depression and relationships

Have you tried anti-anxiety medications? Valium, Xanax, Ativan? Just curious.

Hugs, Karen...

PS.. Welcome to the forum.

Welcome to the forum.

Perhaps a mood stabilizer along the AD is what you need. Many of us, including me take a med such as lamictal, to help.

ALSO, coping skills, therapy are very important to deal with depression and anxiety. Meds to not do it 100%.

We have to own our illness, treat it and respect it for the illness it is. Just like any other chronic condition.

I would like to suggest you check out the following web site. Lots of good stuff to help you get started with coping skills. Also, SELF-COMPASSION is key in relationships. My husband and I found this out the hard way. You can not love someone, unless you start to like/love yourself.

That means, challenging all the negative thought loops that play in your head.

www.mindful.org

We also have a Resource thread at the top of this forum. I invite you to review all the pages and investigate the sites, books and info available.

Peace and strength
Trina

Hi Skulaki,

How are you doing today?

Hugs, Karen....

Same here... The sun is shining now though and that makes things so much nicer.

Hugs...

Moonbeam2015 said...
elationship. Maybe attend meetings together, so he can be informed of what u are going through. Love is the most powerful force in the world; if you have it you can move mountains and accomplish almost anything. Not just anyone will stand by you, so he must be a good guy( a keeper) got to go to bed now it is 2am here, if you ever want to talk message me.

hi,

and thank you for your post. I understand what you are saying but I have even had wellbutrin and it did not do anything for my anxiety or depression..everyone has dreams and goals, and while I love my boyfriend....I feel like I am doing him more harm than good. He is very outgoing and (I was too when the meds actually worked) but now for the past 6-7 years nothing has worked.....and I feel like a lost cause......I don't even feel like I have the ability to dream anymore.....

Myself 09 said...
Have you tried a combo? Some conditions respond better to having two ADs on board. I take wellbutrin and effexor together,which has helped significantly.

Therapy?

Everyone hates having to take meds. There is not one person who likes to be on a daily medication. But it is a cost benefit analysis, pure and simple. Does it help more than it harms? If it does, then the patient can adapt to the side effects. Yeppers, it's not fun, but the price of feeling better is often dealing with those pesky side effects. Example-I have one of those colon diseases,and I take hydrocodone at night to help with pain. Hydrocodone causes significant constipation. Wellbutrin adds to that effect. It is not fun and it is sometimes painful, but I rely on those two drugs to manage effectively my other conditions.

In all this discussion, you do not mention how BF feels about this. Does he want to end things?

People with depression ought to never make huge decisions or changes to their lives, because the illness causes you to have poor emotional judgment and flawed decision-making skills.

Be well and breathe often!

I have tried everything and nothing works..

I am very negative right now. No he didn't ask to end things, but I think I should because I don't think it's fair that I should ruin his life because I'm messed up.

I would talk to the doc about an SNRI and a mood stabilizer. That is the combo I take and it helps.

There is a book I am reading right now that may help you. It is called "the mindful path to self compassion". I am not very far, but it is helping me already.

It seems to take a combo of medications, therapy and self help. Mindfulness helps a lot. And meditation to stay at peace.

I hope you feel better soon.

Hugs, Karen...

Ok, I may have rambled on, and I guess what I was saying was not very clear. Sometimes it takes a comprehensive approach to treat an illness and I agree with what everyone was saying. Sometimes you have to pick an illness apart and treat each symptom separately. For instance low energy, increase vit B, Ginseng is a good energy booster. Journaling your feelings helps a lot of people to have a better idea what is going on in their head. I happen to be one of those people. I know it is hard but If you can make yourself do some kind of exercise at least 3 times a week will help too. Also I would like to ask you a personal question but not on a thread (privately) I have a good reason. My only goal is to try to share some different ideas with you of things that have worked for myself and other people I know. If you are ok with that then message me when you get a chance. Mindfulness and self hypnosis are great too. Venting to a priest or clergyman of some sort or a trusted friend. No one thing is going to knock depression out it takes a combination of little things working together. I just think that breaking up with your boyfriend is a mistake and that when you feel better you will really regret it.

But I have a friend who tried antidepressants for her anxiety and depression combo and she said it didn't work so her doctor started prescribing her clonapin I don't think that is spelled correctly but it is late here and I am tired. Anyway she said it works wonders for her, she got off the antidepressant altogether and doesn't even have to take the clonapin every day. I know you are exhausted and overwhelmed and given up hope but that is why you have us. To remind you that you have options and are stronger than you think you are, and you can do this. You don't have to do it alone. You are surrounded by people who care for you. Love is worth fighting for! Trust me I fight for it every single day of my life. On the positive side what doesn't kill me makes me stronger and the fight makes me appreciate the love in my life a heck of a lot more.

skulaki mou

I must challenge your instant response of "it won't make me happier....". How do you know?

You have to keep trying. It can be done!

This is the negative thought loops controlling what you are doing. Fight this, by doing the opposite. Just say the words I can do this, or better yet. I WILL TRY THIS Keep saying it untill you believe it.

Then try it, put effort into it. Before you know it, you will be trying different skills, something will work.

You have reached out here for help. We are trying to give you all the help we can. YOU have to be the one to take it, and do something with it. No one else can do that, but you.

Please try, the effort is so worth the out come!

Peace ans strength
Trina

I know about negative thoughts and what they can do.

It is not answer. Hold ice in your hands till it hurts. This will bring your emotions down to a managable level.

Then please get on www.mindful.org and search for negative thoughts and read how to help control them.

You can do this.

Peace
Trina

Ok well I guess honestly is the best policy. It worked out because I told him that my life is not easy, and I don't want to make your life harder than it already is. I have my ups and downs, and there will be points in my life where it will not be easy. So i told him if you want to break up please tell me. I don't want to ruin your life. But he said "No, I love you, and I want to be with you".

I just still feel like I am making his life difficult. I mean I feel so bad when he asks me to go out somewhere and I am so anxious or depressed and the only thing I want to do is stay home and isolate from everyone. I mean how is that fair?