depression vs love

I am hoping for some encouraging advice...I'm new to this forum and have had depression off and on for 25 years, now being 39. I feel life has dealt me an awful hand and I can't seem to get on top of it. Long story short, I was left in solitude as a child, verbally abused, shown no affection and pushed to be no one. I have 2 children from failing relationships, looking for love in the wrong people. I finally find "the one", I thought...but he can't accept me for me even after 5 years. Is that too much to ask? I know depression is hard for everyone involved. He tells me I'm a product of how I was brought up, says he feels like he's on a roller coaster, and goes on and on about how I treat him feeling like a convenience. I tried medication but it ended intimate part of our relationship. I was always open with him about the stuff but he couldnt understand. It just didnt seem fair...maybe the single life is better for someone with depression?

We are ALL a product of how we were brought up, and everything else that has followed since! The key for me was to 'remind' myself that my present partner (11 yrs) is NOT my mother, my father, my siblings, my ex, etc. She does not run on the same motives as the others. She too is the product of her life experiences.

Sometimes, we need to clarify things with each other. Neither of us is a mind reader! We've mostly been able to turn the roller coaster into lasagna noodles. It's a lot of work but totally worth it.

One of the tools that helped me quite a bit is a book called "The Five Love Languages". I can't remember the author's name. We all do things based on our past experiences which become the way we 'speak' love. Learning about this helped me explain things not only to her, but to myself first! Perhaps it will help you, too.

It is best to consult with your doctor and ask for his opinion. Have in mind that drugs and therapies for depression are always getting better so perhaps you can find something for your particular case. Also, try to keep informed on the internet. No matter what, do not lose hope!