Hello All...Just touching base. I've been on and off, reading some posts, though not posting much. I'm hoping that the new year will bring more of a closeness (for me) to this group. I'm still feeling more like the new kid, I think.
It's been a quiet day here with just the 2 of us (and our Dals). The weather was horrid, humid and rainy yesterday, with cooler temps today. The sun came out intermittently, but remained dark for the most part.
I, like so many at this time of year, am struggling with ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future. It's not so easy to detach when obligations are looming. Things finally have come to a lull, with mom's dinner and party at the living center being DONE for another year (9 now). There were major issues 2 weeks ago that threw me into a near-death spiral of anxiety, anger and deeper depression. It wasn't my mom (this time). It was the failure of the center staff to meet my standards of care (for my mom). I refused to turn the angst inward, instead taking a proactive approach. I went to the CEO of the parent company with my concerns. Changes are being made as we speak, but this is a CONSTANT BATTLE that I would wish on no one.
Enough of that... 
I LOVE reading the conversations amongst some of you, whether with your pets or your children, or (like me) your pets that ARE your children. I enjoy reading the thoughts and activities y'all describe for your Christmas Eve and Day. I see that most are doing what "we" do...getting through these somewhat challenging emotional times. My husband and I adopted 2 Angel Tree families this year, along with our Shoeboxes for Soldiers program through Sunday School. Our class made/delivered fruit baskets while singing Christmas carols last week. We do for ourselves throughout the year, as need (or want) arises...so we don't really "do" gifting to each other at Christmas. I don't care for the unnecessary stress and pressure of people scrambling to buy things for people who will likely return them the next day. I prefer to "do" for those who are in need...or lonely, in need of our presence.
On a funny note...My 86 year old aunt with whom we usually celebrate Christmas, is in Florida for the winter. My husband ALWAYS dresses full costume ELF and visits her. She's really gone South this year (not just to Florida). Her health is failing, so we fear her holidays are numbered. Last night we made a video of my husband dressed in his ELF suit dancing to the Ceelo Green song. We laughed more than we've laughed in a year. My husband said I was behind the tripod, acting like a full-blown "pageant mom" flailing about. I guess you had to be there. We sent the video today. She will absolutely freak. She's such a FUN lady...my chosen mom.
Just a couple of thoughts...
Karen...How's that new sleigh? Your dinner plans sound happy. Enjoy the present!
Trina...I still think about your Wise Men=) Did you complete them? I saw a "Budha Board" at Whole Foods. I love all things creative, with art being just a part of my genetic code. I got lost in the calligraphy aspect of the board on display at the store. There's something so right about a brush in my hand. I thought of you.
Joyce... I'm concerned about your eyes, as I know you are. My mom, as I've said, suffered complete vision (blind) in her left eye due to an occlusion. She was having regular check-ups, as her doctor was aware of macular degeneration. However, there was a bleed that went undetected and sealed itself. Unfortunately, the damage could not be reversed. I know that early on you commented on your "age" and wanting more so to secure your grown children's future. Please seek help further options for your vision issues. You are a precious gift to this forum. You bring laughter, thoughtfulness, and grace. YOU and your vision are priceless.
UA...Babygirl, don't be pressured by Anyone to do Anything you don't feel an inner peace about. Life's too complicated. It's "for better or forget it". Take all the time you need.
Myself...You are wise to mull more than your cider this holiday season. As Turtle says...slow and steady...no rash decisions. Your familial burdens are heavy right now. Sadly, your mom is as well as she will ever be. I weep as I read of your gains and losses, both material and flesh. I admire your courage and strength. As Scarlet said...You can worry about "other" things tomorrow...though not actually tomorrow...because it's Christmas...Maybe the day after that. 
Jess...I hope your head cold is easing so that you can enjoy Christmas with your son and extended family. We've been "burning through" the Germ-X between the 2 of us. Flu is rampant in our area, but thus far we have been fortunate on that front.
Chel...I respect your choice on the steak dinner, but like others, wish you would reconsider. No one should have to be alone tonight. I can relate to the "keeping busy". I've got "that" too...but it's finally wound down to THIS...no extended family celebrations...no ho-ho-hope of any. Try to enjoy whatever time with your kids...then do something truly special for Chel=)
Jamie...I know you aren't "celebrating" as such, but...If you were here with us tonight, we'd share a "kip" and a "nip" while listening to some tunes=) Cheers.
To all of you who are passing this way tonight...I wish you peace.
Hugs~~Dixie