Posted 10/3/2014 2:41 PM (GMT 0)
Taking the day off to do some job applications and laundry. I also want to do some cleaning of the house. After the worse-than-absolutely-awful subbing gig a few weeks ago, I have worked with delightfully fun classes.
I am truly starting to crave teaching. I miss it very much. When I was with a senior English class, starting to do some work on genocide (quoting and building an argument practice), I had a great time pulling together some comments to start them off.
I am still anxious, and feel off-balance emotionally most days, waiting for something to happen, for a job to happen, for something to do that engages me. It's limbo, neither good nor bad but exceedingly uncomfortable, Physically, I hope a short rest will help. I have been achier the past few days, especially after yesterday due to standing for eight hours. The early mornings do not help. Since I have been up and at work everyday unable to go the restroom, my colon has been clenching, and as a result have had constipation all week. Finally, it seems my colon has managed to process, and have been running to the restroom every hour or so, since last night.
My partner has started Wellbutrin, and has had some side effects but seems less anxious. But, it leaves the atmosphere less charged and more mellow.
It is a never-ending cycle. You make a poor choice and sink further down, and then another, and yet another. It is never one big thing, but many small ones that breaks the foundation to dust. The opposite is also true. A good choice can change the momentum, and enable you to see possibilities.