Daily Check In Thread For All... #135

Here is Myself's post from the last thread.



Anger is a powerful tool, contextually. It propels change, but it does have to be implemented in tightly controlled doses to be effective.

Too much anger is ineffective, because instead of being emitted as a specific laser beam of emotion, it's kinda the atom-bomb of change. But sometimes waiting for the fallout to dissipate and then rebuilding is not a good resource.

When I ID sources of anger for me, it is generally when I feel stuck in a situation about which I can do nothing, kind of like Pitmom's worries about daughter. My previous situation of a toxic workplace also made me continuallyangry. It was helpful, at first, because it caused me to be pro-active and work for change. 3 years of work with no changes felt futile and corrosive, and helped me to decide to leave after the fourth year. When action becomes inertia... or even controlling of me,MY mind and MY emotions and MY time, then I have to let it go.

Work going well. Learning a lot. I got put in the advanced class. So long as i suppress my anarchic tendencies, it ought to be a good fit. I haven't been in much since I haven't been on-line--work then gym then home then dinner then tv then bed. Rinse, repeat. It will get better.

Hi my HW family!

I have missed you and I owe you an apology. I've allowed myself to be consumed by both of my jobs. Priorities, priorities!

Myself, congrats on the job!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Karen, UA, Pit mommy and HT!!! I hope you are all well!

Hello to all of the new people!!!! You've found a great place!!!

HT, wth with the guy crashing through your gate? I'm sorry that happened!

I've been doing ok. I go tomorrow for my first pain pump refill. I'm anxious about it since it's the first time.

I'm making lunch for my coworkers on Friday- white chicken chili. It's yummy!!!!

My love to all!!!
Chele

Good morning all!!!

Chele it is nice to see you post. Good luck with the pain pump refill.

Jamie, What is going on? Email me...

Hugs to everybody!!!

Karen...

Hi all

I finally got some sleep last night, my Dr doubled my dose of nortriptyline and I think stopping my magnesium supplement is what caused the sleep problems, the increased dose of medicine should counter that. But it had to be done, I think it was making my nausea worse. I'm still feeling very stressed about sleep though, reminds me of the worst time in my life when I couldn't sleep at all, and when I try to sleep I get these tension headaches and get stressed. Hopefully these will ease over time as I get a few more good nights sleep.

Mood hasn't been too bad considering, my parents staying over until today helped I think, though I was quite teary the first few days they were here.

Feel like I'm struggling at the moment but getting by, nausea and pain are getting bad today at times as well, the stress isn't helping with that. Seeing my therapist tomorrow and think I will increase my sessions to twice a week for a little while during this difficult phase of changing medication.

I owe e-mails. hw tank fixed, got a new one. fence being done this morning. the plumber fixed my taps, a couple of leaky ones and a hard one to turn, bonus. the sun is out. spent time with a neighbour and her kids yesterday, just to chill. I have downloaded heaps of music on my mobile. I am getting slowly use to it. ttys.

Good news HT, glad things are improving.

Karen, yes, I made his costume. Probably be the last time as he is now 14 years old! This year, he is "Naruto", an anime (cartoon) character. It's always a challenge since I am not a seamstress and there are no commercially made patterns for most of the things he has wanted to be.

I used to make my daughter's costumes too, only back then, my mom would help me.

She was incredibly creative. I recall one Halloween when she made the little girl down the street 'Snow White' and the girls brother 'Prince Charming', the Seven Dwarves were us 'older kids' and I was the 'witch' with the apple! Mom took our old 'wonder horse' and mounted it to a wagon for Snow White to ride on and the Prince walked beside her! The 'Dwarves' took turns pulling the wagon. She had made heads out of chicken wire, covered with sheets painted flesh tone and painted the faces onto them. She used our brothers old t-shirts to make the stocking hats! We got the best "Group Costume" award!

I wonder if my son and his girlfriend will let me have the honor of making Halloween costumes for their little one? The baby is due in the spring, so for now, I'll settle for making baby blankets!

Having a creative outlet is such a help to me for fighting 'the blues'. I'll be transitioning the outdoor decorations over to Thanksgiving on Sunday! Then, I have a whole month to create my Christmas display. I'm planning on making 'Wooden Soldiers' out of p.v.c. pipe pieces and painting the details and making a 'giant' candy garland out of water bottles covered with cellophane. I will be repeating the 'lollipops' out of paper plates stapled together, slid over a garden stake and covered with cellophane too! Then, I'll get some 'hard board' to cut into ginger bread shapes and paint the icing on. Yep, candyland will exist for the month of December, just outside my door!

Hi Karen. Thanks for asking about my daughter. On the outside, she's holding up pretty well. She gets up and goes to work (she's a school bus monitor on a special needs bus) comes home and usually goes back to bed from fatigue and overall pain. Then, she goes back for the afternoon run. If she isn't working her pizza delivery job, she goes back to bed. Her appetite is off, which is a big concern due to her diabetes, which we hope will be resolved after the surgery and her body gets back in balance.

On the inside, she's freaking out. She's never had any other surgeries. She's taken me for almost all of mine but has no frame of reference of her own. She has panic attacks when she goes to the dentist! When she went for her C.T. scan to see if there were any issues with her sinuses (that's how they are going in to get to the tumor) they gave her the 'registration mask' to take home and bring to the hospital with her as the surgeon will use the same on for exact 'entry'. It sort of freaked her out, having her head pretty much bolted to the table! It made it 'real' for her.

Her son is exhibiting more extreme Separation Anxiety Disorder symptoms. Very, very clingy. Constantly saying 'hi' and 'I love you' to both of us. Insisting that she wake him in the morning before she leaves for work. Calling her frequently, even though he knows she cannot answer her phone while at work, etc.

We don't talk about it much, unless she brings it up. The pharmacy called about shipping meds for her post op care, but the doctor hadn't told her to expect the call and it shook her up a bit.

We're just taking things one day at a time. It's not 'today' and we don't want to 'lose' today!

Yes Karen, she will be intubated for the surgery. I know there is a video of the transphenoidal surgery online, but I haven't decided if I want to watch it. Sometimes, ignorance is bliss! That being said, I may watch it, just so I know for myself and won't be sitting in the waiting area, wondering what the heck they are doing to my daughter!?! It may help me understand the pain and discomfort she will have post op as well. It is a three hour surgery.

I will be at the hospital. My son will be looking after my grandson. Then he will bring him to see her once she is out of recovery and in her own room. She will have to stay for at least 2 days post op. He is still insisting that he is going to sleep there too! We're working on that. Getting him to understand that it is not possible.

hey everyone.

I had a great talk with my gf today. My daughter had sort of surprised me when we got back from shopping. She was on her way out with my grandson and when I asked where she was going, she replied "Church". She hasn't been to Church for years, so I asked her, "You're that scared, huh?" She said, "Well, it couldn't hurt!" After they left, I sort of broke down and just let my gf know everything that's been going through my mind about Margie's surgery this week. It felt great! She just listened to everything. Perfect. That's all I needed. I feel safe with her. Safe enough to let her see me that vulnerable. That scared. She gave me the warmest hug, then spent the next 2 hours helping me switch out the Halloween decorations for the Thanksgiving ones! She would have rather been watching football! I feel loved.

Today, I'm frustrated. My son has not been able to get down here to fix my truck. Mind you, I pay the car insurance on all three vehicles. He took his Jeep 'off roading' multiple times and now he's upset because it was 'breaking in two'!?! I had to get off of the phone with him before I exploded! He thinks that because his sister went to school for mechanics and knows how to do what needs to be done, she should fix my truck. Um, duh! She's having brain surgery in 3 days! Don't think she's gonna be under my truck! Argh! Argh! Argh!

Granted, I can use the car but would rather not for 2 reasons. It needs to be sprayed with ether in order to start and it's deer mating season. I've already experienced hitting a deer on the highway. At that time, I drove a Chevy Blazer and was safe. I have to travel the exact same highway back and forth to the hospital. Not looking forward to that, in a car!

Hoping my neighbor can fix the brake line on my truck.

Hey Pitmom,

So sorry about the vehicle situation. I hope your son fixes the truck for you.

Andy,

I hope that the cbd oil works for you too. Best wishes to you both...

Jamie,

You can post that here. No problem with that. I wont think you are a spammer... Ha...

Hugs to all...

Good day to all!!!

Karen...

Yeh, well I dont eat any fat at all at the moment because it does cause me issues, dont really think its a gall bladder thing, just that the digestive juices required to digest fat irritate my esophagus far more than those required for boiled potatoes. Unfortunately protein is even worse for me, requires lots of acid and enzymes to break down that also irritate my esophagus. I have protein just twice a day after my medication because it makes it work better.

My main problem is the quantity I can eat is limited because it all just comes back up to my throat all day, so fat at least doesnt take up much space but alas does seem to be making me feel worse.

Guess Ill just stick to the boiled potatoes again for now. I at least got a test booked for next week to measure my levels of reflux, if its really bad not sure what I'll do as only really got surgery left as an option.