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any one on meds for life? chronic depression

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Posted 4/6/2016 4:37 PM (GMT 0)
I know Ive been posting alot lately. But here is my fear.

-If Im on a high dosage of my AD , when it stops being effective will I always require high doses when switching?

-Is it likely that one antidpressant wont work, but another will be very helpful?

-Are there alot of different options for depression out there?

-Do you think they will make alot of new meds soon for options?

Thanks,

Knowing these things will really help my anxiety, as Im terrified I have to live like this forever...currently going back to my old AD which worked well...almost maxed out rolleyes Tried 10mg of cipralex but it only helped a little if not at all. Scared that my options might run out, even though Ive only tried cipralex.

Posted 4/6/2016 5:05 PM (GMT 0)
I expect to be on anti-depressants for life, cuz every time I stop taking them my life goes to hell in a handcart.

There are a number of studies that speak to serotonin elasticity, and the brain's tendency to shift serotonin production to reflect what it thinks is a proper balance. This results in some antidepressants losing efficacy over time. It's not uncommon for people to shift from an SSRI, like Cipralex, to an SNRI, like Pristiq, as their needs change. Last time I checked, no one really understands how antidepressants work, just that they do. That's why there's so many different chemicals available.

If neurotransmitter elasticity becomes a problem for you, your doctor can actually switch you back and forth from one AD type to another. There are a number of different drugs that do the same thing, but work differently; the chances of you burning through all of them in a lifetime are pretty slim.

I know you feel edgy right now but I'm confident you'll be okay. Depression sucks, and depression with concurrent anxiety really sucks. Don't give up on yourself and stop letting this consume you.

Go do something fun today, sadgirl. Worry about all this stuff tomorrow.
Posted 4/6/2016 5:33 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks
you totally understand my worries.
Im gonna focus on getting better now, instead of worrying that Ill run out of depression treatment options. I gotta have faith that ill be ok. Its just nuts cos i started out at the lowest, i mean lowest dosage of effexor of 37.5, stopped taking them thinking my life would be ok. BIG MISTAKE, life dismangled in 1 week like you said. Kept going back on it, only to keep increasing it by a little more. Each time kept doing that. Finally ive learned my lesson to never get off my medication until it stops working!!!!!! Im pushing the max dosage on effexor and im scared cos I didnt respond to 10mg of cipralex!! thats a good dosage. Too terrified to try anything else, so im going back to my old AD. with another increase. My mind is telling me that I might have to live like this forever, and I only think of death as an option..which terrifies me even more. I DONT WANT TO DIE, BUT I CANNOT SUFFER LIKE THIS...ITS INHUMAN...

yOUR REPLY WAS HELPFUL, KNOW THAT YOU ARE HELPING ME RIGHT NOW :)
Posted 4/6/2016 5:46 PM (GMT 0)
Yeah, been there, bought the t-shirt.

Cipralex is weird. Took it for a year and change but switched cuz I found it too sedating. But for something that's so sedating, holy crap does it make you edgy as hell for the first little while.

Effexor is a beeyotch to get off of. No wonder you're having problems.

The suffering is temporary. I don't know your timeline with respect to what you took for how long and when, but EVERYTHING you're describing sounds normal.
Posted 4/6/2016 6:06 PM (GMT 0)
I made the mistake of going off of Effexor once too. I had a really hard time. I did it because I was feeling better and didn't realize the Effexor was the reason. When I switched from Effexor to pristiq it worked well though. No withdrawal effects.

Try to think of each day as a blessing, concentrate only on that day. None of us know if our antidepressants are actually going to even work the next day. To be honest we could worry about all kinds of things. That is why it is so important to focus on only one day at a time. I know it is hard, but you will learn to do this.

Like F27 said, this is only temporary. Hang in there and don't give up. Try to focus on the positives.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 4/6/2016 6:07 PM (GMT 0)
CIPRALEX gave me extreme head pressure and eye pressure. It was bad, couldnt keep my eyes open.
Ive weened off effexor like a champ. I know its awful...but its also my life saver. Maybe later on in life when its completely stopped working..ill try Viibryd or Cymbalta, cos right now Im desperate. Been sick for approx 6 months. Also tried Abilify, made me crazy edgy!!!!
Posted 4/6/2016 6:17 PM (GMT 0)
Karen,
your input is much appreciated. You are right, anything can happen at any time. The unknown is very haunting, human beings hate it. Ill keep in mind that everyone here has gone through this and came out of it.Also research is advancing quickly, maybe there will be a cure one day.

Claudia

HUGS
Posted 4/6/2016 6:20 PM (GMT 0)
Heheh ... my favourite Cipralex "feature" was the brain zaps.

Oy vey.
Posted 4/6/2016 7:41 PM (GMT 0)
You can't get to the future by refusing to do the present. You*might* hit an end-point with meds--you might not. There is no way to tell how your physiognomy and your chemistry will respond in the long run.

You can only judge something on the right now.

I am on meds for life. For pain-for depression-for sleep. I have been on IBD meds for 12 years, and just recently stopped taking them, due to some issues. I made my peace with meds for life when first diagnosed with UC.

My goal has always been to have the best quality of life and be able to do what I need to do. For instance, if I do not sleep I am useless. I cannot work,because I make too many mistakes. I cannot exercise or do much of anything because I hurt too much. I am tired,so i try to take a nap,which messes up my sleep patterns at night even more. This only reinforces the depression, and causes more pain, because my body hates being still. After a week of this, I am up the proverbial excrement creek.

So, as much as I wish it was different, I take sleep meds. I *hope* they will continue to be effective.If they do not,well, I will cross that creek then.

Brain zaps are NO fun. Thought the worst side effect i ever had was on Cymbalta. I was angry--more depressed and on edge and furious than usual,with no pain relief.
Posted 4/8/2016 3:55 AM (GMT 0)
Yes Sadgirl, I have been taking anti-depressants for 26 years (wow.. a moment of realization just hit me). I can't see ever not being on them. There have been times that my meds have worked and then times when they need adjusting. I'm in one of those adjustment periods right now :(

Hopefully they will find the right meds or new meds that will help. Therapy helps me too.. but not always completely.

Hang in there.
Posted 4/8/2016 2:19 PM (GMT 0)
Yea
it sucks be in limbo.
miss my normal life!!@😨I'm sure we will get relief soon
Having some good days, but morning anxiety is evil.
Posted 4/8/2016 3:47 PM (GMT 0)
Remember to breathe!!! It really helps curb the anxiety.

I hope you guys are both having a good day today. Sunny here for a change!

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 4/8/2016 5:03 PM (GMT 0)
This is my first post on this forum. I came here because I am feeling so lost. I've suffered from dysthymia since I was a teenager but it wasn't until my 50's that I was finally put on anti depressants. I am now 61. When I first started taking them (I think the first one was Lexapro) I started feeling human, the way most people would feel. That would last for a few months and then the sadness would become overwhelming and my dose would be increased. Then I would okay for awhile.

This became a pattern of changing meds: Lexapro, Celexa and Effexor are the ones I remember without them working for more than a few months. Oddly I only feel suicidal when I am on anti depressants. The last psychiatrist I saw said she thought I had a form of bi-polar and gave me lamotrigine which made me feel awful. I finally thought perhaps if I got off of all my meds my serotonin and norepinephrine levels would go back to normal.

Unfortunately my mental state is so fragile that the slightest thing can throw me into a tailspin of sadness and depression.

My youngest son moved out a month ago and I am feeling so very alone despite having a loving sister nearby. I feel like what is the point of getting up in the morning, life is so boring and monotonous and I wish I could just go to sleep and not wake up (I am not suicidal at this time). I have been on disability for the last 10 years for fibromyalgia and the depression.

My husband died in 2010 and eight months later I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Had double mastectomy with reconstruction. I realize these things alone would cause a person to be depressed but I have gotten over them.

I realize I am fortunate that I don't have to work and that I receive a pension from my husband's 20 years in the military.

I realize I am writing a novel here but I don't know what to do anymore. Should I try another in a long line of anti depressants? When I'm doing okay I think maybe I should find a part time job to give me a reason to get up in the morning? Those thoughts disappear when I'm feeling bad like the last few days. When I went to the oncologist for my semi-annual blood work this week I am silently hoping that the cancer is back and that I will die. Then I feel guilty because of all the people that do have cancer that are trying so hard to live.

I've been dealing with chronic depression for 45 years and I'm oh so tired of it. I know it will always come back and after all these years I just feel defeated even though I know the saddest feelings will pass.
Posted 4/8/2016 5:27 PM (GMT 0)
Hi LadyBug2730,

Your post reminded me of "Drunk By Noon". a great song by The Handsome Family. There's one verse that always stood out for me:

*****************

I always thought is was such an accurate description of depression.

Lots of people experience what you do. There's a honeymoon period where ADs just work, life is great, the sun is brighter, and the world is all kumbaya-ish. Then your brain gets used to the new chemical norm, and slides back to where it was. Thankfully, as you experienced previously, we can have a new honeymoon every time we change chemicals.

The key is to do some work during your honeymoon. CBT is good. PT is good. Socializing is good. All that stuff that we hate doing when we're depressed. Face it, if we don't change the way we think about stuff, we're eventually going to fall into the same patterns.

If I were you, I'd go on another chemically created honeymoon and thoughtfully and purposely try and set the foundation for a more fulfilling life.

And get a cat. They're awesome.

Hang in LadyBug2730


Post edited for content not on topic, possibly harmful

Post Edited By Moderator (BnotAfraid) : 4/10/2016 9:34:29 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 4/8/2016 5:39 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you for your response - I've been sitting here checking the computer every few moments hoping someone would have an answer.

What is CBT? Is PT physical therapy?

The more I read about anti depressants and their side effects the more anxious I get about taking them. I'm actually considering ECT.

By the way I don't have a cat but I have two tiny dogs that I love dearly.
Posted 4/8/2016 5:53 PM (GMT 0)
LADY BUG,

IF you think ECT is an option..let me know if you do it and how it works..Ive heard good things about it.
Why not try something that will help yanno?
At this point, you have nothing to lose and so much to gain.
I often wish I had a terminal disease too bc it would make it easier to go. But make peace with the fact that one day you will die for sure, try to make the best of it while youre here.
Try what you need to try to get some relief.

Keep me posted
Posted 4/8/2016 6:00 PM (GMT 0)
I quit seeing my psychiatrist because I felt anti depressants weren't helping. When I talk to my psychologist he tells me to go back on anti depressants which I don't want to do anymore. Why deal with all the side effects if they are only going to work for a short time and then I'm right back where I started or worse?

I've heard with ECT some people still have to take anti depressants which I don't want to do.

I'm tired of trying to hide this from my family and making believe I am okay. They realize when I start hibernating that I am having a hard time but I just want to be left alone until it passes.

Post Edited (LadyBug2730) : 4/8/2016 3:29:32 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 4/8/2016 6:14 PM (GMT 0)
Hi again LadyBug,

Critter companions are the world's way of hugging us.

PT is physical training - making physical goals within your personal realm of possible and reaching them. For my wife it's a walk around the block, for me it's a little more ambitious. CBT is cognitive behavioral therapy, it's pretty much the gold standard of processes for re-framing negative thinking. Best effect on acute psychological distress, like panic or anxiety, but also has some benefit for dysthymia. Amazon will have a bunch of related titles if you're interested.

Can't speak to ECT, but I imagine the jolt would be similar to the chemical jolt from ADs. A reset that gives you enough of a reprieve to start working on changing your behavior patterns.

AD side effects are a balancing act at best. It's a "what sucks less?" scenario. Would you rather experience headaches, nausea, constipation, sleepless nights, dozy days, anorgasmia, ravenous appetite, muscle twitches, blah, blah blah, blah, etc; or would you rather be depressed? I don't like being depressed, and the constipation gives me time to check my email.

Speaking of ravenous appetites, I'd be happy to share my lunch with you, but there's no "Share Pizza" button on this forum.
Posted 4/8/2016 6:27 PM (GMT 0)
<i>"They realize when I start hibernating that I am having a hard time but I just want to be left alone until it passes."</i>

What? Don't you like hearing about how you should just "cheer up", and "be happy"? lol

Why don't you do both? Start a new round of ADs, and start exploring ECT? Nothing wrong with hedging your bets, and you know the ADs will bring you some short term help.
Posted 4/8/2016 8:38 PM (GMT 0)
Generally side effects are gone in two weeks or less when starting a new AD. Though for me they worked good, then about a month or two down the road I got the side effects and they wouldn't go away. But if you get them in the beginning, they usually do go away. It gets frustrating I know, it took me five tries before I found something that worked.

Ladybug, believe me you are not alone. We have all been through it. It takes time and hard work. Keep at it. Keep seeing your psychologist. If they come up with another med you haven't tried, give it a go. Like posted above, you know you will feel good for a little while and that is better than not at all.

I Found that cbt worked good for me. There is a book called "Feeling Good" by Dr. David Burns. It is an older book but it is real good and easy to understand. I find most self help books are though. I don't read a lot actually when it comes to books. So I get bored easy. This book helped me a lot.

I did notice you mentioned suicide a couple of times. We can't discuss it here, forum rules. Thanks in advance for understanding. And there are numbers and helpful sites about that at the top of the page under "depression resources".

I hope you stick around. It helps to know you aren't alone. Keep trying. Never give up. Know we are all here for you.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 4/8/2016 8:39 PM (GMT 0)
Sadgirl,

How are you feeling today? I Hope that this was a good day for you...

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 4/8/2016 9:23 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you all - I'm just trying to take one day at a time. You can't believe the anxiety I get when trying a new AD - well I'm sure some of you probably understand. The last one I tried I put it in my mouth, took it out, started getting a mild panic attack, took a lorazepam, then when that kicked in took the lamotrogine.

I have had bad experiences with medication in the past, one sent me to the hospital plus my thyroid surgery left me with a paralyzed vocal cord and Vocal Cord Dysfunction which is worse than anything I have experienced (physically). I do not trust doctors very much anymore and feel like I am a guinea pig to them every time they prescribe a new med.

I will look for the book "Feeling Good" at the library. Has anyone here overcome depression (as much as anyone can) with CBT? Everything I have read about dysthymia is very disheartening for older people.

Post Edited (LadyBug2730) : 4/8/2016 3:31:55 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 4/8/2016 9:42 PM (GMT 0)
CBT worked very well for me when it came to managing outlook. Perhaps it sounds odd, but while I still experience significant depressive episodes, the CBT skills I've learned help me to keep perspective and hope. I get down, sometimes REALLY down, but I have faith that I'll persevere.

For me the combo of CBT and ADs allow me to have as normal a life as one could expect.

+1 for Feeling Good - pretty much the CBT bible.

***edit***

Ooooh, I forgot. Buy your own copy. The book has a swack of worksheets that tend to come pre-filled-out by previous library patrons.
Posted 4/8/2016 11:26 PM (GMT 0)
You can find it cheap on Amazon. I got a good used one for six dollars. Or less, now I can't remember. Ha!!!

Have a good night you guys.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 4/9/2016 3:06 AM (GMT 0)
Hi getting by,
Today was more of a depression day:(
But I keep my head up knowing it will get better.
Crying and praying helps, plus having you guys does too!,,
Having good days and bad days so I know the effexor is kinda working.....
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