My boyfriend's dad committed suicide a week ago

While I wasn't the first person he called, I was one of the first few. Honestly, I thought it was a joke at first, and was really insulted he would joke about something like that. Turns out, it really wasn't a joke, so I stayed with him for several days after, sleeping over with him.

He's been pretty angry off and on, but the anger didn't start right after his dad died. It actually started when his dad got really drunk a couple months before he died and threatened suicide then. My family is both understanding of why he's angry, and also still pissed whenever his anger is directed at them. (My family has a habit of making people angry, though they don't really mean to, though sometimes he's just mad at really small things) His family seems to take his anger better than my family though.

I have a problem with clinginess. It's always been an issue in past relationships, and the fact that it came up in this one really hard after his father's death is really no surprise. His mom told me it was an issue for him since he didn't want to hurt my feelings, but that he still loves me.

I have now tried to back off a bit and let him message me first, which actually is more often than I expected he would. He hasn't been messaging me about the death though, just funny internet pictures and things he likes. I'm not sure if that's a bad or good thing, but I'm not going to ask him that.

I'm honestly really hoping he stays with me after this. The death has honestly flip-flopped who the clingier one was in the relationship, so even though I wasn't my usual "more clingy than who I'm dating" self during the nearly-year-long relationship, now I am.

Any advice on this?

I would make sure he gets grief counseling. It is very helpful in getting back on with one's life.

Please make sure he gets grief counseling.

You may want some direction yourself on how to help him. Professional I mean...

Hugs, Karen...

First, I want to thank you and your families , for being there, even if they make someone angry. Second, I think it's great you have concern for him and yourself and the relationship! People tend to shy away from family members affected by suicide, as if it were contagious. No one knows what to say, and usually makes a mess of stupid questions. Sounds as if he is trying to remain positive, by sharing things he likes and finds amusing, rather than blaming himself and being morbid. If he's clingy be glad he wants to cling 'to life'...if you're clingy it's because you don't want to lose him. As long as it's not smothering. Take turns and be ready to ease up on the grip. There is no time limit on grief. His position in the universe has changed. It takes some getting used to. (I am an adult orphan) I'm glad you are willing to be patient.