Hello.. Long time no see

Hi everyone, I've not been on this site for a loooong time!
Was previously here due to Anxiety/Panic attacks which I can proudly say I overcame and no longer have (hardly) any issues with!

However.. The past couple of months I feel like I am losing myself. I have a great boyfriend and have recently started a new role in my job which is much better suited to me, BUT I don't have anything else.

I don't know whether anyone will be able to shed any light on why I have NO friends.. not one.
I don't think I'm a horrible person and can't see any reason why people don't like me but they just don't.
My boyfriend has a massive group of friends so is always doing things with them, at which time I sit at home on my own and drag myself down into feeling awful thoughts about how there's no point in living etc.

I no longer see a friend in my Mother as she is having her own issues and has more important things to think about. Other family members aren't close enough to me..

Can anyone give me any advice on how to deal with being alone and how to stop the horrible thoughts before they start to get the better of me and I lose myself completely?

Thanks in advance

I had one friend who didn't treat me very well and has chosen not to stay in contact with me.
I sit at home because I feel like I need to lock myself away and be on my own. I think I punish myself.

It's very difficult to just 'find' friends. There isn't many clubs or things like that where I live and I think that even if I joined a class I would still be alone.

I can't figure it out but I must have some massive personality flaw which means people don't like to include me in social activities (other than family). It's not that I don't KNOW anybody, I know loads of people, just that they we aren't 'friends'.

I know the feeling CT. However, I am someone who is okay with being alone. most of the time. I agree with the post above - you need to learn to like being by yourself. I live near a city and most of my time is either spent alone or with my brother and I've come to accept that that is okay.

I don't think you have a massive personality flaw, but you definitely are punishing yourself thinking you need to sit at home alone. Even just going to a quick walk around the neighbor would be a good thing to do.

If you need someone to talk to - I'd be more than happy to give you my email or #. I isolate myself a lot, so I know how you are feeling.