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Posted 10/27/2014 6:16 PM (GMT 0)
Has a p-doc ever tested any of you using this method to see how severe your depression was?

I tested 13 (mild Depression) a week ago compared to 28 when i first saw him 7 weeks ago (very severe depression). 

I don't understand why I don't FEEL this progress.  I know my cycle has a lot to do with it.  But has anyone ever told you they thought you were doing much better than what you thought in your head. 

I don't feel normal yet, and I think that's what I want, is to just feel normal, and if I'm just mildly depressed I would think that i would feel normal more.  I have plenty of good days and again bad days are around my cycle but most of my days are just so blah..where i feel like i'm just going through motions. 

Anyway, just curious.

 

Posted 10/27/2014 6:53 PM (GMT 0)
He probably sees subtle things that leads him to believe that you are feeling better. Often times we get so caught up in the muck, that we can't see our own progress. And often being told we are doing better helps us to realize we are. I hope you are...

I remember not realizing I was feeling bad because I had nothing to compare it to. Then I started feeling better and I got afraid because I was so scared that something bad was going to happen. Like somebody ripping a rug out from under me. Like I didn't deserve to feel that good so I must not be.

Either way, I hope you feel better soon.
Posted 10/27/2014 9:12 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Kaez,

I honestly Didn't even know what the Hamilton scale was until I looked it up.
Interesting !!

Did you vent out much more in the beginning ? Like how bad everything was ? And maybe now your venting is more limited in a way ? I don't know if that makes sense. But I think I have something similar going on where my therapist sees a lot more progress, positives than I do. But I gather that's all a part of it too, way easier to dwell on the negatives and let them grow.

Hope you get some good answers!
Totally relate to wanting to feel normal -
Posted 10/27/2014 10:19 PM (GMT 0)
Oh yes Keaz, my therapist and Pysch have both told me in the last year, while I was have dark, bad thoughts just how strong I really was!

Turned out they were right. I stayed out of crisis.

You do not see it until you are past the storm or the emotion upheaval.

I never took the Hamilton test since 2011, where I scored 27. So
now I refuse. Do not want to know. It is only numbers in time. Roller coaster ride and all that.

If you journal, go back and read some of your old journals, it will let your see how well you are doing now. I put sticky notes on the pages of journals that are encouraging and brighter. I have more sticky notes now then I did in the first few years. This in itself is encouraging.

Peace and comfort
Trina
Posted 10/27/2014 10:30 PM (GMT 0)
I am in the same boat! Although I have never taken the test, I know I would score as improved, or a lower number. I AM improved from my days of 24/7 anxiety, crying and pacing but like you, I don't feel my normal self yet.

I'll take how I feel now vs then (spring/summer), but I'm not totally comfortable yet. I'm working on it though.

Sending love-
Lisa
Posted 10/28/2014 10:12 AM (GMT 0)
we have a similar one in australia. i do mine when a new referal is required by my therapist, plus it gives the doc an understanding of where your at over the past bit. keep well.
Posted 10/28/2014 5:16 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks everyone for your input. I'm still on my period and still feeling like I'm going through the motions. Not much interest in anything. How am I supposed to be a good mom and wife when I don't feel anything to the fullest. I truly hate this illness and that doesn't sound like mild depression to me. It's at least moderate.
Posted 10/29/2014 7:27 AM (GMT 0)
we are here for you. sending you many healing thoughts.
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