Today I start increased Pristiq and Lamictal

I hope you do well on this new dosage, what is lamictal?, and what does it do?

Lamictal is a mood stabilizer. I think it has multi uses- depression, bi polar, anti seizure?! It's often used as an add on to anti depressants to increase their effectiveness? It's all new to me bc in my past, I just took a med and it worked. No increasing doses, no addons.

How're things Brenda?

My friend presented with very slight improvement each week. She had a cpl minor step backs where she used her Xanax but it got better DVD we never talked abt it anymore- bc it wasn't an issue anymore bc she was better. I'm wishing for that to be our story too REAL freaking soon!

I know now she doesn't use Xanax anymore but she does start a new job next week and said once she did the urine tests, she was going to use them more for her anticipatory anxiety. She just didn't feel the need to explain her benzo use. She's a nurse lol. (Even tho they're prescribed for her).

Anyway, maybe you can remember when an ADA worked for u in the past- it was subtle and slow then one day you're like, huh, I feel pretty decent. My prayer is that you and I and the others going through the med dance will feel like that in the next weeks.

Lisa

Thank you every one, I just so want to see each one of us get better, today has been rather weird very tearful, but then cracking jokes left and right laughing, then down again, almost like a yo-yo.

I feel an incredible amount of guilt lately just very negative feelings, it seems like I have turned into a person I never wanted to be, and I have to be completely honest it is getting very very hard to handle.

I'm not giving up on the medication, and I hope it wasn't a fluke, I just don't think I realized how well I was doing in the past until I got to this low low place, It is almost to the way I felt after a night of bingeing on alcohol and drugs, I kind of feel lost, but I am still here so hope things get better.

Lessweet please keep us posted on your results with the change in your medication!

Brenda-

I'm sorry you're having a weird day. To me, your up & downs today indicate your chemicals are getting right. It's going to be like that for a bit of time. My friend said after a month she finally felt more stable. That's how I recall too, when a med worked. I so wish I'd kept a journal during my other bouts to compare notes. Then again, that was the past and it really doesn't matter. We just seek so many answers during this crap time and try to make sense of it.

I wish we could share pictures here bc I saw a good one on FB "your time as a caterpillar have expired. Your wings are ready." This is how I feel about all of us. Our wings are getting ready to flap very soon.

My friend was abusing alcohol and pills for years. I just talked to her today. She's come outta the darkness and is happy. She struggles with guilt but is working on it. We are works in progress and each step we take towards health counts even when we don't feel it or think it. I read "keep taking those steps even when you don't feel the good feelings from them. The good will come soon enough but in the meantime just do it" or something to that affect. I'm telling you this and MYSELF!

If you ever want to email me, my email is listed on my profile!

-Lisa

Brenda- are you talking about being depressed for so long as being these last 5 months or longer?

Because I've been struggling since February... Never in my 43 yrs have I struggled this long. As I've said before, not all days have been rotten. There is almost always something good in the day but I too focus on my feelings a lot. My past hurts, random things even that I haven't thought about in years... THAT is depression, not me, not you. Healing and favor ARE in our days to come. I decided last week to wake up in the morning and say "something good will happen today." And darn if it does (even when there are still yuck feelings). Depression makes us focus on the bad. To try and focus on good feelings is like swimming against a current- sometimes impossible feeling. BUT- we HAVE to do it anyway (try & focus on what good we see even if it is wiping our butt or brushing our teeth)!

Focusing on the negative feeds it. Just as focusing on the good feeds positivity. It takes as much energy to focus on what's bad as it does what's good. While we are healing with meds, we have to take baby steps to seeing or doing anything positive and recognize it- "well, I wiped my butt today, that's a great thing!"

As I'm typing this, I'm reminding myself too bc just like you, I obsess and fret & get very impatient. "You can't talk defeat and expect victory." I heard that this morning and thought of us. Easier says than done when we are wallowing in the muck but it's something we can take baby steps to start practicing every day, every hour, every minute- "I healing, I am getting better and better everyday, the rest of my life will be the best of my life." I have those sayings on notecards stuck to my bathroom mirror