Hi there
Over the past year i've posted a few times regarding my boyfriend who was a long term sufferer from depression. It made our relationship very hard as when we had a fight or he felt that I was attacking him (even when i wasn't) he'd just shut me out, sometimes for days and sometimes for weeks. Everytime he'd come back and be extremeley apologetic but at the same time not seem to realise how hard it is to be on the receiving end of such treatment. He kind of had an 'I needed space, no big deal' attitude about it whereas i'd been sitting at home distraught for weeks calling and texting him repeatedly with no response.
In December it happened again. This time has been much longer and he has missed important things like a concert i bought tickets too, our anniversary, christmas, New Year and i've just had an operation which he was supposed to come with me too. Not only did i not see him for all of these things, i have barely heard from him either. There's beena few messages saying 'i love you' or 'im sorry' but as soon as i start to talk about how upset i've been he gets defensive, angry and then slips off the radar again.
In my head, given that it's been about 8 weeks since i've seen him, i have to assume that it's over, Stop calling him and try to move on. The problem is, i've spoken to a few of his friends who say he seems fine and tells them that me and him are ok. I'm confused as to why he can be ignoring me, but telling other people that we're good?
I think really what i want is some opinions from other people who suffer from depression as to what could be going on in his head. I know that no one can tell me for sure but if i could get a small insight into how his mind is working i think it would settle me a bit.
Does it sound like it's over this time? Or because he's telling his friends we're happy, does that mean he's intending to stay together? When he sees 10 missed calls and 5 text from me, is it getting through to him how hurt i am or do you think he's just in this black place where it doesn't even register with him?
It's so hard to move on when there hasn't been a clear end. I love this man so much that some days i think that perhaps i could learn to deal with his treatment of me...but then on the other hand should i? I clearly don't bring out the best in him, perhaps there's someone out there that does in which case I guess I should let him find that.