Feeling Insignificant

I am new to this forum and hope I'm doing this correctly...so here I go:
I believe I should be posting in the Chronic Pain group also. Short story: I had a spinal fusion 20 months ago, the moment I woke from surgery I was in excruciating pain in a completely new place. After seeing numerous doctors, testing, injections, nerve blocks, etc. It has been determined that there was permanent nerve damage during surgery. I now live my life with dagger pain stabbing in my left hip which radiates down my leg and into the foot. The past 5 months I am on pain management only and are on 15 different medications a day.

I feel like no one really cares about what I'm living with, doctors just keep throwing more meds at me and not helping me. I'm lost and not important enough, sometimes going to bed I think if I could just have a fatal heart attack in my sleep, it would be OK. Or maybe have a fatal car accident, you know something like this would take the suicide factor off the table. I know I'm not suicidal, I could never take my own life but I'm not functioning this way.

I spoke to my PC doctor and again lets just increase my anti-depression med. REALLY ... this is not going to help. I'm struggling with making an appt with a Mental Health Clinic but I can't let my family know how bad I feel. Really not sure what and/or where to go from here.

Dixie,

You have a few issue here that are increasing the pain.

One, there is most likely ANGER that is unresolved from the mistake in surgery. I suggest to find a good lawyer and see what can be done, All doc have malpractice insurance. This should not be swept under the rug.

Two, seeing a therapist to deal with chronic pain and the betrayal you might feel from the error in the operation is a great idea.

Acupuncture may be a option for pain relief. I did if for a year, gets expensive and it has to be kept up. However, it it did keep me at work for an extra year.

Keep posting here, we support and listen the best we can.
Peace
Trina