Getting back on the horse

Howdy,


Whew haven't talked to anyone in sometime about my depression and I would like to work to get back on top of it. I am a young professional who first acknowledged the possibility of the mental illness during freshman year of college after an emotional breakdown/breakup with a SO. I tried to make it through school without reaching out to anyone and suffered because of the depression growing and perpetuating itself. In turn it spread into my work ability and concentration. I turned to a counselor at the school during my senior year to talk with someone about my struggles, but at the time did not want to begin any medications and after a few visits I felt like these consultations were not for the best and left it after graduating. I lived abroad for a while, came back home and applied to medical schools (one of my career goals). After not being invited to an interview, I was at a loss and extremely unmotivated, tired, and just that black cloud hanging over head feeling. I finally took a serious step towards managing it and spoke with parents (something I had not done before - mainly because of the unyielding guilt that I feel of not wanting others to have to worry or deal with my dragging feelings on normal day perspectives). I began some cymbalta under the guidance of a physician and had tried to reach out to additional counsel, but never made the full effort/connection to someone.

I recognize the importance of therapy in parallel with medication and just wanted to reach out to others for support. I haven't been able to energize myself to workout like I would like, concentrate and complete assignments at work (in fact I am here instead of working), and am nervous about beginning a possible relationship because of the previous experience and the negative influence my depression had on it.

tl;dr - I'm tired and feel guilty because I don't feel like I have done anything to feel tired and that swirls in my head endlessly..making me more tired.

Hey mushosho,

I think you said it yourself, when you said you'd like to get back on top of it. You took the first steps already by having that realization, and bringing it up to your parents, which was probably challenging, and when you feel ready, reach out to a professional of some sort. Maybe the dr who gave the prescription could help you ?
The best part about a therapist is you can say whatever you want!

The therapist will teach you positive thinking. We tend to repeat the negative in our heads over and over. It finally sticks. Just think how happy you could be if you only noticed the positives.

I think therapy will help you. Do reach out.

And keep posting, it helps too.

Hugs, Karen...