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Posted 3/4/2016 4:34 PM (GMT 0)
My depression has surfaced yet again and I just want to sit on the couch and google, or nap. My house is a mess, that makes me nuts, I hate clutter. I know why I have depression, it's because of my handicapped sons nasty attitude, that makes it hard to care for him, it is because of the pain from my self centered mother and lying sister and the pain they caused me. It may because I have no friends and never leave the house. I don't know, I just feel horrible and can't kick it.
Posted 3/4/2016 6:04 PM (GMT 0)
HI Deborah,

As I recall, you were advised to try to limit contact with your mother and sister. Do you still see them?

I think a lot of your problem is with your situation. Is there anything you could change?

I once heard a lady say... If you are unhappy, change your situation. If you can't change the situation, then change your attitude.

A lot in our lives is the way we look at things. Do you go to therapy? In therapy, they teach you to look at things differently and how not to let things get to you. I think if you aren't going, you should. It will get you out of the house and give you somebody to talk to.

Do you live where it is cold and gloomy in the winter? A lot of us suffer from SAD. Often getting a light box helps. But remember, spring is just around the corner and it will be nicer soon.

I really think for you that therapy would be useful. You got a lot on your plate right now and it is hard to cope alone. I hope you feel better soon.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 3/4/2016 6:10 PM (GMT 0)
I have been no contact with my mother and sister, but just found out a rumor has been gong around started by my sister that I cheated on my husband. This is a hurtful lie and I confronted her and she told me to F... off. I told my mother what my sister said, and my mother told me to get over it and that I'm killing her.
Posted 3/4/2016 8:57 PM (GMT 0)
I think that getting over it is a good idea. We can't control what other people do. The only other thing you could do is maybe press charges for slander. But that would be a long shot. We do best when we learn to ignore people like this, and the world is full of them. I know it hurts, but the only thing you can control is the way that you react to this. You and your husband know what is true and what is not.

Being that your mother is not supportive, I think staying away is the best thing and you are trying to do that.

I had to do the same thing years ago and it was the best thing that I ever did.

Best wishes...

Think about the therapy...
Posted 3/4/2016 9:27 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks getting by, I know I need to get on with my life, it's just hard, my mind doesn't want to believe how cruel my mother is.
Posted 3/5/2016 2:39 PM (GMT 0)
Sorry you are in a dark place.

Can you get help in for your son?

I can only imagine how hard it must be. Can you apply for state assistance and have him placed in a care facility that is appropriate?

Things do have to change for you to feel better.

There is not shame or guilt to have your son moved for your and/or his betterment.

Peace and strength
Trina
Posted 3/5/2016 6:23 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Deborah,

I don't think anybody wants to admit to them selves that their parents aren't nice. I tried working things out with my mother for years, but when I turned 30 I realized it was a waste of time. It is hard to break contact but it would be for your own good. Try to accept her for who she is and try to move on. Do yourself a favor.

I think Trina has a good point about your son. But I think if you could focus on just him and not your mother interfering, it would be easier. It can and may be difficult, but you have to think of your well being.

Hang in there...
Posted 3/7/2016 1:07 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks for the support, you all are right.
Posted 3/7/2016 2:10 PM (GMT 0)
Deb,

I too had a bad, to say the least, mother. I never stopped trying to get her approval til the day she died.

I wasted a lot of energy and time for nothing. Please take Karens advice and give yourself the peace I could have had.

Trina
Posted 3/8/2016 12:43 PM (GMT 0)
I ally let her go, and I finally gave up. I realize she never really loved me.
Posted 3/8/2016 12:48 PM (GMT 0)
It isn't that she doesn't love you. She is selfish. She is toxic to you. That is why you need to stay away as much as possible. I broke contact all together. We can't control what other people do or think.

I hope that things get better for you soon...

Hugs, Karen...
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