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Posted 10/25/2014 6:59 AM (GMT 0)
Why do I feel bad for wanting to be alone or just not at home? Why is it so hard to get into my brain that I need time away from my son? I am his only parent and he has no siblings to be with while I am gone. I do not have me time, as all of my days are filled with cleaning laundry and making sure that my son is happy and healthy. I do not want to despise anyone much less my child but I just want time to myself to nap or read or go on a date or just be in the quiet. Why is that wrong? I do I feel guilt about wanting this but then anger when it doesn't happen for me? Why am I do dang strange? Oh my peptic ulcer is very active as of late due to the very high stress levels. I just want help but my family can only do so much and I trust NO ONE else with son. Grrrr I am losing it here. Stay strong and I love you all
Posted 10/25/2014 8:19 AM (GMT 0)
Jess,

Being a mother seems to take all of the time you have. But it wont always be that way. Try to realize that. In another nine years he will be grown up. It is so hard to see the future when the present is all that you have. We do try to live in the moment. Pretty soon he will have his friends and not want mom around. That happens. Encourage him to get out with his friends.

It sounds like he is insecure. Wanting you all the time. He is dependent on you. Is there something you can do to change that? Does he see a counselor? It might be time to think about that. He will get confidence that way. You need help with this now. Talk to somebody about it. Tell them that he needs to learn to do things without "mom" there all the time.

There are answers. This isn't a one way street. Hang in there.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 10/25/2014 2:13 PM (GMT 0)
First of all, you are NOT strange for wanting me time. You're NORMAL!!! Any informed person will tell you that you can only make so many emotional loans. If you don't make deposits every so often, you will go emotionally bankrupt which it sounds like you are close to that.

You're obviously a warm & loving mother or your child wouldn't be so dependent on you. That's very common for an only child, especially of s single mother. You haven't done anything wrong but it would be good to start now to build his confidence to be away from you and your confidence to let him flap his own wings a bit.

Have you ever considered enrolling him in Big Brothers Big Sisters? It's free and a wonderful program. They do EXTENSIVE background checks on the "Bigs." I've actually filled out an app to be a Big Sister. They do fun things with your child, playing, educational, maybe going out to eat. You can know exactly where they are at all times. I think its like minimum of 4 hrs/week but could be more if the Big Brother has the time. Look into it. I know it may sound scary but they really do screen the adults as much as a police dept does!

We will continue to support and encourage you in every way. It's imperative you find a way to give yourself a deposit bc we all know "if momma 'ain't happy, ain't no one happy!"

Sending love,
Lisa
Posted 10/26/2014 8:21 PM (GMT 0)
I can understand your feelings, but I outgrew them a long time ago. My son who is now 15 is disabled but very functioning, but very needy of me :-) (they joy of being loved) I remember these very thoughts, just wanting to have time to myself when he was younger, but he was so incredibly out of control I couldn't get anyone to watch him.

I did pay a neighbor to watch him from time to time just to go shopping or something, and this was back when I worked full-time, have always been a single parent and couldn't get time to myself. I was on the waiting list for respite care, but 13 years later I either fell of the list or was removed wink

Any parent can associate with what you are going through, I just accepted the fact that I wouldn't get that for myself, and now if I need to do something he can take care of himself(I couldn't leave him all day), but now that I can do things, I have no desire to do them shakehead
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