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Posted 7/4/2015 6:37 PM (GMT 0)
Hey everyone! How are you all? I am 23 year old girl. I have been in a relationship from 7 years. We keep facing some issues like any normal couple does but we always come out clean. Though I have trust issues and some times its too much for him to absorb them but he manages and I kinda try my best to keep calm.

He has been way too loving and caring all these years. Hes kinda everything I asked for but lately I have seen pictures of him with his ex including another friend. These pictures are from the time when we were on a break. He says that it was just a normal party and nothing else and the reason why he dint tell me is because i already have trust issues and telling me this would have made the situation worse.

I on the other part am a little dicey about this and feel bad. We fought badly and haven't talked since 2 days. I dont know what to do. I cant trust him. Probably this is the reason why. I have a very strong instinct. I love him a lot and im not sure if i will ever be able to move on. Should i move on or should i not? I want to know if this is something normal or guys kinda do such stuff normally? am i being too emotional or what?

Thanks a lot!
Posted 7/4/2015 7:17 PM (GMT 0)
Don't go by assumptions, go by fact... It was probably innocent. You need to give him the benefit of a doubt.

Is the trust issue because of him, or is it you being insecure because of something in the past? You can't blame him for what you have been through in the past with somebody else...

If you don't know for sure that he did anything wrong, I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. You could be jumping to conclusions.

If he gave you reason not to trust him, then I would think about moving on... Some people can forgive and forget, some can't.

I hope that things get better soon.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 7/4/2015 7:29 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Karen. Nothing too big has happened in the past. Though he was a bit of a heartthrob and had many relationships in the past when we were not together. May be i'm a little insecure because of that. He used to tell me everything back then but now he prefers to hide such matters from me that would arise any problems later on. May be because of my trust issues, he is losing grip.
Posted 7/4/2015 8:25 PM (GMT 0)
It is so hard when we can't trust. I have come to a point that if the guy is mine, he is mine. I use to get real jealous and so did the guy. (this was many, many years ago). The problem was the guy was sneaky. And I was open. Then I started to not be open and it festered. I decided that if he was meant to be with me, he would. Then the jealousy and untrust pretty much went away. Though I still felt he wasn't faithful, but had a 23 year relationship. I don't know what my point is other than when I didn't trust and was jealous, I felt miserable, so I let things go so I would feel better. If that makes sense. You have to think about how it is affecting you and if it makes you depressed.

Doubt is another type of emotion that plays with our minds. Mostly doubting ourselves. Try to love yourself. Decide what is acceptable with him and what isn't. Go from there. I hope that it all works out, but do still give him the benefit of a doubt when you can.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 7/4/2015 8:44 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks for the help. Yes you got it right. I cant keep tabs on him all the time but I doubt that hes not faithful. Not that hes in to something serious but he hides little things from me. But I agree probably I should give him the benefit of doubt. Can I ask you how did you manage to move on after a 23 year old relationship? because i dont know why but I some how feel the need to be prepared for this.
Posted 7/4/2015 10:45 PM (GMT 0)
It was my first husband. He died of lung cancer in 2000. So I had to move on. I know that doesn't help much. But one day at a time helps me.
Posted 7/4/2015 11:19 PM (GMT 0)
I am so sorry Karen. I really am. I shouldn't have mentioned that to you. I am really embarrassed. Sorry to hurt you like that but trust me you are doing great and you give each and everyone of us a lot of inspiration. Sending you lots of love. Thank you for so much help and concern.
Posted 7/5/2015 12:49 AM (GMT 0)
That is okay. It was a good bit ago and it doesn't bother me. learned a lot from that relationship. I am in a good marriage now. I am happy. So don't worry. Thank you for the kind words. I hope you had a good day.

Hugs...
Posted 7/5/2015 2:44 PM (GMT 0)
Fish,

Since Karen went where i was going to go, I will ask this:

doing the math, you have been seeing this person since you were 16.

7 years is a long time without a commitment such as marriage, perhaps this is what you are looking for and do not realize it.

Sit quietly and get in touch with your feelings, are you wondering is there someone else out there for you? What would it be like with a another person? How do you feel with someone else pays your a compliment or flirts with you?

You could be transfering the Trust issue from insecurity and want to break free. I am not sure of course, I am in know way a clinical professional.

I DO know however, if the relationship take this much work, the question has to asked, "Is this the right person for me"

I wish you peace and strength
Trina
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