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Posted 9/6/2014 8:14 PM (GMT 0)
So after about a month of dating a girl, I made the wrong move and tried to be a bit more forward. She had said she was confused (liked me but also wanted to concentrate on personal development). My last relationship ended four years ago and I have not tried to start one since. I am very out of touch with how I need to be allowing things to take their course. Depression snuck its way in and convinced me that I should just put a clear line in the sand. So I asked her to state her intentions of dating me and we can continue talking or we stop our conversation cold turkey. I didn't want to become so invested in a relationship again and allow depression to sap my energy by making me over think gaps in texts/calls and all that jazz. I felt like she was a good balance to my personality and should have turned to others for advice but just made a rash decision..which is now eating away at me. I do not want to keep testing her with all my thoughts cause that just makes me seem not in control and desperate. Bummer
Posted 9/7/2014 5:58 PM (GMT 0)
Mushosho,

Welcome to the forum,

a month is a very short time to be seeing someone.

This is my take on you post.

I feel you need to relax on your relationship searching. Work on yourself more, Who you are and what you want out of life. Having a partner/mate do NOT make you who you are.

Being happy and selfcontent with yourself before finding another person works out much better in the long run. Try self-compassion and self-love on yourself. There is a good book entitled. The Mindful Path to Self-compassion. Wonderful stuff. You are most important.

Peace
Trina
Posted 9/7/2014 8:29 PM (GMT 0)
Ditto to what Trina said.

A month is barely getting to know one another. Don't give away your emotional center to someone you do not even really know.
Posted 9/8/2014 3:40 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you both for your responses. I agree that I want to be working more on myself and have researched the book you recommended. I need to make a better habit out of investing maybe 30 minutes of self reflection/meditation to really establish a work plan for myself. However, that is usually when depression takes its grasp and I am caught up on what I have not accomplished or may not have the time/financies to do.
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