Only way i am satisfied

Welcome to the forum. Strange isn't it, how we don't realize that alcohol is a depressant! Have you had a frank discussion with your doctor? Some folks benefit from going to a rehabilitation program. Some folks do fine with 12 step meetings. Talking honestly with your doctor may help you figure out which would work best for you. Meanwhile, you could go to a few meetings and see if you think they would be of help to you.

Many believe that it is a type of allergic reaction. Just as people allergic to strawberries break out in hives, if one is allergic to alcohol they cannot control their drinking for long and suffer all sorts of repercussions.

Keep posting and let us know how things are going.

I would echo others who recommend a Dr. You are essentially self medicating with alcohol, the problem isn't your drinking per se, it is that you feel you need to drink to be happy. That sounds like you are depressed and/or addicted to it.

Anxiety often comes hand in hand with depression, which will be why your mind is spinning when you try to sleep. We tend to over analyse things and become obsessed with things, at least I do.

The first step is recognising what the problem is and you've done that. Now you can start the road to recovery, depression is treatable, with therapy and/or medication. A Dr will help you treat the drinking problem alongside the underlying issues. It may not be a fast recovery but you will get there.

Best wishes.