increased depression or benzo withdrawal

I am not sure what is happening with my system these days. I can't be sure whether I am on too little AD, too little clonazopram, have too much negativity still in my life circle or maybe all of the above.

Symptoms:

Fatigue,empty feeling inside, weak physically, impatient and irritable at constant chatter to me, tired of fighting these symptoms along with trial and error medicines and supplements-but head knowledge knows I must if I am to survive today.

I have thought about checking myself in somewhere today; but it is fathers day- :) I have my simple smile on and drawing from an empty well to prepare a special meal for my husband today. Thank god it is a turkey and needs to cook for several hours!

I am not suicidal; just tired of the fight from within today; and too weak and uninterested in life to function. I don't say much to my husband because he has too much on his plate as it is in life. Nor does he understand 'depression'; and creates more anxiety in me by becoming angry at the doctors for not being able to 'fix it'.

Any questions or comments are welcome!!

https://www.healingwell.com/community/emoticons/sad.gif

Have you discussed this with your doctor? Why are you withdrawing off of benzos? Or do you think you don't have enough? Sounds more like depression than anxiety, but only a doctor would know for sure.

Please talk to somebody...

Hugs, Karen...

If it helps though, you could always take it for awhile and then taper down real slow. I took Xanax for over 20 years. Gradually I started cutting back and within 2 years I was off. I have some though and if I get anxious real bad, I take one. But I didn't have any addiction problems or withdrawals except one time I tried to cut back too fast.

Though clonazopram maybe different experience.

I was lucky and had an easy menopause. But it started in my early 30's and lasted until about 50. There was no rhyme or reason for my cycles. They went totally crazy. But I was able to fight the constant pms with hrt for awhile, then antidepressants. But all in all it wasn't that bad. I mean especially at the end. But I tried to walk a lot and do meditation. Mindfulness helps too. They are things that you can do for yourself and maybe even need less medication. Though recently I did have an increase due to situational type depression. One day at a time though...

Have you ever tried controlled breathing for anxiety? It helps a lot...

I hope you feel better soon...

Hugs, Karen...

Thanks so much Karen and Chelel.
I have gone through menopause as mentioned and stopped hormones too. I guess it has been about a year since my last HRT dose. I also have this genetic disorder that compromises my B12 and folate absorbtion. I finally had to go take a methlycabolamin B12 dose to see if that was part of my problem. It did give me some energy to get dinner and focus better for a while. I also went ahead tonight and took the small dose increase that was prescribed of the clonazopram. I am so sensitive that I would notice if it changes some of those symptoms. My escitalopram is at a really low dose too (10 mg.)-due to side effects of increasing it. It is probably a combination of things going on -again ; ( My appointments to be re-evaluated are coming up in a week and two weeks. I might be able to get into see my medicine prescriber earlier. I have been really blessed in the past with his gentle manner of trial and error of medicines. But since my last visit I am quite embarassed to even tell him if I am having any problems due to him suggesting that I was OCD about my medicines. I know I have probably asked before; but what AD's are you two taking; and what symptoms do they treat? Also are you content with the results ? It probably sounds nosey but I have only tried the three; escitalopram10-15 mgs, sertraline up to 75 mgs and had to drop back to 50mgs, then off due to interactions of something, and the paxil of long term good results.

I take Pristiq and Abilify. They work good together. Pristiq is a newer antidepressant and Abilify is a mood stabilizer. I took Xanax for over 20 years but have stopped. That was for anxiety.

I hope you find what works for you. Keep us posted.

Hugs, Karen...

Do you take Vitamin D3? It can help with energy. But you really only need it if you don't get enough sun. Just a thought...

Hugs, Karen...

The fish oil is good for your brain and depression, I would continue taking that. I take 5000 iu of d3 too. It helps me...

I sure do hope you feel better soon. Maybe a short walk would help.

Hugs, Karen...

I guess your sister made it obvious about you talking about depression and yourself. Sounds like you are reaching out to me... But it must make her uncomfortable. I don't really like to talk to people about my depression or my fibromyalgia. I get tired of explaining things. But that is me... I guess I try not to focus on it.

But coming here is the place to talk because we all understand what you are going through.

I am glad you made a call, or message. I am sure that they will try to help you.

My mood stablilzer helps me a lot. Maybe one will help you too. I am glad you are going to talk to them about that. If nothing else, explore options that you have.

I hope you feel better soon. Keep posting, don't let your sis get to you. Keep moving forward...

Hugs, Karen...

It is good to talk about it to people who understand what you are going through. So talking here is good. Have you ever told her how you feel? Maybe it is time.

Do learn to let things go if you can. Sometimes people seem to not think of us but come to find out there is something totally different going on. It is just not good to hang on to these things. Forgive often. Life is very short. But I would talk to your sis. I have a feeling she will understand. She probably doesn't even realize how you feel.

I hope your day gets better Matina...

Hugs, Karen..