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I'm in a very dark place right now.

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Posted 2/17/2016 1:10 PM (GMT 0)
I need some advice about how to keep myself from being insecure. I'm having a hard time trusting anyone since I have come to the realization that my mother and sister have been talking behind my back and spreading lies and all this because I was upset that my mother and father never visit me and my family 45 minutes away from them yet they drive across states to see my other siblings and their families. I know now that my mother is narcissistic and my sister is very jealous of me and has never accepted my love. When my husband and I were first married 25 years ago his family was very mean to me and would gossip about me and made me feel horrible about myself. Now my family is doing it, all because of the triangulation my mother and sister have caused.
I'm losing my confidence and feel very unloved and just want to isolate myself from everyone. I stay at home and care for my 30 yr old handicapped son, I have lost all hope in trusting anyone.
Posted 2/17/2016 3:05 PM (GMT 0)
I think in order not to be insecure, you have to be secure with yourself.

Trust has to be earned by the people we aren't trusting. That may never happen.

Try not to think about these people. Try not to worry about what they think about you. I have learned to not care what others think about me. I know who I am and that is all that matters. It takes time though.

You know who you are, you know what you have done in life,. Know you are a good person and that is all that matters. You take good care of your son. That says a lot.

I hope you can overcome the trust issues so you can be happy.

Hugs, Karen....
Posted 2/17/2016 8:29 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Deborah,

So sorry to hear that you are feeling let down and hurt right now. When you say that you need advice to not be "insecure", I am wondering if you could clarify what this word means to you, and what it would look like for you not to be insecure.
Posted 2/18/2016 3:24 AM (GMT 0)
Families do not promise instant love. You would think they would, that is where the insecurity comes from. We get side swiped by the people we thought loved us and come to find out they gossip about us!

Well, you can not make a person love you, even family. I sadly know this.

NONE OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT!

People who are mean to others are hurting themselves, on inside. Instead of facing their pain, they push it on to others. Misery love company.

I think if you work on self-compassion. Living for you, husband and son. Ignore you Mother and Sister, unless they contact you. If they do, be pleasant, but don't have to give any information out and thank them for calling if they do. They will come to know you are not a target anymore. You job is not to please them. Their loss that they do not want to know the real you.

Peace
Trina

Most of there pleasure is that you react to their hurtful actions.
Posted 2/18/2016 10:59 AM (GMT 0)
I can relate to what you are saying. I haven't had a lot of emotional support from my family and it's hard to take that the people that are supposed to love you are hurting you. I found that distancing myself from my family and surrounding myself with people that accept me "as I am", really helps. Take care of yourself. There are people you can trust, sometimes they're hard to find. This is a good place to come for support.
Posted 2/18/2016 2:35 PM (GMT 0)
Yes, KC, 'family' does not have to be blood relations. Just has to have love and compassion.

Peace
Trina
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