!

Big hugs,

Lisa

I have noticed something... I'm feeling more like myself. I don't if it's the Lamictal or the increase in Pristiq (50mg to 100mg) as they both happened the same day. I'm knocking on wood and praying it continues...

And I know the same will happen for you. I know abt feeling good then getting kicked back a few steps... It sucks but it's not the end of our story!

Good for you getting out there!! Next week may (or may not!), been difficult for me as my BFF is moving Tuesday. We have been BFF for nine years and have been through everything together. Of course we'll still remain friends but our whole friendship she's lived 5 minutes from me and we are always hanging out. Now she's moving over 2 hours drive. If course that's not THAT far but it's different than being 5 minutes away. Things will change... :( But. I will handle it. I can handle it. That's my new mantra with everrrrything now "I can handle it."

Hugs!

Lisa

Aww thanks for saying you all would be here. That really means a lot <3

I do take Xanax (alprazolam). It is a benzo. I take a very low dose, .25 mg, every morning. I'd been taking one at night too but haven't needed that 2nd one for a week or so. It does not make me goofy at all. It's very mild. I do notice yawning more than usual but it doesn't "knock me out" at all.

My friend took klonezepan and she said it made her feel detached... You might ask your consultant if you could try Xanax (generic name is alprazolam). I tolerate it very well as do so many of us.

I'm sorry you've had rough days after a good week. I still believe you are heading out of the valley despite the rough several days. You're still on a low dose Lamictal and I'm betting the higher dose will make the difference.

Wishing you restorative sleep & sweet dreams!

Lisa

Hi Sean & good morning. It's only 6:37am here and I am awake- my usual time to wake no matter what time I go to bed grrr.

Um, every time I have/had it I felt crazy! I've tried to change my attitude about it. In some ways I think it's like a panic attack w/out the panic if that makes sense?

I started writing in my journal what was good on the days I had it like- the sun was shining or I showered for the day or I made dinner or I saw a butterfly lol. I made sure to write at least 3 things and often found myself writing more.

I can't remember, are you taking vitamins? If not, start with a multi vitamin. Try and stay active even if it's in your home doing sit ups or pacing through the house.

I think upping your dose of Lamictal is going to make the difference. I still believe that! Also, my Dr told me Lamictal takes 2-4 weeks minimum, like an anti depressant to fully work.

I'm going to try and go back to sleep lol but chances are I'll stay awake.

Hugs!!!!

Lisa

I'm going on a whole week plus 2 says of feeling better. I pray it stays this way. I have faith it will but I'm also afraid of jinxing myself. I'm concerned bc your week was good then yucky. I don't want that to be me. I don't want that to be you. I've read up abt Lamictal and ppl saying that the increase changed their lives.... I believe that is going to be your case.

Cod liver oil is good bc that's vitamin D3. Has it been sunny there? On days it's sunny, try and get outside and don't wear sunglasses. The sun benefits us getting into our eyes. Don't stare at the sun though LOL.

I know you don't wanna do your gig but it'll be over before u know it and you'll be that much closer to healing just by continuing to "just do it."


Hugs,
Lisa

Sean- you were fine in your worst moments before, you're going to be fine again. I know it sucks but you are handling it and going to handle it. Did you start your increased dose yet? We are here. You're not alone. Or crazy. And this will pass, I promise and I mean that.

Hugs

Lisa

Sean,

Do you think that you have depersonalization? Or do you think it is from the meds? Either way I think you handle it very well. You are coherent, you are able to write good clear posts, you are still able to talk to others and make sense out of things. I think you are doing really well fighting this demon. Keep hanging in there and have a good gig. Remember we may have these problems, but they don't define who we are.

Hugs, Karen...

Oh that quote/tattoo is brilliant....

When do you see your consultant next? Did you ever feel better on the Cymbalta? It's interesting you felt better the first week on Lamictal. It makes me think that an increased dose could benefit you. I read so many good reports on a drug website of ppl saying it changed their life when their dose was increased.

Great job completing your gig. You doing that and Hawk going back to work is inspiring despite your struggles and not feeling yourself. Do your parents work? I'm wondering if they do, if you're spending too much time alone during the day?? Have you thought about taking a karate or tai Kwan do class or something? It's physical and you focus on the moves. Just a thought. I struggle more when I'm alone and just sitting around thinking too much.

Hugs Sean. I still feel you're coming out of this valley despite how you're feeling now.

Lisa

Hey Lisa,

Think I am due to see consultant early September, I took my first 100 mg of lamictal tonight so I really hope that helps. I thought the cymbalta was helping as I had that good week not last week but the week before but then felt like crap this week just gone so I'm confused. They could still be finding the correct level in my brain and hopefully the lamictal will really help.

My parents are retired now and they don't do much tbh except sit down stairs and smoke so I sit in my room or I go visit friends....

Karen I really like that quote but I need to figure out where to put it as I have five already lol X

When are you due to put your dose up?