finding life difficult

Hey Simon! -waves-

It's rough trying to find something meaningful in the adult world. Between work and home, feeling out of touch can be very frustrating.

Two thoughts for you-likely reiterations of things and possibilities you have heard before. Bear that in mind--the suggestions can be general but the implementation of them so very individual. And hard.

One-what are you trying to do to make connections outside of work? In order to get more involved, you need to be more involved. In something--I am not sure it matters what. Researchers believe that our society breeds loneliness and disconnection, because of technology and our rather safe lives of work-home. I read somewhere that the 21st century features the most single-person households, ever. The point is,I guess, that relying on work for friends and belonging isn't going to work for many. So,--join a sport league, a singing group, a dramatic club, a reading club. Heck, start one. If you're feeling this kind of loneliness, you are not alone.

Just going places isn't going to swing it for most people either. Sitting at the bar with a drink is passive. Being in a softball league (a soccer league) is active. Active is better than passive. Volunteer to meet like-minded people. Get involved.

Two-You mentioned a low-dose anti-psychotic. Have you been to the doc recently? If not, you might want to schedule a visit. Perhaps increased/different medications will help you feel more positive,and then kick-start your own personal situation. A thought-location might have a lot to do with following conversations. With fibro, I get seriously overwhelmed in loud situations. If there are a lot of conversations happening at once, I just cannot follow. So--your issue might be not just medical but also situational.

Let us know!

Simon, I recall returning to work after an extended absence from surgery. It was a bit disconcerting to discover that, not only did 'life go on without me', they had hired new people while I was gone! I was no longer returning to the familiar. Trying to mesh into any established group has never been easy for me. Coming into that situation while I was still not 'at the top of my game' was even more difficult! Having it 'confirmed' that they could 'get along without me' was a blow to my ego! I felt very unsure of myself. I wish I could say that I handled it well, but I did not. I ended up leaving that job with a resentment and a very haughty attitude! I hope it turns out better for you. Hind sight is 20-20! Breathe! Take your time.

You are still a valuable member of your team! Some of your responsibilities may have been given to others and you may have some new ones to deal with yourself. Adjusting takes time.

Returning to old activities or exploring new opportunities may lead you to meet new people that add enjoyment to your life. Walking or other exercise is always good for us and an activity that can be done in a group. Line dancing, photography classes, book clubs and writing groups etc. Getting a pet or volunteering with animals may be something to look into. I joined a Tenant's Rights Committee in my town that meets once a month. Not a huge commitment of time, but it helps.

I'm not on medication at the moment and have a hard time following conversations! I'm frank about it. Everyone has things going on that can distract them and I have learned to just be up front about it and not feel bad about asking people to repeat what they have said or ask if we could go someplace quieter to continue a discussion. Taking notes when appropriate is another helpful thing I use in a group setting. Of course, sometimes that activity can become one of the distractions! A word or two is usually just enough to help me keep track.

The usual suggestions also help...get enough sleep, enough water, enough food, etc. Keep posting, let us know what works for you!

Hi Simon,

Good day to you. Thank you for sharing your experience. Let me just tell you that it's okay and normal to sometimes feel that way. We get fatigued and lonely when we are alone and it's all part of living. The good thing about you is you don't want to stay that way. That's why you started this thread. Some people just mope around and point blame but you actually want to do something about your condition and for that i salute you.

Now regarding your situation may I ask a few questions? What kind of antipsychotic medicines are you taking right now? Was it prescibed by a doctor? Were you diagnosed by a clinician and if you were, what kind of depression are you dealing with?

The reason for this questions is because I want to understand the state you're in. I'm not a fan on antipsychotic medications but I do believe that they are necessary to some extent. And the fact that you take them makes me wonder how extreme your case really is.

Without certain information, here are the only things I can advise you. First is try and be proactive, you said that you feel ignored and rejected at work. Well the best way to overcome that is be noticed and be accepted, not by harassing a co-worker but in a way of recognition of achievements. If you work well then the people around you will definitely have to notice.

Now regarding the relationship issue I think you pretty much think about it often and my advise is to do the opposite. Don't give too much effort thinking about want to having a relationship. The better thing to do is to actually engage in it. Build up your confidence and date another individual.

Also, try and refrain from taking antipsychotic meds instead look for natural remedies or alternative medicines. There have less harmful side effects, much affordable, and works just the same. Thank you for reading my reply.

Hi all,

Thanks for the advice its really been helpful.

I'm gonna try to make some connections outside of work, I am thinking of joining a singing group near me. I think I will also try to join some sort of club just to make new friends really.

I am on 1mg respiridone, basically I had a really bad experience a year ago, which lasted for about 4 months. I was really anxious for a long time, couldn't sleep for more than a few hours. I had quite strong delusions and just generally very depressed.

I am gonna try and see my doctor again, Last time the doctor said he wants me to stay on the meds long term. Kind of frustrating, but if they are keeping me well then I suppose it is worth it.

Simon, that singing group you mentioned sounds just like something you need for now, so go and see if they are a good group for you.
The Holidays sure can generate a lot of emotions and going away and coming back to work can be hard but there is always new days to look forward to, so after the Holidays think of Summer fun and warmer weather...
Maybe consider counseling help as well...took me 4 tries to get a good counselor and I've been with this one for around 6 yrs...it really does help and he also brings up new ways to deal with hard situations, for me, meeting new doctors is very hard....

I took risperdol for awhile, it was a good med. I am on abilify now.

Hope it all works out.

Hugs, Karen...